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I dont understand.. how do u lose a baby this far along? what do i say? UPDATE 12/4

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:46 PM
  • 34 Replies

Bless her heart and soul my sister lost her baby today.. she was about 7 months along. i dont know what to say to her.  she and dh have been trying to have a baby for so long. Two years almost. we have all been so happy and excited for her.Tyler was going to be her first baby. She has wanted to be amom for as long as i can remember... 

i just dont know what to do. what do i say to someone who has lost a child? the worse part about it is she has to stay pregnant for two more days. she goes in for delivery on thursday. She wont talk to us. What can i do? i cant think.. my nephew is gone. 

Can anyone help me with how to approach her with sympathies. i dont want to upset her further. should i just leave her alone until she is ready?

 

I have taken everything u all have said to heart. i will do my best to be there for her as much as possible and still give her time alone.  Thank you for everyones kindness. Cafemom is a wonderful place.

 

I am currently at the hospital with my mom and family. My sister is getting some rest. She is started on the pills to send her into labor. they did one last ultrasound just to make sure and yes, tyler is gone. my heart is broken for her. this is not how life should be.  we believe she will have him in the morning or afternoon sometime. and then she will spend time with dh and tyler. and an fyi, her husband has been so strong and supportive of her i have no idea what this would be like without him.  i am so terrified of whats to come. all my love for my beautiful sister.

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MsDean
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:47 PM

Bump, I wouldn't know what to say either. Sorry for you and your family's loss.

iamcafemom83
by Rah-Rah on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:48 PM

give her and dh some time to grieve. just be there for her when she's ready to talk. and listen to her. and cry! so sorry for her loss.

NEWMOMOF1
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:50 PM

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO LOST HER DAUGHTER AT 7 MONTHS ALSO.

Chrystal_A
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:51 PM

Heres what Id do:

Turn off the pc.Call your husband or some one who can sit with your children whos not really related to your sister.Go to her house,help her pack her belongings,make her dinner run her a bath what ever she needs done do it.And then when it comes time to deliver be there and cry with her.

crysjuls
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:52 PM

i think she just needs to grieve for a while one her own.  maybe just make sure she knows that you are there for her when she is ready to talk about it.  i'm so sorry.  i had a miscarriage in march, and we had also been trying for 2 yrs.  it's a very hard thing to go through, but knowing that family is there means so much.


alexa_n_mommy
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:52 PM

Let her know you are there for her and then step back for a while and let her grieve.

marshsmom
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:52 PM

Maybe you could send her a text or an email to let her know your there for her and your thinking of her.  She will probably need some help, as usually there is a funeral and all when a baby is lost this far along so be sure to let her know your there and willing to help her in anyway.

Breena
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:53 PM

im sorry

marmie41
by Silver Member on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:53 PM

I lost mine at 6 months.   There really isn't anyting  you can say, just let her know that you are thinking of her and praying for her and you are here when she needs to talk.  

I didn't want to speak with any of my family or close friends right after it happened   because I didn't want to keep telling people what happened. It hurt to much.

Hugs to you and sis.  

 

Emmysmom222
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 5:54 PM

I'm so very sorry for your family's loss, I wouldn't know what to say either. I agree with the poster who said to go will her, I know from personal experience it's not about what you say sometimes but the things you do that can make all the difference in the world. My thoughts are with you all!

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