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NEED TO VENT

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:07 PM
  • 6 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Keep him away or not?

Options:

Yes

No

I think there is another option


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Total Votes: 10

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I'm sorry I need to vent before I blow up!

I am absolutley 100% done with my stepdad. I have been extemely leinent with his because he watches my ds during the day.
He always underminds what I say in regards to my son. When I asked him to have him sleep in his own bed over there (yes they have a bed for him) so it will be easier when he comes home, he ignored me. When I asked to have him in bed by a certain time, he ignored it. Well you get the point. I put a previous post a few weeks ago about having potty training issues. My ds was 98% trained then my SD stopped reminding him and he started to regress. He stated he wouldn't clean up any more messes so I have kept him with us for a week and a half. Well my SD wanted him so he went over I called to check on him this evening and he stated he had 5 accidents today and he was not potty trained. Mind you here he had 1 accident in a week and a half. So I told him fine we would keep him till fully trained. Now hes saying I am hurting my son by keeping him away and that I need to be an adult, etc. etc. and that I need to watch what I say to him because he watches him for us. I'M FED UP! I don't want to keep my son away from his grandpa but I also do not want to be underminded as the parent.
URRGG! I already appologized to my mom (she is being neutral) about the whole thing. I hate having to keep my DS away from him but I see no other alternative.

Edit** I do not mean take him away never see him again. I mean stop him from watching him for us and limit him staying/going over there.

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:07 PM
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Replies (1-6):
aruhl
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:25 PM

I don't think my son is afraid of him he LOVES being over there, but I also think that is because he knows there are no rules or hardly any when he is there.
Thank you very much for the support though I do believe you are correct in your method that is exactly what I was thinking I am going to do. 


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teri4lance
by Platinum Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:27 PM

why not just invite sdad over to your place to hang out with the kid?


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allyson2212
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:30 PM

I deal with this with my Mom. No rules, just "yes yes yes" while my kids are over there. And the potty training too with my 2 year old. Its frustrating, and I have almost come to the point to where I kept them away from her, but I have to look at the joy that it brings them, and realize that her parents did the same thing when I was a kid. As long as you are still being a good mother, then it shouldnt matter TOO MUCH about what the grandparents are doing. It will make it more difficult, I know! But they need their grandparents just as much as their grandparents need them. Maybe try to find a happy medium, like you will put pull ups on and just ask that they remind him as often as they can. Hope this helps! 

ninajo
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:32 PM

I was thinking what the other reply just said. There is a point between,NEVER allowing him to go over to grandpa's and him being the sitter. It is too hard on the child to take him away altogether. So try for the child's sake not to have to do that. IF that ends up being the only way try to work it in slowly,its very hard losing someone they love.  Good Luck  NinaJo

aruhl
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:35 PM

he has been up to this point watching him during the day so that I can go to the office w/ my DH and work. Its not a matter of casually seeing him every so often. Plus my sdad would not come here just to see him for a bit. He either wants to take him or nothing.

Quoting teri4lance:

why not just invite sdad over to your place to hang out with the kid?


aruhl
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:42 PM


Quoting ninajo:

I was thinking what the other reply just said. There is a point between,NEVER allowing him to go over to grandpa's and him being the sitter. It is too hard on the child to take him away altogether. So try for the child's sake not to have to do that. IF that ends up being the only way try to work it in slowly,its very hard losing someone they love.  Good Luck  NinaJo

Currently we have been "blessed" with a sitter sitution that most parents wish for and we have been VERY greatfull for that.
My SD wants him CONSTANTLY, he watches him during the day, and then wants him to spend the night often. I am thinking of stopping that. Not having him watch him during the day (we don't HAVE to have someone to it just helps out and he wants him) and limiting him staying there. But until my SD decides to stop ignoring my rules for my ds him not be there. I dont think my rules are that much, have him in bed no later then 9, remind him to use the potty, have him sleep in his own bed there, dont feed him mcdonalds everyday. All of which are ignored. I've spoken w/ my mom before and my DS who turned 3 in OCT has been up still at 1130 multiple times.

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