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For women whose children have a stepmom...

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 1:12 AM
  • 26 Replies

Are you nice to your child's stepmother?

I've been w/ DH for over 7 years now. His son was 10 months old when we got together. BM is still a bitch to me and I don't understand why! I don't like her, but I'm as nice as possible when I do see her because I respect that she is the mother of my husbands child. I'm really pissed off about it. I went to pick up SS for my DS birthday party (this was arranged by DH since he had to work and wouldn't be attending the party & I wanted SS to be there) She opened the door and I said hello, and asked how she's been...she completely ignored me and shut the door on us. I think that's setting a bad example and I think after 7 years she could at least be courteous. I was curious how other BMs interact w/ stepmoms and if this is the norm.

Just a sidenote, she walked out on DH and we got together after they had split. So I was not involved in their split at all.

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 1:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BronxBommaMomma
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 1:27 AM

Bump...anyone?

JustMe0326
by Platinum Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 1:37 AM

 My son has a step mom...and I'm also the step mom of two little girls.

I think it's different for everyone. I get along with the girl's bm quite well. She's getting a little out of hand lately but I let my fiance deal with that. I don't stick my nose in it.

My ex's wife though....we get along a lot better than we used to. She didn't have that same idea that I have with the girls' mom. She likes to stick her nose in where it doesn't belong...she was a part of mine and my ex's split..she got pregnant 2 mo after we split..no where near the end of our divorce...and she liked to send me all kinds of nasty text messages saying that I was a bad mother and that she was more of a mother to my child than I am. None of which is true. And that DID NOT sit well with me. I have a whole journal of bad things that she liked to pull on me.

Like I said, it's different with everyone.

Jennifer63080
by Platinum Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 1:37 AM

I am a stepmom, so I had to open this :-)

We've been together for 7 years, got together after she left.....and my dh's ex wife is the same way, from day one, but I know her reasons,

it's 50% PURE JEALOUSY and 50% she's a RAGING PSYCHO. lol, sad but true, and kids are the ones who suffer....some people can't move on and get over it. And some people just have so much unresolved animosity towards their ex, that it leaks over onto you too.


cuddlebunnymom
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:17 AM

I've only ever talked to one of my kids dad's girlfriend well was wife but they got divorced.  Now they go to his house every summer and it's a new one every time.  So i haven't talked to any of them.  But the one i did talk to we got along pretty good.  A little side note though he lives 12 hours away so i'm not too worried about any of his girlfriends lol

MaeHamMomma
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:29 AM

I try to be kind to my children's step mother, but she always has this weird condescending attitude towards me. It also seems like she wants to be the one running things.

Like if something is going on with my kids she expects me to call her to and to her about it rather then talking to my ex about it. She also tries to handle all the child support and visitation issues.

I tell her and my ex all the time that I did not have kids with her, I had kids with him. I WILL NOT discuss my children's every detail with her. (IE visitation and child support, IMO none of her business. My custody agreement is with him, not her) I prefer to avoid her.  But I am not that lucky. *sigh*

I wish we could all get along, but they seem set on keeping things bitter and spiteful. Which is dumb and pointless IMO.

ACMZ
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:32 AM

I have been with my hubby 10 years and my SS was 6 months old when we got together. My SS's BM left my hubby when my SS was 3 months old. She has always been real rude to me and hates me but, don't really know me well, despite all she has said and done throughout these past 10 years I stayed respectful to her and just avoided conflict well, she just recently too my hubby's parental rights away she waited until she knew we could not fight her in court due to money being tight. We have 3 kids together and done everything we could but, being that her new hubby's family has lots of money she took advantage of the situation and too all our rights, visitation and etc. away from us and it broke all of our hearts but, all she has to say to it is oh well he has a new father now and don't need us in his life. Also, she says my kids are not good enough for my SS to be around. Even though my kids make straight A's in school and never get into any trouble at school and etc. I think some people are just heartless. I always tried to not take it to heart how she treated me and my kids but, now I just hate her with a passion. She has already changed my SS's last name in the same month she took our rights and she braggs about it to everyone everywhere even online!! I have NO respect for her or anyone who is friends with her (including my hubby's sister who supported her through all of this because they are best friends) and I have no respect for anyone who supported/helped her. There is so much more to this story about bad things she done over the years but, that pretty much sums it all up to the shortest that I could. I wish everyone who has someone like this in their life the best of luck and just watch your back!

=(

( `•.¸╬Merry Christmas
`•.¸ )♥¸.•¸.•*¨) And Happy New Year
___________♥ Joy
__________♥♥ Love
_________♥♥♥♥ Hope
________♥♥♥♥♥♥ Faith
_______♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Peace
______♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Health
♥¸.•¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´♥╬Blessings & Love.


