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OH CRAP! **UPDATE with some serious bullsh*t. HELP Child abuse situation *another update*UPDATE from this morning

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:51 PM
  • 153 Replies

My post is too long I have to condense the story for anybody new reading this. My sons grilfriend has psycho abusive parents. I came home one night from work and she was alseep on my couch. Told me her fatehr attacked her again. She called 911 and they did nothing again.

So everything that follows has been our battle since then. Her parents kicked her out. she was going to live with me until she left for college..

so me and the girl and my son were having dinner when the mom called. she said Amanda has to come home. I talked to mom for awhile and got her to admit the abuse and how bad it really is. she said she will call me back. when she called back she had the dad in the background threatening me with cops and kidnapping. i stood firm and told them my address so they could send cops over. NO WAY IN HELL WAS I GIVING AN ABUSE VICTIM BACK TO THE ABUSER!

so i hung and called the cops myself. the same cop that showed  up at their house last night. the cop spoke to us and we unleashed all the violence that has happened EVERYTHING. so they went over to their house and then came back and said amanda has 2 choices. either go home now or go to grammas. her oldest brother would come get her and take her to grammas. oldest brother is daddy's Little puppet. the cops said that we were all lieing and they could see no sign of abuse. that everybody at the other house had held firm that there has never been abuse and amanda is over reacting because mom and dad want her to break up with my son. OH HELL NO. that is NOT what any of this is about. the fuckers had my son over for dinner 2 nights ago. my lord these people are master manipulators.

so the oldest boy shows up. I ask him are you really taking her to grammas. he side stepped the answer. "oh uh well i guess i'm supposed to take amanda somewhere" OMG i was livid. I told the cops"I knew this was a set up you are giving her back to the abuser. you fucking morons. what the hell does he have to do before you realize it!" amanda freaked started screaming no please just take me to juvi. the cop said that wouldnt be good for her. AND SENDING HER TO GET KILLED IS!

I'm so upset for this child right now. I really wish the abuse didn't exist and this was all a bad dream/ Iv'e seen it happen. I ahve been witness to it. We have called the cops several times. but every time they show up there are no marks and the mom and the other 2 kids lie. Nobody lets amanda speak. So after her finally having enough abuse she called for help and NOTHING NOT A DAMN THING happens to help her.

I handed her my cell phone on her way out.  In front of the cops. I told her you call 911 you don't let him come after you. You have made it this far. I don't know why they won't help you.

Her fuckign oldest brother stood there liek a piece of shit and kept saying "there isn't any abuse. you knwo my family why are you doing this" OMG my son and the girl friend of the other brother both chimed in at the same time"why the hell are you lieing." then it went on into you know you are lieing. Why would you do that. you know what he does and now you are just as bad as him. You are now allowing this. you will be the one left explaining when he finally kills your mom or your sister. you are a sorry pathetic person. -man my son rocks.

so they left. I made one of the cops follow them to make sure she really went to grammas. The other cop stayed here for a minute and answered our questions. he kept saying i understand your frustration. NO YOU DON'T. i asked him about the gun incident. he said it's not illegal to fire a gun in city limits. So my son said "ok who wants goose for dinner. i'm gonna sit on the roof tomorrow. sounds liek a plan" the cop said i wouldn't advise that. My son said i have a license and tag and you just told me i can shoot in city limits. so what.

The cop kept tellign me he has been doing his job for many years and he'd rather let a guilty man go then arrest an innocnet one. WTF!

This girl is in danger. serious danger. CPS hasn't done shit. cops havn't done anything. NOBODY is helping her. I have witnessed the abuse. I have seen him attack her. My DH and I have pulled him off of her more than once. And called the cops. My Fucking hell what do we do?

I have ZERO faith in the system right now. Who is there to help this girl? How does somebody save her if all the people put in place to save her DON'T. He's going to kill her. And now he knows he can get away with it. He has been given all the power. He has gotten past the cops soooo many times. He knows they won't touch him. He is the perfect abuser. HIs wife won't turn on him his own boys are scared to tell the truth. now we have a girl screaming for help and getting shit on.

