Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

worried about having an ugly baby...

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:29 PM
  • 22 Replies

okay SO is not DS biological father but biofather is completely out of the picture, never even seen DS and SO and i have been together since DS was born. anyways, we think our little DS is just the cutest thing ever put on this world. SO keeps saying things like "well we know if our next kid is ugly who it came from" or "what if i cause us to have an ugly baby or retarded baby" (he says retarded and i correct him so think what you will of that) anyways, i know that everyone loves their babies and think they are the cutest little things ever but what if we have baby with something wrong with it physically or mentally? he is going to go around blaming himself all of the time. i dont want to deal with that, i want him to accept our children how they are and love them the same.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
lovinmykiddo07
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:31 PM

Wow, so is he just joking when he says these things? I'd be pissed if anyone said that about my baby! Who cares what your baby looks like? He's your baby & your going to love him/her reguardless of looks or disabilities. If he cant love & accept them then maybe he's not right for you?





ProudMom9799
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:34 PM

he shouldnt blame himself - genetics is a very complex thing. all 3 of my kids have blue or hazel eys - DH has brown nd i have hazel. i thought for sure they would all be brown eyed cause i remebered that was a dominant trait.  

and not all newborns are cute - my daughter wasn't...it took a couple weeks b4 she was cute. poor thing came out with so much hair on her - i thought she was a little monkey..lol

RiverPhenix
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:35 PM

God only gives you what you can handle. Have you ever been around a child with a disability? They are sooo wonderful. A child is a gift from God and should be taken as such.

exceptalilfish
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:37 PM

he is joking, but i am worried about what if we do have a child with something wrong with it? he really will blame himself forever!

Quoting lovinmykiddo07:

Wow, so is he just joking when he says these things? I'd be pissed if anyone said that about my baby! Who cares what your baby looks like? He's your baby & your going to love him/her reguardless of looks or disabilities. If he cant love & accept them then maybe he's not right for you?


mommasbabies77
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:38 PM
First of all, he sounds like he has some major self esteem problems.

You know how you looked at your son and how he is the most precious thing in the world and that's how you will feel about this next one. When my hubby found out about my son's autism, he blamed himself for not doing something wrong. He worried that he caused his autism or something. He worried that he'd never play ball with Matthew or go to a football game with him. He was worried that he could never love him as much because he wasn't perfect. You should see them now. The bond is amazing and he will proudly tell you that his son is autistic and that he is so proud of him. Matthew's autism has been a blessing in more than one way. My point is when the baby is born no matter what is wrong..he's going to be crazy about it and even if there is a problem, he may blame himself for a bit..that's kinda a guy thing I think but once he bonds with him..you just can't see the imperfection anymore.

Don't worry..he'll be fine and you'll have a baby that you'll both love and be intensely proud of regardless of what the baby is or looks like. GL


lovinmykiddo07
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:38 PM

Well then maybe he shouldnt say those things! haha jk.

Quoting exceptalilfish:

he is joking, but i am worried about what if we do have a child with something wrong with it? he really will blame himself forever!

Quoting lovinmykiddo07:

Wow, so is he just joking when he says these things? I'd be pissed if anyone said that about my baby! Who cares what your baby looks like? He's your baby & your going to love him/her reguardless of looks or disabilities. If he cant love & accept them then maybe he's not right for you?







mommasbabies77
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:39 PM
Quoting RiverPhenix:

God only gives you what you can handle. Have you ever been around a child with a disability? They are sooo wonderful. A child is a gift from God and should be taken as such.




I know you mean well...but omg i hate that saying. God only gives you what you can handle. I don't believe that and I never will. But, you're right children are a gift from god.


exceptalilfish
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:39 PM

thank you! that was very sweet

Quoting mommasbabies77:

First of all, he sounds like he has some major self esteem problems.

You know how you looked at your son and how he is the most precious thing in the world and that's how you will feel about this next one. When my hubby found out about my son's autism, he blamed himself for not doing something wrong. He worried that he caused his autism or something. He worried that he'd never play ball with Matthew or go to a football game with him. He was worried that he could never love him as much because he wasn't perfect. You should see them now. The bond is amazing and he will proudly tell you that his son is autistic and that he is so proud of him. Matthew's autism has been a blessing in more than one way. My point is when the baby is born no matter what is wrong..he's going to be crazy about it and even if there is a problem, he may blame himself for a bit..that's kinda a guy thing I think but once he bonds with him..you just can't see the imperfection anymore.

Don't worry..he'll be fine and you'll have a baby that you'll both love and be intensely proud of regardless of what the baby is or looks like. GL


exceptalilfish
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:40 PM

he is the kind of guy to say off the wall things so yeah he shouldnt say them! because they get me all worried.

Quoting lovinmykiddo07:

Well then maybe he shouldnt say those things! haha jk.

Quoting exceptalilfish:

he is joking, but i am worried about what if we do have a child with something wrong with it? he really will blame himself forever!

Quoting lovinmykiddo07:

Wow, so is he just joking when he says these things? I'd be pissed if anyone said that about my baby! Who cares what your baby looks like? He's your baby & your going to love him/her reguardless of looks or disabilities. If he cant love & accept them then maybe he's not right for you?




tha-hawt-mommie
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:41 PM

i dont think he should worry about having a child w/ a disability ... although i dont believe in god , i do agree w/ people when they say "he" doesnt give u anything u cant handle. .i believe if u cannot handle a child like that it wont happen. my dr told me harmoni would have downs ... and right then i scheduled and abortion , bc i couldnt do it. but they informed me later that night , that the measurements were off bc my LMP was in the computer wrong ... so that was good news for me. SO never told me if he would have been able to handle it or not , but ever since he got the news that day , he wasnt his self all day , and even helped me schedule my apt at the clinic in the city ...

as for the 'ugly baby' alot of people say their babies are ugly when they're born lol ... i know i didnt think my daughter was gorgeous when i had her ... but she was pretty to me ... now shes drop dead gorgeous lol ... jk but she is a damn cutie now! when she was born she had jaundice (sp) and red splotches on her face ... but i loved her ... and as the days went on they splotches and jaundice (sp) went away


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)