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NO BASHING BFING POST. :)

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:47 AM
  • 20 Replies

I didn't breast feed DD. I thought about it, but being young (and somewhat stupid) I decided not to. That and when she was born we both had severe anemia, so I would have had to pump from the beginning, as she needed the iron supplements right away. I figured if she's going to eat from a bottle anyways, might as well give her formula.

That said, I think I want to BF this baby. But I'm terrified. I'm scared it will hurt, I'm scared it will mess up my boobs (my moms are permanently lopsided from BFing my lil sis), I'm scared baby won't latch, I'm scared I won't be good at it...And after all that, I'm discouraged. I know I have a ton of time to really decide...and I know the benefits FAR outnumber the discomforts...

And my DH isn't being very helpful. He doesn' want me to breast feed. He says it's ok, if I chose to, but he would prefer that I didn't. His reasoning is that DD is one of the healthiest children we know, one of the biggest, and very smart...so obviously she is thriving without BFing...and that if I BF he won't be able to feed her and get that Daddy bonding and he will miss that. He actually WANTS to get up in the middle of the night to feed the new baby.

It just makes the decision that much harder.


I'm just scared. I've tried talking to a lactation consultant (a few, actually) and I just felt more confused and scared afterwards. They made me feel like I didn't take care of DD properly because I FFed her, and they made me feel like my body isn't really MY body, it's the baby's body...Which is NOT want I wanted to hear...

Does anyone have any advice?




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by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ginger813
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:50 AM

BFing is harder than it looks! I tried it with both of my DD's, but didn't have any luck, so I just pumped my milk. That way, DH could still feed them. You could always try that. Good luck! 

KT9105
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:51 AM

From what I've heard it can hurt (doesn't mean it will) at first, but not for long.  As far as your husband not wanting you to, this is one instance where it's not his decision even a little. 

abstractmommy
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:56 AM

It's very hard sometimes. It hurts. I usually pump and breastfeed so my husband and others can feed him. I have never enjoyed the "bonding" because my baby likes to clamp down on my nipples and twist his body around. But it's only been 7 week so I'm still hoping we'll both get the hang of it.

It is much more convenient at home...out of the home its kind of a pain. But if you just feed breastmilk think of the money you save!

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AngelicaRenee
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:02 AM

I will be truthful, the first 3-4 days I wanted to cry every time it was time to feed my son. it hurt so bad. I kept at it though and after that I had no more pain (except from engorgement when he would skip a feeding when he got older, but it really wasn't THAT painful)

I've heard that even people who never breastfeed have issues with the way their boobs look after having a baby, just from being pregnant and all that. not sure how true it is but that's what I've heard. Mine are still pretty much the same as they were before.

You could also pump milk (i wouldn't recommend ONLY pumping, it's much harder than actually nursing the baby and a lot of people have supply issues with this) But that way your husband can still feed the baby every now and then.

And another thing, think of how much money you will save NOT buying formula, you could use that money on other things.

I would try to find a more helpful LC, one that doesn't try to make women feel guilty for choosing to use formula. I'm sure they have to be out there somewhere! lol

Quoting KT9105:

From what I've heard it can hurt (doesn't mean it will) at first, but not for long.  As far as your husband not wanting you to, this is one instance where it's not his decision even a little. 


CoastieWifePR
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:04 AM


Quoting NIKopotamous:

I didn't breast feed DD. I thought about it, but being young (and somewhat stupid) I decided not to. That and when she was born we both had severe anemia, so I would have had to pump from the beginning, as she needed the iron supplements right away. I figured if she's going to eat from a bottle anyways, might as well give her formula. 

That said, I think I want to BF this baby. But I'm terrified. I'm scared it will hurt,  it only hurts the first couple of days, a little lansinoh or gerber moisturizing balm help a lot I'm scared it will mess up my boobs (my moms are permanently lopsided from BFing my lil sis),  A scientific study that studied the effects of breastfeeding upon sagging, found that breastfeeding per se did not have an affect upon the sagging. Pregnancy does because of the great physical changes happening in the breasts during pregnancy, but breastfeeding alone did not. According to the study, the following were risk factors for an increased degree of breast sagging: body mass index (BMI), the number of pregnancies, a larger pre-pregnancy bra size, smoking history, and age. I'm scared baby won't latch, with practice your baby can latch I'm scared I won't be good at it...  if you never try it you'll never know wink miniAnd after all that, I'm discouraged. I know I have a ton of time to really decide...and I know the benefits FAR outnumber the discomforts...  they sure do 

And my DH isn't being very helpful. He doesn' want me to breast feed. He says it's ok, if I chose to, but he would prefer that I didn't. His reasoning is that DD is one of the healthiest children we know, one of the biggest, and very smart...so obviously she is thriving without BFing...and that if I BF he won't be able to feed her and get that Daddy bonding and he will miss that. He actually WANTS to get up in the middle of the night to feed the new baby.  My husband used to tell me not to bf.  Until,  he saw how much money we saved on bottles and formula, how less work it was that instead of having to prepare bottles in the middle of the night I just had to put her in the breast and get it over with...  He was afraid he wouldn't bond with the baby but feeding does not equal bonding and we are proof of that...  Plus, there is always the option of using a breast pump so the husband or someone else can help with the feedings if they wish to...