Happy Holidays -- ACMZ =)

msmoody
by Ruby Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:38 AM

My step-son's biomom has become one of my closest friends in the past 16 years. I was by her side when she remarried..she was by my side when I gave birth to my son. I don't know what I'd do without her :) 

ACMZ
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:39 AM


Quoting JustMe0326:

 My son has a step mom...and I'm also the step mom of two little girls.

I think it's different for everyone. I get along with the girl's bm quite well. She's getting a little out of hand lately but I let my fiance deal with that. I don't stick my nose in it.

My ex's wife though....we get along a lot better than we used to. She didn't have that same idea that I have with the girls' mom. She likes to stick her nose in where it doesn't belong...she was a part of mine and my ex's split..she got pregnant 2 mo after we split..no where near the end of our divorce...and she liked to send me all kinds of nasty text messages saying that I was a bad mother and that she was more of a mother to my child than I am. None of which is true. And that DID NOT sit well with me. I have a whole journal of bad things that she liked to pull on me.

Like I said, it's different with everyone.

Yea, I have been called a bad mom and etc. by several of my hubbys family and girlfriends while we was seperated and while we was together which is not true and I am a 100% better mom than the ones who call me a bad mom so, I can relate with you on that.

( `•.¸╬Merry Christmas
`•.¸ )♥¸.•¸.•*¨) And Happy New Year
___________♥ Joy
__________♥♥ Love
_________♥♥♥♥ Hope
________♥♥♥♥♥♥ Faith
_______♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Peace
______♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Health
♥¸.•¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´♥╬Blessings & Love.


Happy Holidays -- ACMZ =)

usmommie2383
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:44 AM

I assume someday my kids will have a step mom(Im in the process of a divorce).  And I will give her the benefit of a doubt. As I have to put faith in there father and trust his judgment. As I would hope he wouldnt bring anyone around our kids that would do them any harm.

However I know where your coming from. I have moved on with my life. As I have been going threw a divorce for over 2 years now. My SO, is just about to finalize his divorce. However she hates me. And to tell you the truth, everything that she has done to my SO. I cant stand her. But I keep my mouth shut because of their son.

Just this past week. We got into a argument. As my SO called to take to his son(Like clock work every night). She didnt pick up. She texted him a few seconds later. Telling my SO that there 3 year old son Told her "No Thanks" when she "tried" to hand him the phone. However its very common that she doesnt answer the phone when he calls. Even after she promised DSS when my SO deployed. As DSS was very upset that he couldnt see his dad. That my SO would call him when ever he could. Which was everyday. He got to speak to DSS 3 times, out of the whole time he was there.

Well anyways, I got fed up. I told her she needs to be thankful that DSS father wants to be involved in his life and such. She didnt like that. Well a few days later, My SO and her went down to file for divorce(they have been going threw a long divorce also).  She brought my SO now ex bestfriend with her. Who tried to get my SO to cheat with her while they were married(it didnt happen). Which she has no clue about.  Well they ambush him, yelling, screaming, and cussing at SO. Including after his ex found out that he wont be paying 1000 a month like he has been(This is not including the money she stopped paying on the house they bought together, so now its foreclosing, and his whole paychecks she was getting for the first 6 months they were split up*Which turns out to being 8 grand for the house, and 5000 a month for his paychecks* Ya, do the math..lol ). So she told him fine, you wont be seeing DSS, just because the courts lowered it by 500 a month. Well anyways, they ambushed him, started calling me names. Even though I wasnt there. And acting like a teen in high school.

Now she wants to talk with him this thursday about when we will be getting DSS. However I have a very bad feeling that its another ambush. So yes!! Ugh! I am not a fan of my DSS mother.

smcclure2005
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 5:39 AM

I personally do not talk to my daughter soon to be step mom. They have been together for 7 years.  I tried to give her a chance but she talks to much shit and tries to step where she just does not belong. I will only try 1 time if you then decide that you are better then I say F&^% you and go to HELL. I also do not talk to her dad. When he comes to get her (not step mom cause I will give that bitch a piece of my mind) I do not even say HI or go to hell I just give her to him and shut the door. I do not have to be friends with him or his girl. They are not my friend and I would not piss on either one of them if they were on fire. My daughter knows how I feel and she also knows that her relationship with her dad has nothing to do with me that is between the two of them. The only time I say anything is when his bitch tries to parent my daughter. If she would listen to her parent , me and not do stupid shit like take her shopping or to the movies when my daughter is failing all her classes then maybe I would look at her a little different. I only give 1 chance to an adult. You screw me once your fault you screw my twice my stupidity.

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