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She comes over gets drunk and won't take her baby home...Then does..but not home :(

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:03 AM
  • 41 Replies
I ran into an old friend yesterday.She came over.We are not drinkers but our new years bar was still set up.I have an 18 month old dd.She has a 12month old ds.She is going through hard times with leaving an abusive boyfriend and staying with her folks.She asked if she could have a drink since it the first time she's had a chance in a while.I said ok and poured her two shots just two.My hubby and I weren't drinking and two shots was nothing.It was getting late so I sat the playpen in my babys room and put them in the room together(my dd has a crib) He did not want to sleep being in a new place.I began to take care of him too.Suddenly it was like she was totally drunk.I tried to get her son to sleep several times.Each time he would wake up my dd.At about midnight I said he needs to go home and sleep in his own bed.I began to get the car ready and brought the baby to her.My dd was sleeping in her crib.I told her I just layed my dd down the last time please don't take your ds in there.She looked right at me and started to walk to my dd room.I followed her to my babys room.I said u can't take him in there my dd sleeping.She says I'll lay next to the playpen.Getting mad I stood outside the door.Two second later she walks out and leaves him in there crying.I said what are you doing?? She said let him go.(I just got my dd asleep again and it's 1am.)She walks away down the hall so I go in to console her baby and mine again.Then I figured out she left and went outside.she didn't know I was in there with the kids.Finally I heard her come in I picked up both babys and came out and said you need to take your baby to his crib(she lives 2 blocks away And I do drive)it was his first time even being around me not to mention sleeping in a strange place.Well I guess she not suppose to be drinking that's the rule at her folks house.(she's 27 yrs old& I didn't know about her parents)By this time my dd was clinging to me and my grizzly bear of a hubby was most likely in our room with smoke coming out of his ears because he knows what that baby needs and isn't getting and he gets up at 2 am for work(day off thank god) My lil bro took her home.I said if she couldn't get in to come back.He tried to take her home.She wouldn't go.hinted to go to his house.Then asked to go back to my house.half way to my house she had him turn around and head back to her house.Just about to her house she began to change her mind untill she saw a car pull up at her neighbors full of guys.My bro said she went off with them instead of taking that baby home.I felt so bad.That baby needed to sleep.I felt like getting in my car to go look for them.I couldn't leave my baby and walk into a house I didn't know and demand her to leave.She must have been to the bar without telling me or maybe on something.She suddenly became so messed up!I don't know her thatbwell but what I knew of her years ago was troubling,even without her having a baby.She has went back to a very voilent cheating druggy loser so many time.he beat her while preggo was charges with agg.batt.on a child for hitting her while she was holding him.I feel like asking her to let me take care of him for awhile.Everyone at my house is in shock over everything...My heart keeps thinking of that awesome little boy I held in my arms last night.He getting screwed.I'm sick death over all this .I'm not a prude but damn she's messing up!!! What should I do?????
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Not.So.Virginal
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:08 AM

maybe 2 shots is nothing to you, but do you truly know her alcohol tolerance? She could have gotten drunk off of that.

I think if you were as worried as you are saying you are, you would have found a way to get him to sleep at your place for the night, maybe in a different room from your daughter.

Also, if you expect actual advice, you may want to make that more than one paragraph, it hurt my head to try and follow along.


CountryBreed
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:11 AM

You sound like a good mom and a concerned parent. This woman sounds as if she has no business being a parent at all.




MommytoNandA
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:15 AM

I am not bashing, but if she was drunk why would you let her take her baby with her?  If she was so messed up then why couldn't you have put the playpen in the living room or something?  I am confused, if you couldn't take care of the baby last night and basically kicked them out then why would you say you wanted to take care of the baby for a while? 

Sounds like she is not the greatest mom.  It also sounds like you are a good mom, but I think if you really wanted to help in this situation you definitely went about it the wrong way.

emilysmom8
by Dawn on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:16 AM

First if she was so drunk I don't think I would have wanted her to bring the baby home, obviously she wouldn't be able to take care of him while she was drunk.

