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do you still discipline your kids..

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:38 AM
  • 10 Replies

if someone else is doing it. like the other day my friend and her daughter came over and we were both watching them and then i had to go to my mom's house real quick so she agreed to stay with both kids and watch them. i was gone for like 15 minutes and when i came back they were playing eye spy and jumping around and playing *DS is 2 her DD just turned 3) anyways they had a "time-out pillow" and it was fairly obvious it was only for my son because her daughter is very shy and reserved and well behaved. anyways every time my son would slip up she would say okay chandler let's go to the time out pillow and they would count how long he had to stay in there and then get out and apologize..she seemed pretty on the ball with this so i didnt step in at first when he was getting in trouble but then i felt so conflicted like, do i start doing it now or will she think i am being rude thinking i dont want her helping, or do i not say anything and she thinks i am just sitting back letting her take care of my son.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Shy_Dia
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:41 AM

i'd think it'd depend on the relationship i had with that friend. seems like you guys are really good, and if her own kid is well-behaved, as you say- maybe your daughter can take pointers from it, ya know? i'd probably be like "awesome! how are you getting her to sit there like that?"... but then again, my sister never did good with time outs. DS rarely needs to go in timeout, but when he did, he was "alright" with it.

wearing crown                  backpack
                                         Boo-Boo 
                                      10/15/2005
21 year old single mom of a 4 year old boy. Not sure exactly what kind of mom I am, but I get a chance to better myself everyday. My biggest goal for 2010 is to break out of my shell.

~~~ I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

grammarpolice
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:51 AM

When DH and I are present, it is our place to discipline. I think it was fine that your friend disciplined in your absence, but once you returned, you should have stepped back into that role and she should have stepped out of it.

othermom
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:52 AM

It depends on the situation. If I am not there I am fine with someone else dispiciplining my kids in an appropriate way if they need it, but if I am there then it is my job. If it is something that is a safety issue though, I dont care whether I am there or not I would be happy for anyone to say something to stop one of my kids from hurting themselves.  How many times did she send him to the pillow, what was he doing. In a situation like yours I would have stepped in.

allurasmamma
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:55 AM

I think it is really great that you two can do that with out getting upset with one another! I say you both are doing great. I would just back each other up, like you do now. Good job!

I like when my sister comes over because she is not shy to tell my boy when he is doing bad, and she doesn't mind if i corret her child. It works out really good!

     All my love, All my life.


 Madison,clayton,allura.


     All my love, All my life.

NikkosMommy820
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:59 AM

It would really depend on who it is....and how close I am to that person. Generally I don't let anyone disciple him but me....

exceptalilfish
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:57 AM

well we have been best friends for 10 years so we are really close. he kept pinching or pulling her DD's hair. when i am around i will always put him in time out every time he does that so i do not blame her for at all for putting him into time out while i was gone. he seemed to be listening well to her and they were playing and having a great time. after a couple of time outs while i was there i started to make sure he stayed on the pillow for the full time and told him that what he was doing was bad. she didnt seem upset with him or mind that she had to put him in time out so much, she understands he is very hard to handle. actually she has volunteered to let him stay with her for the weekend to see if he will behave when i am not there and if she can control him. i cant do that though because i know he will not behave and i do not want that burden on someone else. and he has never slept over anywhere before.

Quoting NikkosMommy820:

It would really depend on who it is....and how close I am to that person. Generally I don't let anyone disciple him but me....


LCWAmommy
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:09 PM

I hate when we are somewhere (usually family things) and someone else jumps in and disciplines my kids before I even have A chance or if I don't see and they just take care of it instead of coming to tell me "hey ___ was getting into grandmas stuff" or what ever. If I am there then I will discipline my kids hubbies cousins and sister are really bad about it, once my sil was going to spank my son (he was 3) because he was sitting on her dog I lost it and hubbie told her when you have your own kids you can spank them but don't touch mine.   

 Imaddge3.jpg picture by JanieBoBanie

exceptalilfish
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:12 PM

well i hate that too. my BILs do this allllllllllllllllll the time. they are 25 and 15. they will talk over me at the exact same time as me when i am telling my son no. it's like as soon as he does something bad everyone jumps in to see who can correct him first. it makes me so mad, it's like i am right freaking here and i see what is going on. but with my friend it was different i think.

Quoting LCWAmommy:

I hate when we are somewhere (usually family things) and someone else jumps in and disciplines my kids before I even have A chance or if I don't see and they just take care of it instead of coming to tell me "hey ___ was getting into grandmas stuff" or what ever. If I am there then I will discipline my kids hubbies cousins and sister are really bad about it, once my sil was going to spank my son (he was 3) because he was sitting on her dog I lost it and hubbie told her when you have your own kids you can spank them but don't touch mine.   


SamiJ18
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:14 PM

With my friends and family, there is the understanding that if my hubby or I  is there, we do the discipline.  If we are not there, they do the discipline. 

SamiJ18
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:17 PM

My sister and sister-in-laws try to do the opposite.  If Roxy is misbehaving and I get onto her about it, they try to jump in and let her get away with it.  I eventually got tired of it and told them all off...they weren't happy about that but they let me do the disciplining of my own child.

Quoting exceptalilfish:

well i hate that too. my BILs do this allllllllllllllllll the time. they are 25 and 15. they will talk over me at the exact same time as me when i am telling my son no. it's like as soon as he does something bad everyone jumps in to see who can correct him first. it makes me so mad, it's like i am right freaking here and i see what is going on. but with my friend it was different i think.

Quoting LCWAmommy:

I hate when we are somewhere (usually family things) and someone else jumps in and disciplines my kids before I even have A chance or if I don't see and they just take care of it instead of coming to tell me "hey ___ was getting into grandmas stuff" or what ever. If I am there then I will discipline my kids hubbies cousins and sister are really bad about it, once my sil was going to spank my son (he was 3) because he was sitting on her dog I lost it and hubbie told her when you have your own kids you can spank them but don't touch mine.   



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