What to do with all this stuff my dad just gave me? go ahead and bash...
Ugh, so my dad just came and saw our house for the first time, ever. We bought it 3 years ago, but he hasn't even cared enough to drive an hour when he is in town to come see it, until he has a new girlfriend. Anyways, he always tries to impress his new broads by having them come meet me and give me things in front of them. I am just so disgusted by his behavior that I don't want anything he has to give me anymore. He thought he would impress this one by stopping at the dollar store (whooohoooo!) on the way to my house and let her pick out any and everything that has to do with a baby. I have told him hundreds of times that I need NOTHING for this little girl and whatever he does, don't buy me a bunch of random stuff. Soooo, she walks through the door and hands me a huge gift bag filled with stuff that I will never use. He got me pretty much everything you NEED for a baby, yes, but I don't need any of it and I sure as hell don't want it if it comes from him. I got baby wash, lotion, binkys, formula accessories, bottles (which any of you BFing mommas know that you don't just go randomly buy crappy bottles from the dollar store if you have a choice in the matter. I spent hours researching what kind I was going to use, then came up with a back up plan!), cotton balls, and a bunch of other stuff. I have ALL of it already and I have certain brands that I use exclusively, for my own reasons. I refuse to use any of it.
I really want these things to go to good use, though. I was thinking about finding someone on Wish Upon a Hero, but there is no one in my area and I can't afford shipping. I really want it to go to someone who will really use it. Any suggestions?
And yes, I am completely aware that I sounds like an ungrateful brat. I'm sure I am being one to an extent, but you really don't know all the shit that this "man" has put me through. He will go MONTHS without talking to me, his only child, until he finds a new barwhore, then he tries to play father of the year. He uses me to act like he has a perfect little family, then once I don't fit his agenda anymore, he brushes me off until he has to take me back out of the closet, dust me off and show me off again. He has been doing this my ENTIRE life. He wouldn't take me for visitation unless he was taking me to a girlfriend's house, and then he would only take me long enough to show me off, drop me back at my mom's or his parents, then leave me there and go back to his girlfriend's house alone for the night. Each and everytime, he acts like he swoops in and gives me a bunch of stuff to save the day, then he feels like he has fufilled his obligation for the next year. I really explained to him that I wanted HIM to come see our house, by himself, but he flat out refused unless he could bring his new gf with. What would be the point of coming here alone? Then no one would notice his awesomeness. *eyeroll* So, I have decided that I will accept anything he has to give, but I will not keep it. I don't want it in my house and I don't want to use it with my child. I'm sure his ego will benefit someone else, though.
sometimes a foodbank or something like that will take those things and distribute them to families who could use them...maybe call around and see if you could drop those off so that someone who needs them can have them. they dont have to know the whole story just tell them that you dont need them and that they are new.
Taking each day as it comes and trying to make the best out of every situation. I love my family and hate to cook, Taco bell is my favorite although i try not to eat out all the time. Im a probreastfeeding, anti CIO, gotta work kind of mom.
our newest addition coming soon:
Do you have a battered women's shelter in your area? If so, that is one place you can take it. Or even a local church that helps expectant moms get stuff needed for baby.
you can post it on craigslist.. as well as taking it to any woman's shelter.. maybe even daycare centers, as backup things. not sure if they will accept them tho. good luck. and your dad sounds like an ass. why even bother answering the phones when he calls, or even acknowledging him as dad? i had a friend who's mom chose her boyfriend over him.. they- bf and son- got in a fight, cops were called and the mom said that the son started it/deserved it, when in truth the bf was hitting the mom, the son tried to stop it and then the bf turned his anger on the kid-- well, he was like 16 or 17 at the time. but from that point on- he's 24 now, his mom has been known as "jackie"- the mom's real name
I had a father like that gorwing up. Except me and my sisters would go years without seeing him. He did the same gf crap. I finally quit taking his calls, didn't want to meet anyone. Didn't want anything to do with him. He didn't know my children at all. had only seen them a few times. You could do what I did, either don't take his calls, or tell him you don't want to "meet" any other gf h wants to bring over. I can tell you a passive person. You gotta stop that, its not healthy. fyi: My father had a stroke 5 yrs ago and demanded we take care of him, lol..NOPE. we set him up to take care of himself, if he can't, he can go into a nursing him. This is my moto; If you weren't related, would they be your friend??? Chin up, you can say what you feel! and probably feel better once you said it!!
Maybe he doesn't know how to act. To him this might be acceptable. Have you ever tried talking to him? My dad was definatly no father of the year, he had his issues and we had our differences. But sitting at his funeral back in August after not speaking to him for 4 years, i realized that he didn't know better. I had never talked to him and told him how I felt and how his actions hurt me. Now looking back I would give ANYTHING for him to have met my youngest 2 dd's. I would love to be able to sit down and say look dad this is what is up, this is what I need from you as a father. But I will never get that chance. I have done and fucked that up. Honestly I think you are being a selfish brat. He tried, he came by. He brought his girlfriend not to wave her in front of you but to have you accept her and for her to meet you. Find somewhere to drop all the "crap" off. Maybe a local woman's shelter. I am sure plenty of woman and children there who don't have a father much less a pot to piss in would appreciate the "cheap dollar store stuff." You should feel blessed that you even have a father. Everybody makes jistakes and he still has time to fix his. Must be nice to be you have have perfection oozing out of your ass.
I would not keep anything centain family members give me either, So I understand, and agree with below.
Quoting randi1978:
Do you have a battered women's shelter in your area? If so, that is one place you can take it. Or even a local church that helps expectant moms get stuff needed for baby.
Sometimes we have to bite our lip when it comes to un-needed or un-necessary gifts - and just say THANK YOU!
I would regift it or donate it. In my case I say regift because I know alot of needy moms that I am close with that could use items like that. I rarely donate to places because I know alot of people first hand that are needy... So if you do as well maybe you can pass those items along, someone out there maybe eternally grateful!
Quoting randi1978:
Do you have a battered women's shelter in your area? If so, that is one place you can take it. Or even a local church that helps expectant moms get stuff needed for baby.
CafeMom Featured Groups! Which groups do you recommend?
- First_One_8_18
on Nov. 28, 2009 at 1:30 AM