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EVERY F---ING DAY OF MY LIFE.....Would you try to help if you knew someone was being abused? **EDIT WITH VIDEO**

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:06 PM
  • 56 Replies

I am watching a documentary called Every F--king day of my life on HBO. It is about this woman who was being abused by her husband almost daily for 20 years. He told her about fantasies about wanting to be a serial killer. Then on the night he died neighbors called the cops because they heard fighting and the cops came asked if she was okay and left. Then she killed him with a hammer with the assistance with her eldest son. She didn't try to hide it in anyway shape or form. she turned herself in right away. And said she just wanted her kids to be safe.

What gets to me though is everyone around her admitted to knowing that she was being abused. I don't understand why no one tried to help her out. I mean I get that people are scared i get that but. If you talk to the right people things can be fixed. cant they? The system cant be that screwed right. I am in shock right now sorry.

BTW She and her Eldest son are in Prison. She was sentenced to 10 years and her 17 yr old son was sentenced to 6.  Her three younger boys i believe are with thier grandmother.

 

 

 

800-799-safe

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by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kk_bella
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:13 PM

Wow.

Yes, I would try to help...in some way...I don't know that I could do much, but I would try to help.

An old friend of mine used to live in these apartments and her upstairs neighbors fought all the time and we constantly heard him beating her. It was horrible. Sometimes it would go on for hours.

The first time I was there and heard it, i asked what was going on. I made a joke that it sounded like someone was getting their ass beat upstairs and everyone just kind of looked at me like "uh...yeah." So I went outside and just started screaming and screaming. I wasn't saying anything specific, just a lot of obscenities. It worked, he stopped long enough to come outside and see what was going on.And I got the cops called out there because it was midnight and I was being REALLY LOUD.

That sick motherfucker used to come downstairs when he was done and try to hang out with us. He flirted with me one time. There were even COPS that lived in that apartment complex. They didn't live right next door, but....you could hear it.

Kizbee
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:16 PM

I would try to help.  But sometimes the person being abused doesn't want help.  Sad.

Arlyah
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:16 PM

Sometimes, I don't think there is much you can do unless the woman is actually willing to leave the guy.

La parfaite valeur est de faire sans témoin ce qu'on serait capable de faire devant tout le monde. 

mrsjones2207
by Platinum Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:19 PM

if she wanted help Id try to help her but I would deffinately want to help tho kids.

Aislinn
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:21 PM

 I have come to realize, after dealing with a close friend who was in a mutually abusive relationship, that unless they want help, most of the time it is futile. Did that stop me from doing everything in my power to help and stop the abuse? Nope, but it opened my eyes to the mental state of abuse victims. They are, in sorts, like alcoholics. You can beg, plead, drag them away, but unless they WANT help, a lot of times they will end up repeating their mistakes. Sad, but true. I remember my thoughts on abuse victims before I dealt with a close friend being abused. The " Why don't hey just leave" " They must choose this lifestyle", you know, all the typical BS stereotypes of abuse victims. Then my best friend wen through it and everything I *thought* I knew flew out the window... :(

Angee3Monkeys
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:23 PM

Maybe they tired and she refused? I didn't watch the documentary so, I don't know if anyone actually tried to help but, I know I would. 

Arlyah
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:24 PM

Agreed.

Quoting Aislinn:

 I have come to realize, after dealing with a close friend who was in a mutually abusive relationship, that unless they want help, most of the time it is futile. Did that stop me from doing everything in my power to help and stop the abuse? Nope, but it opened my eyes to the mental state of abuse victims. They are, in sorts, like alcoholics. You can beg, plead, drag them away, but unless they WANT help, a lot of times they will end up repeating their mistakes. Sad, but true. I remember my thoughts on abuse victims before I dealt with a close friend being abused. The " Why don't hey just leave" " They must choose this lifestyle", you know, all the typical BS stereotypes of abuse victims. Then my best friend wen through it and everything I *thought* I knew flew out the window... :(


La parfaite valeur est de faire sans témoin ce qu'on serait capable de faire devant tout le monde. 

OxbAbIebxO
by Gold Member on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:24 PM

Yeap. You can't help someone who isn't willing. I have a friend who calls me with thesse kinds of problems and I give her a million and one things she can do but she never listens. I had to tell her to just stop calling about it because I don't need the added drama in my life. I feel bad but it gets old when you feel like you are talking to a brick wall. banging head into wall

Quoting Aislinn:

 I have come to realize, after dealing with a close friend who was in a mutually abusive relationship, that unless they want help, most of the time it is futile. Did that stop me from doing everything in my power to help and stop the abuse? Nope, but it opened my eyes to the mental state of abuse victims. They are, in sorts, like alcoholics. You can beg, plead, drag them away, but unless they WANT help, a lot of times they will end up repeating their mistakes. Sad, but true. I remember my thoughts on abuse victims before I dealt with a close friend being abused. The " Why don't hey just leave" " They must choose this lifestyle", you know, all the typical BS stereotypes of abuse victims. Then my best friend wen through it and everything I *thought* I knew flew out the window... :(



I'm a "don't give a fuck what you think of my parenting style" kind of mom.

punkmama27
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:26 PM

I would do everything in my power to help someone who was/is being abused. However, sometimes people just don't want to be helped and there's nothing you can do. Hindsight is 20/20, but in the here and now, it's not so easy to discern what is the right and wrong decision. Sometimes... the abused person has to pick themselves up and accept the help, want the help, before anything can change.

And I also would not put my family in jeopardy. If my family was put in danger because I was trying to help the abused person (ie the abuser was threatening me and MY family), I would not help. My family comes first. Selfish? Maybe, but I don't care.  

CafeMom TickersCafeMom Tickers
ready_for2
by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:26 PM

in that 20 years SHE did not try to get help??? maybe thats why.... its kinda hard to help someone if they are unwilling to even help themselves. she may have been offered help. many times ppl in abusive relastionships are offered help and will not take it and will not leave!!

instead they wait around for something like this to happen. they wait until it goes too far and one of them ends up dead...

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