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The pic I found on my daughters phone....EDITED IN RED *****swearing in the replies***** lol

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:10 PM
  • 72 Replies

My daughter hasnt had her phone in 7 months for good reasons.I didnt even want her to have one in the first place (long story about my mom who is trying to be a friend to a 13 yr old and who doesnt care about my rules or wishes).I was never planning on giving it back, and I just tucked it away cause the plan that my mom has is running out.Anyways, somehow she found her phone and found my vibrator.She took a pic of my vibrator and saved it on her phone! I dont know what to do about this.I asked her why and she said she was bored.It was very uncomfortable!I also told her that Im going to destroy the phone.

Please respond in a kind and helpful manner.I dont need you to tell me I made any mistakes by giving my daughter a phone and so on.you dont need to point out the obvious.The damage has been done, I need to know where to go from here.No need to make me feel any worse than I already do..thanks

The phone was taken away 7 months ago.I was never planning on giving it back.She was not allowed to use it anymore.She found it in my bedroom where it was hidden.I am now destroying the phone.

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
randi1978
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:12 PM

Carry thru with your threat and destroy the phone.  Or, delete everything off of it, remove the sim card and donate it to a battered women's shelter.  Hide the BOB in another place.  If grandma can't abide by your wishes, maybe you need to restrict her access to your daughter.

My dd is only 6, so I am far from anything like this right now.  But this is the best advice I can give. 

stefvan
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:12 PM

I don't think you made a mistake by letting her have a phone.  My 13 year old has one.  The mistake, IMO, was that your dd even knows you have a vibrator.  I would let her know it wasn't appropriate to take that kind of picture and ask if she wants to talk about seeing that.  I can just imagine was a 13 yr girl would think seeing a vibrator. 

tigerlillyt7
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:14 PM

oh, its restricted! We used to live with her, not anymore!

Quoting randi1978:

Carry thru with your threat and destroy the phone.  Or, delete everything off of it, remove the sim card and donate it to a battered women's shelter.  Hide the BOB in another place.  If grandma can't abide by your wishes, maybe you need to restrict her access to your daughter.

My dd is only 6, so I am far from anything like this right now.  But this is the best advice I can give. 


Trisha-Faye
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:16 PM

my response stands.  You need to get both of you into family counseling. 

Punishment,etc is only leading to more and worse rebellion..and this will continue and worsen.

I am always amazed at how the Bible, that portrays my Lord embracing the outcasts, touching the lepers, welcoming the Samaritans, not judging the woman taken in the act of adultery, and inviting 'all of ye,' not 'some of ye,' to 'come unto me,' can, in the hands of a few distorted people be turned into a book of hatred, violence and judgment."  J.S. Spong

Liberal Catholic, pro-choice, anti-bigotry, refusing to stand silent and complicit, 30 yrs married, mom of 4, grandma of 2(and one to be).
myfoursonsks
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:16 PM

 At least it wasn't a real penis.  I found out my son sent a pic of his penis to a girl.  He was like, "everyone does it"...jeesh.  I wasn't too happy.

Kids will do stuff just because they think it is funny.  It doesn't surprise me that she took a pic of a vibrator.  For a teen, it is a funny thing to have a pic of.  I don't think she thought about how this may embarrass you.  It was just there so she took a pic.

Just keep the phone away from her until she shows more responsibility.

tigerlillyt7
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:16 PM

just whos mistake was it? The vibrator is hidden in my room where she has no business.She wouldnt have "known" if she wasnt snooping around in my private bedroom. UGH

Quoting stefvan:

I don't think you made a mistake by letting her have a phone.  My 13 year old has one.  The mistake, IMO, was that your dd even knows you have a vibrator.  I would let her know it wasn't appropriate to take that kind of picture and ask if she wants to talk about seeing that.  I can just imagine was a 13 yr girl would think seeing a vibrator. 


natannasmom
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:16 PM


Quoting stefvan:

I don't think you made a mistake by letting her have a phone.  My 13 year old has one.  The mistake, IMO, was that your dd even knows you have a vibrator.  I would let her know it wasn't appropriate to take that kind of picture and ask if she wants to talk about seeing that.  I can just imagine was a 13 yr girl would think seeing a vibrator. 


I think at the age of 13 they should know right from wrong and not go searching through someone elses personal belongings. I didn't know you had to keep them in a safe and locked up at all times. I think IMO phones are a bad thing unless they are used for one soul purpose and that is in case of an emergency. I think the texting and photo's that can be sent by a 13yr old and older kids is ridiculous. If she does have a phone make sure she can only make local calls to you or family. I would def. give the phone back to her grandmother and just let her know going through your stuff is a violation of your privacy.

raegansmom
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:17 PM

As I said yesterday when this was posted.  Ground the daughter from EVERYTHING, take a sledgehammer to the damn phone, and have a nice long talk with your mother.

SpiritFortress
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:18 PM

I would let her know that she violated your privacy and I'd take away the phone. I would let her know that when she's more mature she can have a phone that takes pics. Until then, if she needs a phone, make sure it can't take pictures.

tigerlillyt7
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:18 PM

this is the only thing that has happened (misusing the phone) otherwise I really dont have any problems with her.I keep a close eye on her.She cant go anywhere w/o me, and can only have friends over at our house.I really dont see the need for counseling.

Quoting Trisha-Faye:

my response stands.  You need to get both of you into family counseling. 

Punishment,etc is only leading to more and worse rebellion..and this will continue and worsen.


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