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AM I OVER REACTING???

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:06 AM
  • 18 Replies

Ok so  I am the oldest girl for my father and I am the older sister to my brother. I do everything for everyone when asked of me. Well the other day thursday to be exact my baby had her 6 months shot scheduled, I asked my dad if he could watch the boys ( i have twin 5 yr olds) for 45 mins so i could get her taken care of . He tell me well yeah but you need to hurry up i have things to do!!! I asked him monday and he said fine. Now i have not spoken with either him or my brother since then. I am so tired of being walked all over. I never ask for anything but when i do its important. No one can help out for a few mins. Yes i am a SAHM  i go to school full time and never have they told me good job. Nothing!! im so irritated. Am i over reacting to this or no?

Wife to loving husband... Mother of Twin boys and a beautiful baby girl.. Created out of pure love..

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:06 AM

I don't really understand what you are upset about.  Why are you not talking to your dad?

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:07 AM

Maybe he really has things to do that day.

jjessers
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:09 AM

Is it that he said you had to hurry up because he had something important to do?

I'm not sure I get it either.

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

I don't really understand what you are upset about.  Why are you not talking to your dad?


mysti26
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:10 AM

I would blow it off personally

lillypie2
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:14 AM

i think I get it...you asked him on monday if he could watch them thursday and he said it was fine but when you brought them thursday he told you you had to hurry up. Your upset because you do alot for them and when you asked in advance it was okay but when you brought them it was almost like an inconvience and he had more important things to do...I think, atleast that is what I got from it.  

CRZNKMZMOMMA
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:15 AM

I DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM AND HE TOLD ME DONT WORRY I WILL GET THE BOYS AND THEY WILL BE FINE. BUT ALL OF A SUDDENT 5 MINS BEFORE ITS TIME TO GO HE YELLS AT ME TO NOT GO ANYWHERE ELSE AND BLAH BLAH JUST BECAUSE MY BROTHER STUPID GIRLFRIEND NEEDED HIM TO FIX HER CAR.SHE HAS TWO. IM UPSET BECAUSE I DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM AND I GET WALKED ALL OVER WHEN I NEED HELP.

Wife to loving husband... Mother of Twin boys and a beautiful baby girl.. Created out of pure love..

CRZNKMZMOMMA
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:16 AM

EXACTLY. BUT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK THEM UP FROM SCHOOL AND PROMISED THEM ICE CREAM AND THEN I WOULD BE HOME SHORLTY. I HAD TO RESCEDUAL THE BABYS SHOTS FOR TODAY CUZ I DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER HIM.. I SO UPSET ABOUT THIS.

Quoting lillypie2:

i think I get it...you asked him on monday if he could watch them thursday and he said it was fine but when you brought them thursday he told you you had to hurry up. Your upset because you do alot for them and when you asked in advance it was okay but when you brought them it was almost like an inconvience and he had more important things to do...I think, atleast that is what I got from it.  


Wife to loving husband... Mother of Twin boys and a beautiful baby girl.. Created out of pure love..

judybant
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:21 AM

So stop saying "yes" all the time when they ask for things. It's hard to do, I know, I've been in the same boat. I was the oldest girl after 5 boys, and I have a younger sister. I've always been the "dependable" one. Meaning, in reality, that I'd pretty much drop whatever I was doing at the time, to help others out. And then when I would need something, I'd have to make 64 calls to get some help. This only applies to my siblings, my parents have always been there for me, and have actually dropped their plans, inorder to help with my son when I was all alone with just me and him. But my siblings... ugh... I can't tell you how many times I watched their kids so they could work or go out... and then when I need someone, "sorry, I've got plans"... talk about being pissed.

But the only way to stop the cycle is to stop saying "yes". Make up something, if you don't actualy have something going on. But once you're no longer available at the drop of a hat, they'll start asking questions. Write these instances down somewhere, and when they ask why you're not so helpful, then pull out your list and say, "well, let's see... On jan. 12, you said you'd watch the boys for me on THursday, but when Thursday came around, you tried to rush me, saying you had more important things to do... on Jan. 16... blah blah blah... etc...  

CRZNKMZMOMMA
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:24 AM

YOU GET IT.... i JUST WANT TO BE APPRECIACTED FOR WHAT I DO FOR THEM. IF I SAY NO TO THEM I GET THE GUNS PULLED!!! MY GRANDMOTHER CALL ME UPSET TO STOP FIGHTING WITH MY DAD AND MY DAD YELLS AT ME FOR SAYING NO TO MY BROTHER. iT JUST SEEM LIKE AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK.

Quoting judybant:

So stop saying "yes" all the time when they ask for things. It's hard to do, I know, I've been in the same boat. I was the oldest girl after 5 boys, and I have a younger sister. I've always been the "dependable" one. Meaning, in reality, that I'd pretty much drop whatever I was doing at the time, to help others out. And then when I would need something, I'd have to make 64 calls to get some help. This only applies to my siblings, my parents have always been there for me, and have actually dropped their plans, inorder to help with my son when I was all alone with just me and him. But my siblings... ugh... I can't tell you how many times I watched their kids so they could work or go out... and then when I need someone, "sorry, I've got plans"... talk about being pissed.

But the only way to stop the cycle is to stop saying "yes". Make up something, if you don't actualy have something going on. But once you're no longer available at the drop of a hat, they'll start asking questions. Write these instances down somewhere, and when they ask why you're not so helpful, then pull out your list and say, "well, let's see... On jan. 12, you said you'd watch the boys for me on THursday, but when Thursday came around, you tried to rush me, saying you had more important things to do... on Jan. 16... blah blah blah... etc...  


Wife to loving husband... Mother of Twin boys and a beautiful baby girl.. Created out of pure love..

judybant
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:25 AM


Quoting CRZNKMZMOMMA:

EXACTLY. BUT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK THEM UP FROM SCHOOL AND PROMISED THEM ICE CREAM AND THEN I WOULD BE HOME SHORLTY. I HAD TO RESCEDUAL THE BABYS SHOTS FOR TODAY CUZ I DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER HIM.. I SO UPSET ABOUT THIS.

 

you did NOT have to reschedule the appointment... you CHOSE to do that. He said he'd watch them, so make him stand on his word! Now, I think I see what happens. You ask, he says, "okay", then gives you the bums rush, you get "hurt", and reschedule stuff so that he doesn't ACTUALLY have to watch them, and that way, you get to feel like the martyr, because he "never watches the boys" for you when you need him to. Seriously... I know exactly how this plays out. I used to do the same shit. But when someone tells you that they'll do something for you, and then complains about it, DO NOT LISTEN TO THE COMPLAINING! Just make them stand up for their word, and follow through! YOU are allowing him to be this way. I'll bet this same scenario has played out dozens of times... and he knows you'll back down, so he'll play the game every time. Guaranteed!

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