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What do you make of this? Cause it sounds like BS to me.

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:47 AM
  • 3 Replies

OK, so my niece (she's from my husband's sister, but I still call her my niece) is 13.   SIL is a very negative and hateful person and we just flat don't deal with her anymore.  The last fight they had she texted my DH "FU and I hope you rot in h*ll."  That's mild compared to the email she sent me and right after I had DD in July 08 she posted "Divorce her and cut your losses" referring to me on her status line on myspace.  So yeah, she is done.  I still love my niece to pieces though.  I feel like her mom has and is doing wrong by her b/c she has basically abandoned her.  The girl lives with her father and she very seldom sees or talks to her mother.  Anytime she does SIL is screaming at her so she just doesn't call her anymore.  This little girl has never lived with her mother or at least not since her and her ex divorced.  SIL has since married another man and they have already divorced, but she has another son by him who is almost 5.  She dotes on him and buys him whatever he wants.  So anyway, that's a little background I guess.

Since we don't talk to SIL I haven't been able to talk to DN (niece) very much.  Her dad doesn't mind that we talk to her at all, but we just didn't get to talk to her very often.  Well she got on facebook and she talks to my husband and I A LOT, LOL.  Every time we get on she pops up and starts chatting, she's so cute, LOL.  So last night I was talking ot her and she was talking about her video games and I told her we had a Wii, but we sold it (this was when they first came out and DS was too young for it) and now DS wants one and we should have just kept it.  I asked her if she had a Wii and she said "Well I did, but my mom took it and she won't give it back."  I asked her why she took it and she said "She took it last year b/c my grades are bad and when I got them back up she still wouldn't give it back to me.  Now my grades are bad again."  I said "Well, if you work hard and get your grades back up she will give it back to you I am sure."  She said "No, she says she is never giving it back b/c she had one and then she gave it to her crush."  Her "crush" is a man she was living with, but she moved out of there and into a house w/ MIL (yes it is very, very complicated).  I think this is really crappy!  I told my DH about it and he said that SIL probably gave it to her other son.  I understand taking it b/c her grades were bad, but number 1 she lives with her dad so shouldn't he be doing that?  And number 2 the kid got her grades up and she didn't give it back WTH?  She has no incentive to keep her grades up now b/c it doesn't matter what she does her mom is keeping the Wii.  She said she lets her play it when she is over there, but that is less than once a month! 

So what do you think?  Could DN be exagerating things so I feel sorry for her?  Like maybe her grades never came back up or somethng?  IDK.  I am not going to say anything, I just would like to know what you think about it.  I have been trying to talk to her and just kind of be that cool person she can talk to.  Her mom is not that person for her, and it is sad to me.  DN calls me on my cell and we talk on FB a couple of times a week.  SIL would be livid if she found out.  So, my other question is would you be pissed if you were SIL, or would you be happy that your DD had someone she could talk to?  Of course if she told me anything I was really concerned about I would go to one of her parents.  Thoughts?

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 9:47 AM
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Replies (1-3):
MommytoNandA
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:06 AM

bump

 

lilmom71
by Silver Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:29 AM

I know times have changed but when I was younger I got money if my grades were good and none if they weren't.  I don't understand taking away something that is already theirs as being a good solution.  Its kind of like indian giving. All it does is cause harsh feelings.  She may just need more help in school and if she is playing the game and not doing her homework why not make her turn it off.

babybull0601
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:35 AM

Im sure if your SIL does not like you or your hubby Im sure she will be mad. I really wouldnt care though.  Sounds like she isnt stepping up being a mom and really since the dad  has custody then its his say who she can communicate with.  As for the game I think if it was bought for your niece then it should go where your niece is.  If her dad wants to keep it away b/c of failing grades that is his call since she is in his home. 

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