Since my Great grandmother passed... My family does not prayer together at thanksgiving... She or my Great Grandfather would do it and when My Grandfather passed she did it... But now thats shes gone No one will do it... Everyone prays on their own... And this yr it hurt me to see it... I miss my Grandparents so much... also No one will sit in thier chairs... So we all shove together on the couch or in folded chairs... and we all just sit there... No one really talks everyone just watched tv... I Love my family but Nothing has been the same since My Grandmother mainly passed... although there was more today then there has been in the last 3 yrs since Granny passed... It hurt...
anyone else have something like this happen??
Yes!! Every holiday sucks since my gma passed away and this was on 1994!! We used to go over to their house every Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have't seen my dad's side of the family since my gpa's funeral in 2002. I saw them for the first time this past August at my dad's funeral and they treated me like an alien!!!! We also used to have a huge July 4th celebration and my gma died July 1st so of course we didn;t have it that year but even after that we never had it again. It sucks. I think it is time for us to start new traditions. As much as it sucks to have lost a near and dear family member we have to think of the family who is still here and the children. We don't want our kids growing up and remembering watching TV while eating pizza for thanksgiving!! So yea momma, start new traditions even if it means doing it only in your house. We can't dwell on the past, we remember the ones we have loved and lost and they will always be there with us on the holidays. I think they are rolling in their graves at the fact that the family acts they way they do. ***End rant** lol
No one wants anyone to do it... it was discused and everyone INcluding myself agreed that No one was going to do it... and Its not that no one is praying... Im in NO way Religious and my SO is Pegan and I don't ususally pray but its the whole thing of MISSING my Grandparents and that part of thanksgiving and Christmas... I mean we don't even go to my uncles for Christmas anymore... and we did when my Great grand parents were alive... It just hurts!! KWIM???
Quoting Just_Bethy:
Maybe you could ask someone to take over and if there are no takers ask if they mind if you carry on the tradition.??
Yes things like this happen in every family when the matriarch (s) dies. It is a sad time for families but it doesn't have to be this way. New traditions can be born and mixed in with the old.
I don't know when you will all be getting together again but next time maybe you can sit in grandmothers chair and as you do tell everyone that you feel very close to her today. Ask them to share some of their favorite memories of her and share some of yours with them.
I know how hard it is when people we love die. I've lost more people in my forty years that were close to me than most people do in an entire lifetime. I have no grandparents, no aunts or uncles left, most of my cousins are already deceased. I've lost several friends including my bestest friend. I went through miscarriages and lost my dad. I've lost two entire sets of inlaws as well as one boyfriend.
But one thing I have discovered is that people never really die if we remember them. All we have to do is close our eyes and they are right here with us. I discovered this one morning after I had visited my mom. When I got home I was thinking about the conversation we had and then started thinking about my dad and a conversation we had one time that was almost paralel to this one. As I sat there thinking I realized that the memory I had from just that morning was no different than the memory of my dad from years prior. Thats when I discovered we are all really only a memory anyway. Once the time spent with a loved one is over we become a memory even if we have not died.
I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else but I found some small comfort in it.
Good ideas... Thanks... Im sorry for ur losses.
Quoting De_Chick:
Yes things like this happen in every family when the matriarch (s) dies. It is a sad time for families but it doesn't have to be this way. New traditions can be born and mixed in with the old.
I don't know when you will all be getting together again but next time maybe you can sit in grandmothers chair and as you do tell everyone that you feel very close to her today. Ask them to share some of their favorite memories of her and share some of yours with them.
I know how hard it is when people we love die. I've lost more people in my forty years that were close to me than most people do in an entire lifetime. I have no grandparents, no aunts or uncles left, most of my cousins are already deceased. I've lost several friends including my bestest friend. I went through miscarriages and lost my dad. I've lost two entire sets of inlaws as well as one boyfriend.
But one thing I have discovered is that people never really die if we remember them. All we have to do is close our eyes and they are right here with us. I discovered this one morning after I had visited my mom. When I got home I was thinking about the conversation we had and then started thinking about my dad and a conversation we had one time that was almost paralel to this one. As I sat there thinking I realized that the memory I had from just that morning was no different than the memory of my dad from years prior. Thats when I discovered we are all really only a memory anyway. Once the time spent with a loved one is over we become a memory even if we have not died.
I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else but I found some small comfort in it.
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on Nov. 26, 2009 at 9:23 PM