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talking to strangers ( help please) edited

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:14 AM
  • 11 Replies

My 3 year old just loves people and will go up and talk to anybody he See's. Last night we were out bowling with the family and he was running around the arcade ( I was right there with him ) and he would stop and start talking to other kids and adults and they would just give him this weird look and walk away. I tried to explain to him that we dont talk to strangers but I know he did not understand cause later that night when were were packing up to leave the bowling ally my son went over to this old guy who was bowling right next to us and started to talk to him.  I knew he was there and so did the rest of the family so we just thought ok let him talk, this guy seems pretty nice and were right here. well I had to do a double take cause when I looked at my son I saw that he had pulled his pants down and was grabbing his wee wee. then I realized that he was asking this guy to take him to the potty. I yelled at my husband cause he was the closet to grab him and the guy just had this dumbfounded look on his face. my MIL just about died laughing.  He feels to comfortable around strangers and I just dint know how to explain to him that its not ok to do that. he does not grasp the concept at all. So how did you get your kids not to talk to strangers

 

This is the first time he has ever exposed himself in public,  I had a talk with him about it in the bathroom and when we got home about talking to strangers and so on but he just does not get it,  I mean how to I go about telling him its not ok to talk to people you dont know without scaring him to death. I dont want to teach him that all strangers are bad and will hurt you.  I love that my son is friendly and will say hi and strike up a conversation with anybody, but yet I want him to realize thats its not ok to accept gifts from strangers and not to open the door for everybody who knocks on the door and so on.  I honestly never thought this could be so hard

Nicole
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MzSeXyC
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:20 AM

bump!

i dont have any advice. my son is 4, but never talks to strangers...yet. lol. 

Heather0816
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:27 AM

I am not a really paranoid mommy but your story scared the hell out of me.

I understand you can't watch you children 100% of the time however you were in a public place and someone should have had eyes on him  the whole time.  Next the fact that he exposed himself is wrong on so many levels. Where did he learn it was ok to whip it out and tell someone he has to use the bathroom? What happen to I have to go potty?  And last but not certainly least, just because someone seems nice doesn't mean they are. Let me throw out a few names John Wayne Gacy and Ted Bundy. Both preyed on boys! He would have enjoyed your sons show last night.

While it should have been taught before it's never to late to teach stranger danger!

 


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momto3infl
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:38 AM

I have to say we started talking to our kids at 1yr of age and one because our oldest was very out going and would try to talk and wave and all that to everyone.  With her it took until age 5 to totally understand with Escape School, but our younger 2 pretty much understood by age 3 what we were talking about. 

isra1986
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:40 AM

Bump because I need advice on this too!
My DD will go to anyone!

Shy_Dia
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:43 AM

bump cuz damnit- i need that help too. thankfully, it hasnt gone to him exposing himself, although he holds himself- ALL. THE. TIME. and its frustrating..

but he invites random people over- the drunk mom from my bro's b-ball game, the greeter from walmart, the drive thru lady at taco bell (he wants his window down so he can thank them for the food), etc. everyone that he meets, he'll ask if they can come over and play the game (video games) with him. thankfully most people just laugh and say that they cant.. the drunk mom said that she'd love to, but she had to get home.. i'm worried for when someone does try to accept the invitation!

wearing crown                  backpack
                                         Boo-Boo 
                                      10/15/2005
21 year old single mom of a 4 year old boy. Not sure exactly what kind of mom I am, but I get a chance to better myself everyday. My biggest goal for 2010 is to break out of my shell.

~~~ I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Rachel12342
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:56 AM
Bump. Dd is only a month old

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I'm a pro-life, anti CIO, co sleeping, non vaxing(PM me to find out why), 17 yr old Christian mom to Lorelai. I have an almost perfect GPA and hope to attend Duke university. I want to be a pediatrician or pediatric oncologist.
DomJGinMama
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:03 AM

i did that. i would talk to anyone and everyone that did or didnt listen. i would strike up a conversation with people all around me, i still do it actually (stranger danger pish wah) but what my mom did for me, and i did for my son (who also talks to everyone) is scared the living shit out of me. She told me that some people take pretty little girls and hit us with sticks and tie us up and make us cry. some pople are really nice and they talk to us sweetly, but then they take pretty girls and hang them from the celing by their hair. i have to say it was pretty much the most horrile thought i had. then she told me it was ok to try to talk to people but only if she was holding my hand. and that mommy would protect me from those mean people. and with my son...i hold his hand all the time, and if we are going somewhere like the mall where there isnt a cart for him i put the leash on him and i dont know ur stance on those but my son will straight up get mad at me and run to someone else and take their hand and tell me he wants a new family so he needs a leash....

wiener
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:04 AM


Quoting Heather0816:

I am not a really paranoid mommy but your story scared the hell out of me.

I understand you can't watch you children 100% of the time however you were in a public place and someone should have had eyes on him  the whole time.  Next the fact that he exposed himself is wrong on so many levels. Where did he learn it was ok to whip it out and tell someone he has to use the bathroom? What happen to I have to go potty?  And last but not certainly least, just because someone seems nice doesn't mean they are. Let me throw out a few names John Wayne Gacy and Ted Bundy. Both preyed on boys! He would have enjoyed your sons show last night.

While it should have been taught before it's never to late to teach stranger danger!

we were watching him, we knew he was talking to this guy, we were right there all 7 of us. he had his son with him and we were talking to him while were bowling so its not like we just let him let go and talk to this guy. This is the first time that my son has ever exposed himself in public. hence why im in shock. he knows to ask one of us if he has to go potty yet he apperntly felt comfratable enough to ask this guy. I'm trying to teach im but he just does not understand

Nicole
MommyCakesinTX
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:14 AM

My daughter is extremely outgoing and friendly. I don't want to change that about her, but I want her to be safe. (She is three) We have taught her that it is OK to be friendly to someone and say hello or respond to someone if she feels comfortable. But only if she is holding our hand. We have taught her not to let any children or adults touch her private parts or talk to her about them. We told her that if someone tries she needs to yell NO very loud and immediately come over to us.  I always place myself between her and an exit. When we go to places like Chuck E Cheese, we stay right by her side the whole time. She also knows not to go anywhere with a stranger or even friend or family member without our permission for any reason. When she is older we will have a code word (or phrase actually), should someone (even family or friend ) have to pick her up from somewhere for us.  Another thing we will start teaching her soon is self defense and how to get out of some one's grasp. I just try real hard to keep her safe without making her afraid of the world or breaking her spirit!  You can check  with your local police department, YMCA or department of health for stranger danger programs.

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allurasmamma
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:24 AM

 My kids are sometimes like this, i yell at them, i don't care. Now if they are right beside me and someone waves or says hello first , then we say hello back. I am so greatful, that my 2 year old was sheltered, we never took her anywhere, so she is shy, really shy. So I don't think my worry is with her so much as my 6 year old. He is crazy like! He will talk to anyone. But we always practice what to do if someone were to grab him up! And never accept gifts from strangers. I told him if someone that he doesn't know offers him something he really wants, run like hell, screaming all the way to mom!  And i will get him the toy or candy. We practice all the time. I would try it like that, because it has been good so far with him. We will go outside and play strangers. I will walk over to him and say "hey , little boy, want to pet my puppy? want some candy? etc,  And he has even kicked me in the knee! But he knows when it comes time for flight or fight, he better flight. I worry because i have the fight , and i am hoping he has the flight. Practice, practice, practice! And words about stranger danger everyday is a must!

     All my love, All my life.


 Madison,clayton,allura.


     All my love, All my life.

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