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please.. i need your help.

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:57 AM
  • 14 Replies

I need help, advice, tips.

My life is chaos right now, and i am sure my depression is making it feel even more out of control.

I'm living from support check to support check and getting FS. Everything was fine before i got laid off - we are supposed to be hired back in early spring.

I am pregnant and my son is 2 1/2.

My house is constantly a mess, i never have the energy or will to clean it.. no matter how much i cant stand looking at it.. i don't have enough room for my stuff. By time the end of the month comes, i run out of money for food. I need tips on organization, meal planning, money planning anything. I feel like a mess. I am always tired, i have some type of disorder when it comes to that. Me and my son stay up until like 3 am, and sleep till noon. I don't know how to get off of this schedule.

I want to be able to wake up early, clean and get dressed and have him dressed, and the day planned, and on a schedule.. i dont want to live this way anymore.

How? How do i do it?

thanks.


crying

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
asokro32
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 2:59 AM

anyone?

pearlmom
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:04 AM

Wow!! Sorry to know that you are dealing with all of this momma. I have no clue what to tell you. But the best thing you can do is try to be a little more positive for your sake and the little ones too. When you are tired and depressed everything is so much harder. And I know this for a fact. Things are very hard for everybody. Tough times doesn't last forever but strong people do ;) Try stick on simple easy meals for you and your little one. You need to try to sleep your 8 hours and get the benefit of the first hours of each day and the little one needs the same. Sorry If I am not helping so much. Good luck momma feel free to pm me if you need to talk ;)

asokro32
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:05 AM

i really would like to start something new.. by time next week starts.. so ASAP pleasE!

sharisse
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:08 AM

Medicine! that works wonders.

peanut081981
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:10 AM

Aside from the young child (I have teenage stepchildren) I have been there. What works for me is little things. Like, the floor. I HATE my floor being dirty. If I get up the gumption to vacuum my floor, that will generally motivate me. Try that. Pick one that and MAKE yourself do it. I struggle with this as well, on a daily basis. So I understand. I am trying to teach myself to talk myself through depression rather than rely on meds. Hard. Lol. But I'm here. Pm me if you need to talk. I'm here. Also, try www.flylady.net. That was a HUGE help to me. Read it. The ENTIRE SITE. Lol. And you will be fine mama. Take it a day at a time. Pick one thing to do a day. If you start to have more energy, make it two, but don't punish yourself because you aren't doing it, or beat yourself up. Sure, you probably should do it, but so what? The world won't end because the dishes aren't done, or the house isn't clean. I promise. Deal with YOU. Go take a walk. Get out of the house. Then, when you get that feeling, like you just want to go SIT, get back OUT of the house again.


When DH was home I used to FORBID him to rake the leaves. That was my reason for leaving the house. Nothing hard, just something to do, and I didn't have to be around people. It really helped. Good luck sweety. You aren't alone.

Krystal

ArmyChica87
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:16 AM

One of the things you could try at least to help you get off of your current sleep schedule is actually what my DH had to do when he got back from Iraq.

When you stay awake until 3 try setting an alarm for the morning (one that you will definitly hear) say maybe start at 11am if you wake up around noon usually. Gradually you will stop going to sleep so late and start getting up earlier but still get your 8 hours of sleep that is required. Its a bit hard to start but you have to keep on it and it will start to pay off. Because your body will get used to the adjustment gradually.

I hope that at least helps somewhat.

As for running out of money, i'm on FS so i know there is only so much you get. What i've tried to do is plan out simple meals for us for the month. That way when i go shopping I can buy everything i need for that month at once and usually still have some extra for small things later on in the month. Its a bit challenging but once you get used to it, it works better then sparotic planning. There are actually sites that will have weekly menu suggestions and they will tell you what you need in order to make the meals for that week. Usually its very simple stuff. I would try getting ideas from maybe www.campbellkitchen.com and seeing how that helps.