Now that everything is over I would call her today and have a little talk with her and tell her how you fell and explain to her that you will no longer be drinking with her when she has her son with her. Tell her if shewants to have a good time and drink she needs to be a responsible mother and find a babysitter.  

LuvmyAiden
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:18 AM

If it were me there would be an extra baby at my house and if she wouldn't let me take him for a while I would be calling CPS ASAP and demanding that someone step in on behalf of this child. This woman is obviously unfit and if something bad happened to this baby you would never forgive yourslef. JMO.

amber0678
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:19 AM

its sad, cuz there's a lot of moms like that. well you cant change what happened, but maybe you could talk to her and tell her that you were concerned. or, what i would really consider, is calling the authorities. it sounds like the homelife of that baby is probably pretty rough. if i knew all that about her situation, and we werent best friends or REALLY close, i would call CPS.  

CafeMom Tickers

2beautygirl
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:20 AM
I guess I should have left him scream in a different room ( like he was) all nite instead of trying to make her take her baby to his safe warm bed with his grandparents. I feel like if my baby needs her bed only a bad mom would keep her baby from it.I'm sorry if I paid more attention to what going on around me then I did paragraphs. I was trying to get it done before my dd needed me.It must be great to have time for grammer! LOL
Not.So.Virginal
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 AM

makign seperate paragraphs has nothing to do with grammar. It's about making it so that people can read easily, if you honeslty want opinions.

Although it sounds like you already know how you feel about the situation and no amount of advice would help.

how safe could his bed be if he wasn't even home? he would have been a lot better off at your house instead of at another strange house. I didn't see the other baby taking your daughter's bed away, like you make this reply sound..... he woke her up with his crying, so maybe you should have helped him sleep instead of pushing him out into the cold

Quoting 2beautygirl:

I guess I should have left him scream in a different room ( like he was) all nite instead of trying to make her take her baby to his safe warm bed with his grandparents. I feel like if my baby needs her bed only a bad mom would keep her baby from it.I'm sorry if I paid more attention to what going on around me then I did paragraphs. I was trying to get it done before my dd needed me.It must be great to have time for grammer! LOL



teralg
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:24 AM

I agree with previous poster.  I'd be calling CPS ASAP!!!!!!  This is uncalled for.  I think you done what you thought was right with it being so late and you had no idea she would have left with those guys.  However, next time I think I'd say you leave and I'll watch the little man for  while.  But she's obviously unfit.  Imagine if something happened to the little boy while she was drunk and she would obviously not be in the right frame of mind to help him, she's possibly putting him at risk and imagine what kind of  environment that little boy is in.  And I'm betting this wasn't the first time she's done that to him.  Could you even go talk to her folks?  I know this might ruin the friendship, but at least maybe the little boy would get the help and love he needs.  I don't know how parents can do these things to their children, in my opinion it's child neglect.  All he needed was his Mommy and a nice place to sleep, most Mommy's would want to put their baby to sleep just to have free time or to sleep themselves.  I feel horrible for this little boy, poor thing.

Mackenzie40
by Platinum Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:25 AM

 If I understand right she lives with her parents and your brother was drivi9ng so in those circumstances I would have let her go home w/baby.

Anyway what an awful spot to put you and your family in. ((Hugs)) I hate situations like that . Maybe she's on some medication , has a low tolerance or was drinking before Who fricken knows ..right? Hopefully she just had a bad night and this isn't usual..? I suppose the other thing you could have done is call the cops anon on the house she went to and made a noise complaint or something ..maybe that would have gotten her to go home. IDK what to tell you , I doubt even CPS would do anything at this point but I too would be worried for the little guy .




       The group I call home is 2gether 4change !! The group I "Play" in is TAA ..I hope to see you there !!!   

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