Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

S/O of Child Support Post... SUCK IT! ***ANOTHER edit in BLUE***

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:53 PM
  • 399 Replies

WHY does it always come down to it being every one's fault OTHER than BM?????

"DH should stop having kids if he can't afford them"

"Stepmom should get a second job, or NOT be a SAHM"

How about BM actually getting off her ass to help support HER children?????? WTF? I know, right? What AM I THINKING?????

DH used to pay CS. Yep... used to. BM actually signed over rights so she could follow a boy out of state! LOL!!! What a dead beat POS!

BM got preggers and told DH she cheated and the baby wasn't his! Fast forward about 12 months... BM orders a DNA test because daddy #1 turned out to  not be SS's father. Between the time DH graduates from college and gets the phone call "yes, you are the father..." he buys a new car, goes on vacations, racks up credit card bills... AND get's engaged to ME... the person he wanted to have kids with.

He almost went bankrupt because the stupid fucking judge ordered him to pay $500 a month even though BM *DIDN'T* work...she attended college classes for like 3 hours a week and lived in subsidized student housing, was on food stamps and public health. So in addition to CS, DH also drove 3 hours every weekend to build a relationship with a child he didn't even know was legally his until he was almost a year old... would pay for hotel and bring diapers, food AND clothes because BIO BITCH wouldn't get or hold down a job!

I'm sorry... I'm so sick of hearing the cliche comments "he should have kept his pants on" or "sm should stop complaining and get a job!"

ARGHHHH!!!  You judgemental assholes get on my nerves!

 

I'd just like to give a shout out to all of those ladies who know EXACTLY what I'm talking about! It seems there are more of us out there than some would like to believe. No, this didn't happen to me... it happened to DH, who I love very much. He has proven to be a wonderful husband and an even better father. My children (yes... SS is one of MY children) are lucky to have such a loving dad who would do anything for them.

That being said, there are a lot of GOOD men who are continually screwed by BM and the court system because of the sterotypical dead beats who don't support their children. Unfortunately, it's those men who give our  husbands a bad name. And because of that bad name, there are those who believe every problem in a blended family stems from SM wanting more or DH not wanting to pay.

I would also like to say, for the record, that I'm disappointed in some of you who continue to blame DH for the entire situation because he wasn't more careful about who he slept with. And then there are those of you who seem to think he should have prepared himself financially over the 21 month period, from conception to DNA confirmation, and not spent money or gotten himself in the debt that nearly caused him to go bankrupt once the $500 (up to $600) a month CS payment took effect. The fact is she told DH it wasn't his. He asked for a prenatal DNA test... she refused because she was 100% positive it wasn't his. The point is, he tried.

So to all of you who are just as bitter as day old coffee... I'm sorry you had to get the shit end of the stick. But stop defending dead beat moms like it's not even possible for them to exist. Stop finding cop outs and back handed ways to blame the father for everything. Take responsibility for the situation YOU helped create!

Thats all ;-) Thx!

I just want to know if I'm the only person who noticed this...

When DH is custodial parent, he could  almost care less about receiving child support... he's just happy to have the kid! Meaning, when BM doesn't pay, he doesn't go for her jugular?

For several Bio Moms that are CP, her life depends on CS and if given the chance she will make bio dad just as miserable as can be to get every last cent? (*not saying mom's dont deserve CS... many do.. but there are some that go about it the wrong way and use their child as a tool in the process)

Just an observation I found very interesting.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:53 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
abstractmommy
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:55 PM

I'm sure we'll both get slammed but I agree with you.

If you're a mom in need or want to help needy mommies, please join my giveaway group! Weekly diaper bag giveaways full of baby goodies, and more!




www.cafemom.com/group/giveaways4mommies

Christine0813
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:55 PM

laughing

freedomthinks
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:56 PM

 

For some of us it is simple math,  if  he cant afford the ones he has he  shouldn't make more.

     

A lil violin  to  play the sad song  

superflyinlove
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:57 PM

LMAO!  wow, tell us how you really feel!  (I agree with you by the way)

I'm a 26 year old fun loving girl. I laugh all the time - sometimes hysterically. I'm Cuban and so is the object of my affection. I can dance salsa like a pro and I also love to sing.  I'm in love with the sexiest man alive and a dedicated stepmom to his 3 little kiddos.... sticking out tongue


... you don't like me?  that's ok!  i like me enough for the both of us.. Have a nice day :)

nbr1sahm
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:57 PM


Quoting freedomthinks:

 

For some of us it is simple math,  if  he cant afford the ones he has he  shouldn't make more.

     


*SOME of us* being the key phrase! It's not the same for everyone and I get so pissed off when I see responses that are so generalized for such a personal situation!

mommyfroggy0305
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:59 PM

you rock 

Dawn Mommy to Tyler & Jeremy

Swtmama62205
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:59 PM

im just bumping this post cuz i know its gonna be a good one lol

pregnancy calendar

Stay at home mommy to two little boys Noah who is 4 and Andrew who is 2! And a loving wife to my wonderful husband Ryan=)
beadingmom17
by Rachel on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:59 PM

In your situation, I totally agree! 

Christy644
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:59 PM

Every situation is different. EVERY single one.

Quoting freedomthinks:

  

For some of us it is simple math,  if  he cant afford the ones he has he  shouldn't make more.

     


Dingleberries
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 4:59 PM

I totally agree with OP... we don't pay CS either but we took custody away from BM (well she had no choice but to give it up). But Im so sick of everyone feeling sorry for the poor ol BM. Do people not ever stop and think that maybe... JUST MAYBE.... the bm isn't doing all she could do to support HERself and child? Women who live off child support make me sick!!! GET A JOB AND STOP BLAMING YOUR EX FOR SOMETHING YOU TOOK PART OF TOO! 

PhotobucketPhotobucket
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)