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All SAHM's Please Read And Respond

Posted by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:00 PM
  • 84 Replies

Now I am a SAHM for right now because I haven't been able to find a job, still looking though every day. When I worked before, I still had to clean and cook most everything for my hubby and my family even though I sometimes didn't get off work until 8 or 9. So, now that I am at home, I try and clean and cook every day. I can get my kids to help me clean, but his daughter does not. Every time I get the house clean, everyone destroys it. They leave things all over the floor, spill drinks and crumbs, leave dishes by the sink instead of rinsing them. So after a while I am pretty much just cleaning the same room all the time trying to get the house back in order ( they destroy it so quickly that I'm constantly starting over and it gets so stressfull and depressing). Now, my DH has said in no uncertain terms that it is my job to take care of the house because he pays the bills. So, when he comes home, he plants his butt in front of the computer or the couch or lays down and doesn't move except to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom. I get overwhelmed with everything that has to be done here. We were supposed to have Thanksgiving here but I couldn't catch up fast enough and noone would help. So, here is my question-----Because you are the SAHM does that give him the right to completely not help at all? I see so many women whos DH's help them out even though they work 8 hours a day. Let me know, because this just drives me insane on a daily basis. Thanks.

by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MsDean
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:04 PM

I am a SAHM but dh dies help out far more than he really should That beign said I feel like during the week I should do most of the cleaning and he maybe should wash some dishes and give the kids a bath. On weekends I think it should be 50/50 of course this is if your dh works Mon-Fri and has weekends off. Basically split in half on days off and workdays SAHM should do most of it.

aturner75
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:05 PM

 I know how you feel, I am totally new to being a mom and sahm to boot. I was use to cleaning and all that before I became a mom and now it seems like there is so much more now, but I think it has to do with that we are here more and see more. My DH doesnt help me unless I ask him, and if I ask it takes him forever to do it almost to the point where it takes him so long that I may end up doing it myself. I think that we do alot by just taking care of the children and the house should be a joint effort since we are not the only ones who mess it up. I mean we have children we arent suppose to marry them..lol

Just_Bethy
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:06 PM

Sorry I am not help...I believe its nmy job to do all the cooking and cleaning etc..He works 12 hours a day right now ...7 days a week...I don't want him coming home and having to work more...But He does help me out when I am sick...Yesterday he got in 17 hours can came home did laundry and tidied up as I am so sick right now...I hate that he did it though...

 


Drillers Wife, Toughest Job In The Oil Field.

.KittyD.
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:08 PM

If you dont vaca or time off neither should he... just saying...

KittyD

Orionsgirl
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:08 PM

When I worked full time I took 100% care of the house. Now that I am a SAHM I still take 100% care of the house. My husband's job is to go to work, come home, and do nothing. Do I always think it's fair? NO. But that's how it is.

xmas

lvnmylif
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:08 PM

It's a bit of an adjustment when you first start staying at home.  Many people make the transition with little problems and some don't.  In your case I would have a big problem with all of that.  You are not the house maid/hand servant you are the mother.  Yes you should do the majority of the house work because you are not going to work but that does not mean your husband doesn't have a responsibility to help out.  I would simply sit down with him and work out a compromise.  I wouldn't put up with that from my DH but he doesn't expect to be waited on hand and foot either.

mommyoftwo395
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:09 PM

We are a team...Always have been always well be.  To my husband he say's I work harder than he.  And he tells me how thankful he is with all I do for our family.  If I need help with something all I have to do is ask him and he is up and helping me out.  He knows the sooner the household work get's done the more family time we have.  I feel so blessed to have the hubby I have... 


May the Joy of the Holidays be with you and your family...

1andonlysarissa
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:10 PM

I'm a SAHM and love it but sometimes it does get overwhelming and i understand where you are coming from, my fiance helps when he comes home sometime or he will get on his xbox and watch me clean lol but he does do his part by paying bills and etc but you better believe if i get to stressed he IS helping me lol

iam a 19 year old stay at home, spoiling my daughter every second i


get, cooking and cleaning, boo boo kissing,afternoon nap taking, fiance to dijun, proud beautiful mommy to a boss baby princess


named genesis a'nye and loving every minute of it :-)

Trinity0820
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:10 PM

 When my dh worked, I would clean a lil and he was such a picky eater that I had to wait until he got home to figure out what he wanted... He hasnt worked in a few years. Two actually. But now that I am preggo he lets me sleep. We were at an agreement, that if he worked or starts to work again, I will take care of the kids, and clean when I can... But our kids come first cleaning and cooking second.

CafeMom Tickers
CafeMom Tickers
jilltruj369
by on Dec. 1, 2009 at 11:12 PM

I stay home and when my husband gets home from work things are split 50/50.  We also try to give each other breaks.  He gets seven days off in a row each month so on one of those days I take the kids so he can get a break and another day he takes the kids so I can get a break.  I feel like things are split as evently as possible with us.

I do always do the laundry (b/c I can't stand the way he folds things) and he works on things around the house that is the only thing we don't share but I feel like things are even.

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