I'm in tears. Somebody needs to help this child.


This morning has been full of phone calls. I finally got somebody to help. Health and welfare is going to file guardianship for gramma. As long as Amanda is with a blood relative she can't be considered a runaway and the parents told the cops she could either go home or to grammas. So they messed their game up right there. Dad figured if he could eliminate me as a safe palce for her then she would have to go back to him. NOPE. He had banned gramma from the family over Christmas. HE figured Amanda would follow his rule and not go to gramma, WRONG.

Gramma is on the phone with them now telling everything. This is not the first time gramma has contacted H n W about the family. Hopefully something will finally get done.

The lady I spoke with this morning apologized over and over again for the police not doing their job. She said she went thru the same thign a few years back and her gramma was the one that saved her. She knew all teh steps we would have to take. It's about damn time somebody helped us.

I will continue with updates as I get them. Having all of this on here is also documentation for us to use.

We have a problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Health and welfare told gramma if the parents want her home she has to go home. Gramma has to hire an attorney. I have called several people today to get help and nobody can do anything unless there is physical evidence of abuse. OMG. we are told all the time if you are in an abusive situation get help. Here is a girl screaming for help and all the legal authorities are doing nothing. The person I u spoke with told me raising teenagers is hard and sometimes things get out of hand. OMG she works for the domestic violence shelter. I am livid over that. . OMG.

I have a call into the school counselor to see if she can get health and welfare to listen. No promises. I am trying I really am. I'm hitting road blocks. Gramma is too.

This is not a pissed off teen. This girl has been held at gun point. Her family is so warped by this guy that nobody will turn him in. It took many years for Amanda to get the balls to do this. And now she is going to have to go back. I have a bad feeling she will run away if told to go home. In fact I know she will. She told the cops last night she will break a law to be put in juvi because she would be safer there.

Update 01/20

Amanda is still with gramma. So far. I have looked every which direction and screamed to anybody that will listen. The school did take a report and sent it to health and welfare. We'll see. Amanda has a meeting with a counselor in the morning. It's the same one she saw a few months back and lied to. So we will see if this can do something. I'm now trying to find a lawyer that will help her and not charge an arm and a leg. None of us have the money to do that. She spent a few hours with me after school today waiting for gramma to come get her. I taught her some basic self defense moves. I gave her a book yesterday and she wanted to try some things that she knew her father would do if given the chance. She is learning to fight back. She also has it in her head that if she goes back she will make sure there are marks on her when she calls the cops even if that means taking a beating or purposely falling into a wall face first.

I cant' believe it might come to that. What the hell is wrong with our system?

Amanda is still with gramma. She spoke with the counselor she lied to in August. He told her to NEVER go back to that house. He is raising hell with health and welfare child services. Hopefully this gets somewhere, The school has also filed a report.

I just hung up with a victim coordinator from the prosecutors office and raised hell with her. She was reading over the police report and kept saying "i don't understand" She is going to the prosecutor right now and discussing all of this. She told me to keep Amanda away from the father for as long as possible while she does what she can on her end. She is also going to contact health and welfare to follow up to see if they are really going to do something. Amanda may end up in foster care. Amanda is ok with that. she has 17 months until she is 18. Gramma is trying to gather enough money to get guardianship of her. I wish I had the money to give her for this. 

I will continue to keep you all updated. If she ends up having to go back to her father we will end up witha CM revolt

Feb 10 update

I have been loaded with tons on PMs about Amanda. I am so sorry I have not posted an update sooner. I finally have something to tell all of you!

Nothing good by any means but nothing bad. Amanda is holding strong. Things are still in the waiting game. CPS is doing a full investigation. However, there is nobody ever home to answer when they come knocking and nobody answers the phones unless they know who it is. So avoiding it all together might make it go away seems to be the parents thinking.

Her parents have completely alienated Amanda from everybody. She is no lnger allowed to have her cell phone. They moniter all her internet usage.She is on very strict rules. It's insane. It's a typical abuser profile. We know it will happen again, it's just a waiting game.

