Reregressing?? What gives

[Cait5156]

 My son is 3 1/2 Has been potty trained for 8 months easy. Had no problem with it at all, no accidents, I was amazed. Now all the sudden he's having an accident a day. Asks for a binky every night (quit that last year). And has been acting out a lot. Hitting the dog, and people, argueing back.

I know there has to be some reason behind it. He's been spending a lot of time at his dads house lately. There's not much structure there and his house is trashed. I know it's not the best place for him. But I've been workign crazy hours, and his step-dad is in Basic Training. And to top off everything I'm due in 2 weeks. So I know my son has a lot going on but I'm scared of what effect this new baby might have on him. I'm trying my absolute hardest to keep his life as close to normal and comfortable as possible, but there's so much I have no control over right now and I don't know how to help my baby.

I'm starting to feel super sad and quilty that I can't give him the attention he deserves. And thinking about what it's gunna do to him when the new baby comes, how to I help him cope? How do I cope? :( sucky horomones on top of everything...

any advice? ...please

[maryb311]

Sounds like the new baby is already affecting him. He sees you buying stuff for the baby already and he probably knows this baby will get alot of attention. I would use "big boy" rewards. Each day that he doesn't have an accident he gets some sort of prize like a little car or some cheapy dollar store toy. Read him books about being a big brother and talk to him about the new baby and how he needs to show him/her how to be "big". I dunno that is all I have! Hope it helps and good luck!

[kacree]

my youngest started doing things like this too, and ive come to find out that most of it is an attention thing, he went to a dif sitter and i had to work more. so everynight ive tried to step back and give him that attention hes been lacking and praising him more for his good behavier. hope that helps im sorry your going through this

[TheJerseyGirl]

I think it's just a phase and he will work it out eventually. I'm sure the new baby coming and the transition of that and having to leave you to go to his dad's is stressful to him. It will pass...remember NONE on us grow up peeing our pants! And YES you are too hormonal so give yourself a break! You are a good mom and naturally worry. He will be fine...

[Cait5156]

Quoting TheJerseyGirl:

I think it's just a phase and he will work it out eventually. I'm sure the new baby coming and the transition of that and having to leave you to go to his dad's is stressful to him. It will pass...remember NONE on us grow up peeing our pants! And YES you are too hormonal so give yourself a break! You are a good mom and naturally worry. He will be fine...

Thank you so much. You (& combination horomones) made me cry. thanks :)

[mamalinzie]

I nannied for a little  boy who was going through this with a new sister. His parents were not around much, and so  I know it was hard on him. I just did my best to give him a lot of attention and get him involved in the care as much as possible. I had him get diapers, wipes, throw away dirty diapers, get me a pillow to feed the baby, hold the bottle, etc. Anything he could do to help, and then told him how important he was, how helpful he was, etc really made a difference.

Its also important to allow him to cry and throw tantrums, in a safe place where he isnt going to himself, others, or things, when he needs to. And be there to comfort him when he is done. It really is the best way for some children to release all of the emotions.

Definitely talk to him about inappropriate displays of his feelings, such as hitting people and animals, etc. But be patient and calm and understanding. Talk about how it hurts peoples feelings and makes them feel sad.

I hope this helps. My daughter has actually been regressing a bit, too, and she is about the same age as your son. Unfortunately, I cant really pinpoint anything that is setting her off. 3 year olds are weird. lol.