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Breastfeeding kills marriages!

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:10 AM
  • 60 Replies

This article was posted in a group I fanned on Facebook!
There is a part 2 called "Dads, be there but don't watch" about giving birth! I can't bring myself to read it!
This article is untrue and pretty sad! If my husband thought of me as a "piece of flesh" as this article suggests that is how it should be, THAT would kill my sex life, not nursing our child.
We are only a half "American" marriage, but I have to disagree that sex is dead in marriage! It is rare for us to go without sex ever! We have to be pretty darn sick to not want eachother after 4 years of marriage!
I understand how hard it is after having a child to balance being a wife and mom. But breastfeeding is hardly to be blamed!
A new mother is exhausted and has sleepless nights if she is getting up to nurse or make a bottle!

What are your thoughts on this?


 

Quote:

The science section of The New York Times recently featured a lengthy study on breast-feeding and its benefits. Breast-feeding, the study found, helps reduce the chances of infection, cold, diarrhea, illness, and even later childhood obesity. No one argues with any of these benefits, but what the report neglects to mention, and what I have personally witnessed when counseling couples, is how breast-feeding can come between a husband and wife.

One of the episodes of "Shalom in the Home" this season featured a young couple in Pennsylvania who were madly in love when they married, but had slowly drifted apart after the birth of two children. Indeed, a Harvard University study maintains that a couples' love life decreases by 74 percent in the first year after the birth of a child. Now, given that sex is nearly dead in the American bedroom anyway, with national sex rates in marriage figuring at about once a week, a three-quarters decrease means that sex takes place once every few months—sparse pickings indeed.

With this particular couple, the situation was even worse. Their sex life had died completely, and one of the main causes was the mother's obsession with breast-feeding well into the child's eleventh month. The baby was attached to his mother like a limb, and he even slept with her every night, consigning her husband to a different bedroom.

I told the mother that in being so devoted to her son, she had committed the cardinal sin of marriage, which is to put someone else before her spouse, even if that someone is your child. Furthermore, I said, her obsession had turned one of her most attractive body parts into a feeding station, an attractive cafeteria rather than a scintillating piece of flesh.

In my book "Kosher Adultery," I make the point that infidelity is primarily a sin of omission rather than commission. It is not the bad thing you do that destroys a marriage, but all the good that you fail to do, preoccupied as you are with a sinful relationship that diverts your attention away from your spouse. Similarly, with the example of breast-feeding, a wife who spends a year giving all her emotional and physical affection to the baby has left her marriage a barren wasteland, bereft of romance and affection.

Obviously, breast-feeding is not the same as carrying on an extramarital affair. But when a mother gives her breasts to her son and takes them away from her husband, the effect on the marriage can feel the same.

I am surprised that when scientists discuss all the benefits of breast-feeding, they neglect its most negative consequence. If breast-feeding gets in the way of the marriage—if it means that a husband and wife never go out on dates, or that the mother is so tired from always waking up with the baby that she has no energy to ever be intimate with her husband—the child will probably end up worse off, however many colds or bouts with diarrhea he now avoids.


*Edit* forgot to link article: http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Relationships/2006/07/Moms-Dont-Forget-To-Feed-Your-Marriages.aspx?p=1
 

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ajjs1972
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:13 AM

sounds like the article was written by a man.

a stupid, idiotic man.

amber_1024
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:13 AM

I disagree with the article. 

Who wrote that??  

cypris420
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:13 AM

That is one of the most ignorant things about breastfeeding I've ever read.  Horrible.

isra1986
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:15 AM

Yeah, it was!

Quoting ajjs1972:

sounds like the article was written by a man.

a stupid, idiotic man.


Mamie_85
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:16 AM

LOL, i'm sorry but her "obsession with breastfeeding well into the 11th month" part made me crack up, seriously. how many pediatrician's recomend bf at least for 12 months?

i nursed my youngest for 13 months and it did NOT kill my sex life at all. and this one i plan of bf for even longer if i can, i don't think our sex life will suffer.

this whole article was crap and obviously written by a man or a woman-hating woman.


 

Quoting cypris420:

That is one of the most ignorant things about breastfeeding I've ever read.  Horrible.

 

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Idiosyncratic
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:18 AM

hmm, I wonder if this actually is men's point of view....

or how many men share this point of view?

isra1986
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:18 AM

I am still nursing at almost 23 months. I am not complaining about my sex life at all!!!!

Quoting Mamie_85:

LOL, i'm sorry but her "obsession with breastfeeding well into the 11th month" part made me crack up, seriously. how many pediatrician's recomend bf at least for 12 months?

i nursed my youngest for 13 months and it did NOT kill my sex life at all. and this one i plan of bf for even longer if i can, i don't think our sex life will suffer.

this whole article was crap and obviously written by a man or a woman-hating woman.


 

Quoting cypris420:

That is one of the most ignorant things about breastfeeding I've ever read.  Horrible.

 


Paesana82
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:19 AM

Wow. That's really dumb.

I've been BF and/or prego since 2006....I would say that our marriage has gotten better.

i'm with you Isra, it's not BF to blame but having a baby can be stressful to a relationship.

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mommaponch
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:19 AM

Makes me sick to my stomach!  My husband and I have a great sexual relationship, we have a great emotional relationship, we have been married for almost five years, I have been nursing for over two years.  Our relationship was actually much rockier when our middle was a baby and she was bottle fed.  There are ways to be intimate, even if the breasts can't be touched (we have no problem in that area but I know some nursing mothers do)

That article really truly makes me want to throw up .... taking your breasts away from your husband and giving them to your child .... eeeew

isra1986
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:20 AM

My husband read the article with me and laughed!

Quoting Idiosyncratic:

hmm, I wonder if this actually is men's point of view....

or how many men share this point of view?


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