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What do you do?

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 5:56 AM
  • 7 Replies

What do you do when your grandmother won't let you live your life the way you want to? As of right now I have a 15 month old son who stays with my dad 4 nights a week because of my work schedule... My grandmother told me no when I told her I was going to have a friend of mine watch him on Wednesday nights and Thursday nights... She won't allow me to keep my son here instead of sending him there for 4 days a week... I told her I would still send him there on Friday and Saturday nights but I wanted him here and she started crying and saying no and telling me that I was to send my son to her house not to keep him here and let people watch him for me... Last I checked he was my son not hers but she is fighting with me about everything that has to do with my son... I don't get it... How can I do this without making her mad? She is also upset because she thinks my husband is going to take my son and leave the state... He took off a week ago because his daughter (who is 3 months old) got put into DCF custody because her mother did some stuff wrong... Not getting into full details he has been away in another state for 6 days now with no calls to see how our son is, took all the money we had for food, and just plain left without telling me anything which stranded me for a ride to and from work... I am REALLY mad at him... There is a lot on my mind right now and no one will let me live my life the way I want to... and no one will let me raise my son the way I want to... I am getting so fed up with everyone... What do I do... DO I divorce my husband because he took off for a week to "save" his daughter? Is he gonna keep blowing me and my son off? What can I do?

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 5:56 AM
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Replies (1-7):
chiquis
by Diamond Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 6:00 AM

No one can tell you what to do or whats right mama. Honestly if other people are helping you *live your life* or with the baby or whatever they will most likely butt in a lot. Sucks. I don't know how to go about that without upsetting her. Seems like no matter what it will upset her. And thats something you either live with or don't do.

About your hubby, sorry but I'd be PISSED OFF had that been done to me or my kid. I understand he had to go but no calls? No warning? Taking the money? His daughter IS important but so are you and the baby.

MommyToEthan
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 6:39 AM

he's your child - do what you want to do.     she should be happy that she's getting to watch him period. 

Do you have a BOY??   If so, come join us at RAISING BOYS!  It's a great group for mothers of boys of any age!  Hope to see you there!!   http://www.cafemom.com/group/336/

coug7099
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 6:51 AM

 Maybe it is time to sit down with Grandma and let her know that you appreciate her offers of help but that in the end he is your child and you need to make your own decisions. She could just be concerned for the safety of the child. Maybe she has a good reason to not think that leaving the baby with your friend is the best choice? Are you young? Is this your first child?

My grandmother told me no when I told her I was going to have a friend of mine watch him on Wednesday nights and Thursday nights... She won't allow me to keep my son here instead of sending him there for 4 days a week This comment is confusing. Do you live with your Dad or your Grandma? If you live with them that would explain why they feel it is their right to help you raise him.

As to your DH. IMO The fact that he went to help his daughter shows that he is a good Dad. It does stink that he took the food money but maybe he was just really worried and stressed and did not think the whole situation through. I would wait until he comes home then talk about what he did and see if you two can work it out. I would not jump to getting a dovorce over this.

grammarpolice
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 6:56 AM

Sounds like it's time to put some space between you & the family.

Your husband has a 3  MONTH OLD daughter, did I read that right? I'm confused - did you just get married? Or he had this daughter during your relationship? Either way, he was with another woman only 1 year ago, so your relationship can't be older than that, at most. Are you sure you can trust him? You don't sound very sure of him and his background info that you gave us is sketchy at best. 

lyrick24
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 6:58 AM

seems like for right now since your husband has basically left you you have to rely on your grandmother, as bad as you may not want to. but you may need her for other things as well. just let this pklay out for a while till you see what's going to happen and then start getting your life together. i would be wondering about my husbands loyalty at this point.

countrybaby89
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 7:53 AM


Quoting coug7099:

 Maybe it is time to sit down with Grandma and let her know that you appreciate her offers of help but that in the end he is your child and you need to make your own decisions. She could just be concerned for the safety of the child. Maybe she has a good reason to not think that leaving the baby with your friend is the best choice? Are you young? Is this your first child?

My grandmother told me no when I told her I was going to have a friend of mine watch him on Wednesday nights and Thursday nights... She won't allow me to keep my son here instead of sending him there for 4 days a week This comment is confusing. Do you live with your Dad or your Grandma? If you live with them that would explain why they feel it is their right to help you raise him.

As to your DH. IMO The fact that he went to help his daughter shows that he is a good Dad. It does stink that he took the food money but maybe he was just really worried and stressed and did not think the whole situation through. I would wait until he comes home then talk about what he did and see if you two can work it out. I would not jump to getting a dovorce over this.

I don't live with my family I moved out of town and they watch him while I am at work... I am 20 and this is my first child

countrybaby89
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 7:54 AM


Quoting grammarpolice:

Sounds like it's time to put some space between you & the family.

Your husband has a 3  MONTH OLD daughter, did I read that right? I'm confused - did you just get married? Or he had this daughter during your relationship? Either way, he was with another woman only 1 year ago, so your relationship can't be older than that, at most. Are you sure you can trust him? You don't sound very sure of him and his background info that you gave us is sketchy at best. 

We got married in April and have been together for 2 1/2 years he cheated on me and had a kid with someone else...

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