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Have You Ever Had to Cut Ties With Members of Your Family? If Only For You Sanity...

My husband is having to do this with his parents and brother.  It is too long ot get into, but my inlaws want to make my husband feel bad about himself all of the time.  I cannot stand to see him like this.  So we are having to do this for our sanity and happiness.

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:04 AM
Replies (21-30):
by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:27 AM

My cousin. We grew up together and were very close. She always started huge dramatic issues with family, everyone, including her family cut her out. But, I lover her, so I always steered away from it when it came in my direction.(im very passive) We were on the same plan for our cell phones. Me, her and her husband. Well, for months straight my bill was 300.00. Just me. I couldn't figure it out and was afraid she would freak if i asked her so I went to At&t myself. Low and bill was only 60 dollars, I had been paying for all 3 lines for the past 6 months!!!!! I was single at the time with 2 kids and she felt nothing as she did that at christmas time, birthdays for my kids etc. That was the final straw. I cut ties with her and told her to stick my bill and phone straight up her ass. AND, got my own line, with nobody else:)

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:27 AM

I only talk to my 2 brothers and 2 of my cousins. The rest of them I dont' bother with and haven't talked to them in over 3 years going on 4, been the best years of my life!!! No stress, no bullshit, no more idiots!!!!

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:28 AM

Yes, we had to with DH family.  I went out of my way to forgive and forget, but each time she would top the last thing she said or did to try to get rid of me.  The rest got cut out to because everyone believed her.

She is controling and manipulative and we didn't want her to have an affect on our kids.  She did enough damage to our relationship before we said enough is enough.

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:31 AM

Quoting staceyjoy:

Yes my husband cut ties with the majority of his biological family for much the same reason. It has been much harder for me than him because I grew up in such a close knit family it was really hard for me to see how horrible they were to him and I just couldn't understand how people could be that way. He is so much happier now and more fullfilled. His parents were very emotionally abusive towards him it was so sad I don't understand how people can treat their children that way.

Prayers and hugs for you and your hubby. It will be hard but sometimes it's for the best.

My FIL even called (and left a message-he is too chicken to call us in person) the day after my husbands birthday and said that had he known my
MIL was sending a birthday card, he would have told her to leave his name off of it.  What bothers me is that my kids heard it and they did not even know who the voice belonged to.  They have seen their grandkids once in the last 2 years.

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:31 AM

Years ago when I was pregnant my brother said some really hurtful things and for years a didn't speak to him. I thought at the time I was doing the right thing because he really can be a jerk.

But a few years ago I decided I didn't to hold onto the anger or want to put my family in the middle any longer and even though my brother is a jerk sometimes. I didn't want to teach my daughter that people are easily written off over this or that. So I decided to make amends and we will never be as close as we used to be, which is fine but now we have an understanding and its nice to not hold any grudges.

Obviously what my borther did was forgiveable but I don't think every situation is the same as mine. I do believe that there are unforgiveable situations where people need to be written off, beucase its the right thing to do as well.

 expecting girltoddler girl

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:33 AM

my mother phisically  and verbally abused me  all my life   

I cut her out she is a part of the past  period  

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:35 AM

my aunts, long story, but I do not speak to them. One is totally insane and the other just goes along with the craziness.


by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:36 AM

Quoting freedomthinks:

my mother phisically  and verbally abused me  all my life   

I cut her out she is a part of the past  period  

I am glad that you were able to get on with your life.

by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:37 AM

I finally had the courage to boot my mother, sister, "step-father", and partially my brother out of my life not too long ago. They are all toxic negative people and I was sick of the two-faced behavior. My mother and I used to be so close but she has a problem with spreading nasty rumors to make her and her husband look better. She finally crossed the line when when she would not stop telling people that my husband is a child molester (not true), that we abuse our children, dog, and hubby's father who stays with us (not true), and that we live in the dumpiest house in our town. It was ridiculous the things that would come out of her mouth. So I finally said ENOUGH and I have never felt more at peace. She can no longer hurt me or my family and that is a huge strain off of me. I hope you guys can do what needs to be done.

Brandy-Wife to Michael-Mom to Melissa(14), Michael(10), and Makenna(3)
Due with #4 6-24-10
CafeMom Tickers



by on Jan. 11, 2010 at 11:45 AM

I am in the process of it right now! It isn't easy, especially when you have been raised like I was. That you NEED them, no matter how they treat you, you NEED your family! Not true!
My breaking point after 23 years of them treating me like crap, my child got hurt. I won't let her be around these people and have her selfesteem ruined like mine is!
DH and I are moving to another state and changing our numbers!

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