It just makes the decision that much harder.


I'm just scared. I've tried talking to a lactation consultant (a few, actually) and I just felt more confused and scared afterwards. They made me feel like I didn't take care of DD properly because I FFed her, and they made me feel like my body isn't really MY body, it's the baby's body...Which is NOT want I wanted to hear...

Does anyone have any advice?

Besides what I just said, first, nobody should make you feel guilty for ff your first, she's alive, she's healthy, she's being cared for, that's all that should matter. 

Second, if you want to breastfeed you have to prepare yourself mentally and physically, know it will be hard the first couple of weeks but then it is not hard at all...  Feeding time decrease A LOT, once the baby gets the hang of it...  Practice and learn all positions so you find those more comfortable for you...  Get a nursing cover if you're not comfortable NIP, a nursing pillow helps a lot, specially for your back...  Like I said before, moisturizing balm or lansinoh will save your life...  A good breast pump could also be a lifesaver if your nipples are too sore the first couple of weeks, I almost gave up because of that...  If you use a breast pump for alternate feedings, make sure you get the wide nipples and use the breast more than the bottle, if possible avoid the bottle for the first 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion, some babies end up preferring the bottle to the breast then it will be harder...  Good luck!



lvnmysldr
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:06 AM

I attempted to breastfeed both my daughters.  I have come to the realization that I absolutely hate breastfeeding.  I'm not against it, it's just not for me.  It's harder than it looks and it takes a lot of dedication and committment on your part.  Basically, your boobs are the babies for however long you choose to nurse.  I don't regret my decision to stop nursing. I was stressed and beginning to resent the whole process and my baby, so for my sanity, I stopped. And my daughters are no worse off from it.

Trisha-Faye
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:11 AM

question?

Do you really *want* to breastfeed or do you feel like you *should* breastfeed?

wieneke10
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:14 AM

Bfing isnt for everybody . i did it  with my first child and it was painful and awful. she didnt latch on right so my boobs would bleed and was so sore.  and i didnt really thinking it was a bonding  time either cause i was just tired  cause i was the only that could really feed her but it is really good for them health wise and it does help your body slim down faster but if ur unsure and dont want to do it i wouldnt cause i think the moms who enjoy it are the ones who look forward to it if that makes sense.

also if you do decided to do it  they have classes and stuff they will help with breast feeding once the baby is born and its all different moms that are together with a nurse and they talk about it and  it really helps.

elly25
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:14 AM

 You are going to upset your self with all of those what if's.Does it hurt you ask??Well with my son it didn't hurt me at all.With my daughter it hurt like hell for two months,but that was because my nipples were too large for her mouth to latch on to in the right way.Her mouth got larger and my nipple no longer hurt because she latched on right.They make nipple guards that help that issue though.Is breast feeding for everybody out there?No.It's not for everybody.Does it mess up your boobs??That all depends on your body and the way that your skin reacts to the weight fluctuation.I don't necessarilythink that breast feeding your child alone messes up your breast.I think that the weight gain that happens during pregnancy contributes loads to it.Yes,my boobs aren't perky anymore and I do have stretch marks on them from all that milk that came in,but for a while I had some really nice boobs.lol!!You can pump your milk and let him feed your child.It all comes down to what you feel is right for the both of you.You can do a prose and cons list with him and come up on a right choicethat way.If you do choose to breast feed your new baby then there are loads of people on here that can help you out with all the questions that you might have.I'm one of the answer people if you want message me.Go for it.I breast fed my son until he was two in a half years old.I'm still breast feeding my daughter at two years old.I know a thing or two.lol!!!!So do all of the other mama's out here as well.Good luck!!Best wishes with your choice.

owls

jcsmummy
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:15 AM

my daughter was not breastfed, my so nwas. it hurt for the first month or so, i pushed through it and it got better. if it hurts all the time, you are not getting a good latch. i breastfed him til just over a year, and my ta-ta's are just fine. they are not saggy, lopsided, or otherwise deformed. i was on the fence about BFing my boy, and i'm so very glad i gave it a try. just because something bad can happen doesn't mean it will.  

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