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babies and prison. *update. talked to dh*

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:31 AM
  • 45 Replies

dh's cousin got locked up about a year and a half ago. apparently they were really close when they were younger. his cousin, eric, hasn't seen ds yet and he wants to see him. the only problem is, dh got denied visitation because of some trouble he got into when he was younger. so my mil asks me if i'd go with her to visit eric and bring ds. and the only problem with that is i've never met eric. so that's already uncomfortable for me. i tell my mil that and she understands. a few weeks later she brings me a paper to fill out so that SHE can take ds to see eric (ds is only 11 months). i dont know if this is selfish of me or whatever, but i dont want her taking him to visit someone who's locked up. i dont even know if i want my son exposed to that at 11 freakin months! and for some stranger he and i have never met! no! am i wrong for feeling this way? should i be ok with letting my mil take ds to see eric? what would you do? and how would you tell mil no? thanks in advance mommas :)

update: i just got off the phone with dh and told him how i felt. he said "if you're uncomfortable with it then i'm uncomfortable with it." and that was for the mom who asked how dh felt about it lol. i told dh that when he got out, all 4 of us could go to lunch together and he can meet him that way. i dont know when i'll talk to my mil about it. for the other mom, i dont think she'll flip out when i tell her. she'll probably tell me what a nice place it is blah blah blah and try to talk me into agreeing. lol. she's evil. thanks mommas. :)


by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
southernjess3
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:32 AM

whats he locked up for??

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jillbailey26
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:35 AM

I'm sorry, but if anyone that is currently in jail would like to see any of my children, they would have to get out of jail first. 



brittneyon
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:36 AM

possession of cocaine and possession of a stolen firearm. i think anyways. idk if the cocaine was intent to sell or whatever. but dh has told me all about his cousin and all his drug problems.

Quoting southernjess3:

whats he locked up for??



kaidansmylife
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:36 AM

No no no no no, i dont think a child should ever be at a prison for any reason, not to see his/her  father/mother, let alone some person they dont know, thats crazy! but thats my opinion! You have to do what you think is right for your son, if your not comfortable with it dont let her take him! But me personally would never do it! if you want to see and know my child you shouldnt have been an idiot and landed yourself in prison!

 







southernjess3
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:37 AM

baby visiting drug addict?? nope...sorry..my baby would not be going..

Quoting brittneyon:

possession of cocaine and possession of a stolen firearm. i think anyways. idk if the cocaine was intent to sell or whatever. but dh has told me all about his cousin and all his drug problems.

Quoting southernjess3:

whats he locked up for??



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alwaysyoung
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:38 AM

bump

pluma69
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:38 AM

Well for me it would depend on what exactly he was locked up for.... and your son is only 11 months so i would feel that it wouldn't really "harm" him any way, but i would definitly go with and not allow her to take ds by herself... I would have top be there so i can be in control of the situation and know that he is ok.

But that is just my opinion, i do understand where the other ladies are comming from also.

Kays_Mama06
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:39 AM

Ehh I wouldn't. I mean they both have their whole lives to see each other. I wouldn't let my MIL take my son anywhere without me being there... And if I felt uncomfortable with the overall situation? That's a definite no. Be it jail or church.

Why is she so wanting to take the baby with her? Do you have an idea?



Villanelle83
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:39 AM

I wouldn't take my child there!!! I would NEVER let anyone else take them there!!! I can't believe that anyone would even suggest that!!! If it were the case of something stupid happening to a family member we are already very close to, and it were a minimum security type thing, I might consider it, but probably wouldn't even go then. It raises too many safety issues, confusion for the child, etc. No way would they go without me, over my dead body... Wow... Get out of jail and then decide if you want to be a part of their life IF you've cleaned up your act! Until then, send pictures!!!

brittneyon
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:40 AM

i guess because eric is wanting to see him. thats all she's told me. and i know she's a proud grandma but...i am uncomfortable with it. i dont even know this man. and he's definitely not someone i would associate myself with.

Quoting Kays_Mama06:

Ehh I wouldn't. I mean they both have their whole lives to see each other. I wouldn't let my MIL take my son anywhere without me being there... And if I felt uncomfortable with the overall situation? That's a definite no. Be it jail or church.

Why is she so wanting to take the baby with her? Do you have an idea?



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