He controls everything. Now I know parents of teens have to have some control, well parents of children in general. But there is a line being crossed.

Amanda calls me every few days from school to let me know whats up. She said her parents said they are doing me a favor by NOT pressing kidnapping charges on me. OMG I about peed myself laughing.

Please you horrible horrible people don't do me any favors. I welcome the charges, at least then the family would be in the courts! PLease press kidnapping. You dumb fucks gave her to me!

So if I get kidnapping charges or anything and I mean anything happens to Amanda I will be here screaming the story to the world! She has read this post and all of the replies and says thank you from the bottom of her heart. She knows there are people out there that do care. Why can't any of you live here and work in our messed up system?


My life story can't be a LIFETIME movie...It has to be

                                         a

                                 mini-series!

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KatherineM
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:54 PM

That is so sad that she has had to go through that. But Im glad she is now in a safe home.


CoUrtNEyLeE
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:55 PM

Good for you for taking her in! Just set rules and be very clear on them she sounds like a good girl!!!!

southernjess3
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:58 PM

i know a couple who had to do this..except it was the boyfriend who they adopted. They never had any problems with the kids living together..good for you!

CafeMom Tickers

little.miss.mom
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 12:58 PM

That's great of you to take her in just make sure you make the rules very clear. My mother did this for my sisters now ex husband when they were in junior high.

skybluchick
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:02 PM

well im glad that u took her in and she is out of that mess that she was in and i hope that all goes good with the rules.

lovinmykiddo07
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:09 PM

Thank you for helping that poor girl get out of a terrible situation. When I was in HS I almost moved in with my (then) boyfriend's parents. His uncle was a cop & had told his mom that my dad's house was being watched by the police. One of my dad's friends was a big time meth dealer. Everyone one the streets knew it but the police never caught it with him, it didnt help that his brother was the sherriff. Anyway, they offered to let me stay with them because they didnt wnat me to be there if the cops were to raid the house & stuff were to go down. Luckily it never came to that & my dad has been clean for over 2 years now. But anyway, I just know what its like to be in that girl's shoes & I'm glad that I had someone to help me.





tretresmom
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:09 PM

I can't beleive the cops did nothing that is crazy.  Anyway  good luck with everything. 

hatinnd
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:12 PM

Is he a cop or something?  It was my understanding that if there's any kind of abuse that SOMEBODY'S going to jail??  A friend of mine spent a nite in jail for throwing a glass at her husband because it hit his arm!!     Something's not right in this situation.

BUT you're a great person for being there for the girl.  The thing that would really get messy is - if (or when) her and your son break up - THAT'S gonna be awkward!! 

I was born too late....    I woulda been a damn good hippie!

monkeysmom21006
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:12 PM

WOW! I admire you for stepping in. That is insane! Poor girl...

Christy644
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 1:16 PM

No the guy isn't a cop. He's just a silver tongued devil. He fired a gun new years eve the cops showed up and didn't get arrested. He's insane! He held a gun to my husbands head and still nothing.

The man is beyond the needs help stage. It's been a downward spiral for awhile. The mom today tells me "this is going to be a wakup call for her (referring the the daughter) she has no phone no car no drivers license. We gave her everything." My reply. "i really hope this ends up a wake up call for you! She doesn't need all the material things you gave her to keep her mouth shut this while time. What she needs are stable parents. One that doesn't beat the hell out of her because she had sex before she was maried. She needs a parent that's sober. She needs a parent to protet her. She isn't getting that here. You also need help. I really hope you understand how strong she is for having the back bone to finally say enough"


Quoting hatinnd:

Is he a cop or something?  It was my understanding that if there's any kind of abuse that SOMEBODY'S going to jail??  A friend of mine spent a nite in jail for throwing a glass at her husband because it hit his arm!!     Something's not right in this situation.

BUT you're a great person for being there for the girl.  The thing that would really get messy is - if (or when) her and your son break up - THAT'S gonna be awkward!! 


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