I hope you get some ideas and i really hope i've maybe helped a little :)

Draysmommy
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:16 AM

become a couplon clipper!! lol

I have learned a lot when I finally started listening to my mom! You can get some awsome coupons online, that give you like 50 cents off, and then at my local kroger store they do double coupon days, which means you may get a 1.00 off a 2.00 item!! We live check to check and sometimes less! and it helps out so much!

And i hear you on the house work! I usually grab a walmart bag, and do the spot im sitting in, its not much, but it makes me feel like ive done something, which sometimes gets me to do more!!

And be positive!!! =)

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers
tam84
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:22 AM

I dont know how to help you because you said you dont have the will to do it. You can make a plan but if you dont want it bad enough then you wont do it. As far as meals and stretching your FS you can do meals that go a long way like Spaghetti. You can get a whole carton of spaghetti  noodles for a little over a dollar at Walmart and a large can of sauce for about the same. It will make several servings for you and a 2 yr old. Chicken is fairly cheap as well. You can usually get a large pack of drumsticks for less than $3. What I do is buy freezer bags and divide the chicken into portions of about 4 and freeze each bag. This way I can use each little bag for a different meal and I get about 3 meals from one package of chicken! Also rice comes pretty cheap by the bag and u can use it in several recipes. I dont know if you like turkey or not but ground turkey is cheaper than ground beef and you can use it in hamburger helper.  Some of this may not be stuff you want to feed your 2 year old but it can be cheap ideas for you so then you have more money to spend on what you do want to feed him. You can go through your stuff and use freecycle.com to donate anything you havent used in a while that may just be taking up space and making you feel like theres not enough room.

asil
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:29 AM

ha! this is what i was going to suggest!  coupon clipping will really make your FS go much further!  for example, this last week at my grocery store, i had around $115.00 worth of food stuff, after coupons it was only $22.00 (plus change).  On average I can save 50% on my grocery bill, with a family of 4, we get around $600 in FS (well, we aren't on them right now, but will be come next month and that is how much we will be getting).  So I figure I get stretch that into almost $1200 per month, which is just an obscene amount of food.

check out some groups that offer help... with couponing that is.  i belong to a few, and have one of my own, it's in my siggy. 

as for the schedule thing... not sure how to help you.  my girls go to bed around 11pm and sleep until 11am, with a 2 hour nap during the day.  i'm usually up until 3 or 4am... which works for us.  i don't see a need for us to change our schedule.  we still get up and shower and dress, we still make plans for the afternoon/evening.  Even if we just leave the house to go to the post office or grocery store, we make an event of it, we all go and get out.

i do agree with one of the PP however, if you want to start changing your schedule, start with when you wake up.  and do it gradually.  if I know that we have to be up at say... 9 am, i start a week before hand and set an alarm for 30 minutes earlier each day.  i try to get the girls to nap eariler, and to bed earlier.  but... no matter what we do, we often fall back into our same schedule, and i'm  okay with that.  just because you  have kids doesn't mean that 8am is the right time to be up.  i'm not and have never been a morning person, so...

do what feels best for you!

Quoting Draysmommy:

become a couplon clipper!! lol

I have learned a lot when I finally started listening to my mom! You can get some awsome coupons online, that give you like 50 cents off, and then at my local kroger store they do double coupon days, which means you may get a 1.00 off a 2.00 item!! We live check to check and sometimes less! and it helps out so much!

And i hear you on the house work! I usually grab a walmart bag, and do the spot im sitting in, its not much, but it makes me feel like ive done something, which sometimes gets me to do more!!

And be positive!!! =)


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kjms99
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 3:35 AM

AAAhhh honey Im sorry its so hard for you!!!! 

My first suggestion for you, is to find out if you need anti-depression meds. I had no clue I needed them untl I went to my dr about 12 years ago...and damn they helped....after that no matter what is going on you have to tell yourself, that your kids need you....the later you go to bed the later your gonna get up...thats just your body talking to you....for myself I take tylenolm PM every night otherwise I cant fall sleep.....you make the choice what works for you!!! 

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