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do any of you military wive (or wives in general) feel this way?

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:49 PM
  • 13 Replies

My husband is a "2 weekends a month" solider. I hate that term. He is activated and gone for 15 months right now and i'm beginning to feel like a person who just does this or that and has no real purpose but to do this or that.

Like i do the laundry and clean and vacuum and take care of the boys and cook and go to school and study and shower and go to bed and repeat. That is all i do. My husband isn't here to cuddle with or to talk with there is no dates or laughing at his jokes i'm just i don't even know what i am. I wait by the phone and i wait online and like always something prevents him from getting on or the connection stops a few minutes into our online chat.

It just sucks. I feel like i am floating somewhere above me just wondering where my life really went.

:(

by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sweetnsassymami
by Ruby Member on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:52 PM

yes dh is deployed...you need to break up the monotony. switch up the routine..or you'll go crazy lol. He'll be back before you know it to bug you and get on your nerves...just stay busy and try to get out and meet other moms. Park, library are good places. Family if they are close. Hang in there. =)

MsDean
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:53 PM

Well dh is not military but it sounds like you might be getting exhausted of the repetivness of your daily routine. I am a SAHM and when dh is working alot I feel as though I will go crazy but it helps to do things like scrapbook, bake something from scratch, or some type of hobby to boost up my morale. Then I don't feel so monotone.

alexhuntercody
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:54 PM


Quoting sweetnsassymami:

yes dh is deployed...you need to break up the monotony. switch up the routine..or you'll go crazy lol. He'll be back before you know it to bug you and get on your nerves...just stay busy and try to get out and meet other moms. Park, library are good places. Family if they are close. Hang in there. =)

and i dnt even have the support of a "Military family" because we are not in any way near a base. I don't know any of the families of the men that left with mine as most are all over the place around here and not real close.

I'm just in a funk today i think.

Rockrebel16
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:57 PM

Just remember your not alone in this at all. You have to keep yourself busy which it sounds like you are. But you have to look forward and know that what your doing is for a reason. When ever you have a day off from school do something for yourself to help. I know its hard my husband is active and was gone for 6 months came back for a month and now is gone for a year. I have two toddllers running around and I am pregnant with my 3rd. It is normal to feel like your just stuck and not understand were your life went. But you have to go back and think about why he signed up in the first place. There was always that chance that this would happen.

little.miss.mom
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:57 PM

I'm sorry I know how it can be when our men are gone. Take some kind of class or learn a new hobby. It helps the time go by faster.

psanders
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:57 PM

My husband is not military but he has been working out of state for the last 8 months or so.  I know exactly what you mean, in fact I was just thinking about it today.  I was thinking I need to get a part time job or something just to get some interaction with other adults.  I am a SAHM and I feel like my days just blur together.  I know how you feel...hang in there he will be home before you know it.   

in loveMother to Drew, Peyton and Parker and Wife to my wonderful husband David

CJsMommy312
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:58 PM

I agree with the other two replies. Break up the routine if you can. Also is there a ombudsman you can talk to? Maybe get on a wives email list. They will send emails about up-coming events or get togethers for the wives. Maybe even check on base to see if there is a playgroup or club you can attend once or twice a week. It sucks when hubby is deployed..I understand completely!!

baby in slingnavy

Wife to a Sailor and Mommy to a Baby Girl

KT9105
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:59 PM

I've been there.  My husband's been in since 1998, went to the reserves in 2002 and was activated in 2005.  He's still activated and will be extending again this year if they pick him up. 

From 2005-2008 he was gone 90% of the time.  So yeah, I got into the monotony of day to day existence for a bit.  Felt sorry for myself, didn't do much at all.  After his first leave during the 2005-2006 deployment I started finding my own things to do.  I joined classes at the gym on post (spinning mostly, occasionally I did aerobics, but I didn't really care for it).  I started finding crafty things to do - decided to learn something and learned it.  I was learning to knit for a few months but I wasn't coordinated enough for it I guess. 

Even though being apart is horrid, especially after having him with you for so long in a civilian capacity, but I really learned how to be ok with being by myself.  I've always been somewhat independent but now it's fierce.  Actually, since my husband's been home for a little more than a year it's been harder because I got used to doing it all and doing my own thing, I had to learn how to be a full time wife again lol.

alexhuntercody
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 10:59 PM


Quoting Rockrebel16:

Just remember your not alone in this at all. You have to keep yourself busy which it sounds like you are. But you have to look forward and know that what your doing is for a reason. When ever you have a day off from school do something for yourself to help. I know its hard my husband is active and was gone for 6 months came back for a month and now is gone for a year. I have two toddllers running around and I am pregnant with my 3rd. It is normal to feel like your just stuck and not understand were your life went. But you have to go back and think about why he signed up in the first place. There was always that chance that this would happen.

I knew there was a chance and i'm not really complaning about the deployment i'm just frustrated and a little sad about everything because i have noone near me who gets it or understands they are just like well you married him or they get pissy cause he is a "2 weekend amonth" solider and he shouldn't have had to go. I have NOONE to vent to or talk to cause noone here (at my house in family and friends) really knows what i'm going through.

alexhuntercody
by on Jan. 3, 2010 at 11:00 PM


Quoting CJsMommy312:

I agree with the other two replies. Break up the routine if you can. Also is there a ombudsman you can talk to? Maybe get on a wives email list. They will send emails about up-coming events or get togethers for the wives. Maybe even check on base to see if there is a playgroup or club you can attend once or twice a week. It sucks when hubby is deployed..I understand completely!!

I'm not near a base and the people that we are suppose to call never return phone calls or emails. I know none of the other families..

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