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How do i tell my son that losing his girlfriend of a year really isn't that big of a deal?

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:01 PM
  • 57 Replies

I mean i guess it is a big deal but he is only 18 years old. And in a way this is his first love he took this girl seriously while none of the others. Not to mention i also kind of thought she was the one to. After my son's ex was cheating on him and signed away all of her rights to there two year old son and dumped him on my son. Now please don't misunderstand me i love my grandson dearly i just hate his mom. But anywho last night was a horrid night for my son first he gets in his first car wreck. Some old guy wasn't paying attention and pulled out and then saw a big truck coming from the other way. And decided to stop dead, right in front of my son. Luckily he wasn't hurt just really shaken. And then later that night his girlfriend broke up with him Via Texting and you know what really urks me is her reason. She broke up with my son because he isn't circumcised. And What the fuck kind of reason is that. UGH, and my son was crying so hard last night that he puked he hasn't been out of bed all day and its going on 11.  I feel so incredily helpless.

It is not how you fall down it is how you pick yourself back up that matters in the end.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kizbee
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:05 PM

Oh no.  Poor kid.  I don't think you can tell him it's not a big deal, because to him it is.  It sounds like he's had his heart broken a couple of times already in his life.  Just be there for him.  And tell him that anyone that would break up with him for not being circ'd isn't worth his time anyways.  She's a shallow and immature if that was her reason. 

lyranightshade
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:06 PM

Don't tell him it's not that big of a deal. Yes, it IS that big of a deal! First of all, he's a single dad. He's a TEENAGED single dad. Second of all, he's still just a teenager, momma. Don't you remember being a teen? Everything was life or death. He's probably terrified of never finding love because of his single parenthood title.. I know it freaked me and I was in my twenties. Give him time to mourn for the effort and love he invested for a FULL YEAR, not an easy feat at 18, not to mention when he's got a SON to care for on top of that. Validate him, tell him you know how badly he's hurting, that it feels like his heart should stop because it hurts so bad. But also remind him that you're on his team and that you'll help him pick up the pieces. Be supportive. Let him have a day to wallow in self pity. Sometimes, we need that day to wallow and your his mommy, regardless. Be there for him. Let him KNOW that you'll always be there for him, but also remind him that he's a dad and he has to be strong.. not for him, but for his child. It's not an easy thing to place on your child's shoulders, but I'm proud of him for being able to do it. Obviously,he's been doing it for a while now and I have to say, KUDOS to him, for being that type of man. You need to go in and baby him, bring him hot chocolate, cuddles and take your grandson for a few hours so he can shower and have some quiet time to collect himself. Don't you dare tell him it's not that big of a deal. His whole world is crashing down. While it might not seem like that big of a deal to you, it certainly is to him and no one wants to hear that their pain isn't 'real'.

lyranightshade
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:07 PM

She's not even giving the real reason if she said she's breaking up with him b/c he's not circ'd. She didn't have a problem with it a year ago. More than likely, the parenthood thing scared her or she's met someone else. I know girls like that. Hell, I know GUYS like that.

Quoting Kizbee:

Oh no.  Poor kid.  I don't think you can tell him it's not a big deal, because to him it is.  It sounds like he's had his heart broken a couple of times already in his life.  Just be there for him.  And tell him that anyone that would break up with him for not being circ'd isn't worth his time anyways.  She's a shallow and immature if that was her reason. 


mommy_lisa25
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:08 PM

Awww, poor boy. It is a big deal to him, just try and comfort him. But ya, I'd be ticked about the reason she broke up with him too. I'm sure it was something else but she just didn't want to say.

neenerashley
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:09 PM

Poor guy! Sounds like he's had it pretty rough. Dont tell him its not a big deal just remind him he's gotta move on for his baby! Id give him awhile to sulk. We've all been broken hearted teens, its not fun.





Kizbee
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:12 PM

That's kind of what I was thinking too.  But, maybe since he has a kid, they waited to have sex, because he didn't want to end up with another baby.... and then she freaked out.  It's possible.  Not likely, I'm sure, but possible.

Quoting lyranightshade:

She's not even giving the real reason if she said she's breaking up with him b/c he's not circ'd. She didn't have a problem with it a year ago. More than likely, the parenthood thing scared her or she's met someone else. I know girls like that. Hell, I know GUYS like that.

Quoting Kizbee:

Oh no.  Poor kid.  I don't think you can tell him it's not a big deal, because to him it is.  It sounds like he's had his heart broken a couple of times already in his life.  Just be there for him.  And tell him that anyone that would break up with him for not being circ'd isn't worth his time anyways.  She's a shallow and immature if that was her reason. 



lil_Army_Wife05
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:13 PM

You tell him that time will heal his heart. There is that perfect woman on there for him and he will find her. This girl just wasn't it. But whatever you do don't tell him it's no big deal. Tell him to focus on his son for now. Don't trash talk her to him either, that only makes things worse.

ErikaM27
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:16 PM

Well he'll have to learn on his own. It's what life is about you have to go through the shitty ones to get to " THE ONE" these are lessons he has to learn in life and well sometimes it hurts. He'll be ok after some time he's very young.  Obviously she's not the one for him if he's breaking up with him for that. He deserves better...

Crazy-Steph
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:16 PM

Exactly.  You can't tell him how to feel.  Just be there for him.

Quoting mommy_lisa25:

Awww, poor boy. It is a big deal to him, just try and comfort him. But ya, I'd be ticked about the reason she broke up with him too. I'm sure it was something else but she just didn't want to say.


knepppi
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:17 PM


Quoting lyranightshade:

Don't tell him it's not that big of a deal. Yes, it IS that big of a deal! First of all, he's a single dad. He's a TEENAGED single dad. Second of all, he's still just a teenager, momma. Don't you remember being a teen? Everything was life or death. He's probably terrified of never finding love because of his single parenthood title.. I know it freaked me and I was in my twenties. Give him time to mourn for the effort and love he invested for a FULL YEAR, not an easy feat at 18, not to mention when he's got a SON to care for on top of that. Validate him, tell him you know how badly he's hurting, that it feels like his heart should stop because it hurts so bad. But also remind him that you're on his team and that you'll help him pick up the pieces. Be supportive. Let him have a day to wallow in self pity. Sometimes, we need that day to wallow and your his mommy, regardless. Be there for him. Let him KNOW that you'll always be there for him, but also remind him that he's a dad and he has to be strong.. not for him, but for his child. It's not an easy thing to place on your child's shoulders, but I'm proud of him for being able to do it. Obviously,he's been doing it for a while now and I have to say, KUDOS to him, for being that type of man. You need to go in and baby him, bring him hot chocolate, cuddles and take your grandson for a few hours so he can shower and have some quiet time to collect himself. Don't you dare tell him it's not that big of a deal. His whole world is crashing down. While it might not seem like that big of a deal to you, it certainly is to him and no one wants to hear that their pain isn't 'real'.

very Wise

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