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Any deep thinkers in here?

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:42 PM
  • 5 Replies

I'm reading a book called getting the love you want, I just started it but it made me think. It was saying that people who's parents were overprotective, like if a young child goes into the other room they tell the child to come back so they don't get hurt. That most of the time they grow up needing a lot of space in relationships and having a hard time committing to just one person. And if a child grows up not getting the love and support they need they tend to grow up needing a lot of affection and always be in contact with people they are in a relationship with. I am very needing of affection so I assume I didn't always get all the attention and love I needed.(I'm the youngest of 4 so it makes sense and I'm sure some people with more children give them all the attention they need) But It was also talking about how we look for a mate with our parents traits and things like that. I can remember almost nothing about when I was young. I remember a few things starting after 4thgrade, but not too much until I was around 16. Why do you think that is? Is this normal? Do you fit into these categories? What are your thoughts on this?

My main question is does anyone else not remember things from when they were little? Like before 16 years old? Is it normal or what could cause it?

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:42 PM
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Replies (1-5):
bean06162004
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:46 PM

My advice would be: don't read those ridiculous books! They generalize! I grew up without a father, my sister pretty much raised me while my mom worked three jobs. So according to those books I should be on welfare with a revolving door of men in my life. NOT TRUE!

Quit reading that crap and just be yourself.

ERNAProud
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:46 PM

I think that SOME of our problems as we get older are because of our parents, but it is up to us to get past that. 

I did use to have those issues. I was never allowed to go anywhere or do anything, nor was  I showed any affection. I did have a hard time committing to a relationship. But, I am past all of that now. It took some self help and self convincing, but I am no longer like that, I am a totally different person now.

Remember Malcolm in the Middle?  THATS what kind of a mom *I* am! 

ERNAProud
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:48 PM

I agree. They will only make you feel sorry for yourself in the long run. That is why I don't like those kinds of books. It gives people excuses for their dumb behavior.....that was not a stab at you, OP, I know what you are feeling is very real. Its just that some of those books will convince you that a child molestor is a child molestor because he had a horrible mother. Well, so did I, but I don't molest children.

Quoting bean06162004:

My advice would be: don't read those ridiculous books! They generalize! I grew up without a father, my sister pretty much raised me while my mom worked three jobs. So according to those books I should be on welfare with a revolving door of men in my life. NOT TRUE!

Quit reading that crap and just be yourself.


Remember Malcolm in the Middle?  THATS what kind of a mom *I* am! 

Wendy_June
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:51 PM

I grew up with 8 siblings and my parents raised us pretty much the same. We've all chosen different paths, we didn't all turn out the same way.

Sarah112007
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 6:52 PM


Quoting Sarah112007:

I'm reading a book called getting the love you want, I just started it but it made me think. It was saying that people who's parents were overprotective, like if a young child goes into the other room they tell the child to come back so they don't get hurt. That most of the time they grow up needing a lot of space in relationships and having a hard time committing to just one person. And if a child grows up not getting the love and support they need they tend to grow up needing a lot of affection and always be in contact with people they are in a relationship with. I am very needing of affection so I assume I didn't always get all the attention and love I needed.(I'm the youngest of 4 so it makes sense and I'm sure some people with more children give them all the attention they need) But It was also talking about how we look for a mate with our parents traits and things like that. I can remember almost nothing about when I was young. I remember a few things starting after 4thgrade, but not too much until I was around 16. Why do you think that is? Is this normal? Do you fit into these categories? What are your thoughts on this?

My main question is does anyone else not remember things from when they were little? Like before 16 years old? Is it normal or what could cause it?


I'm reading it and taking it with a grain of salt. It's a relationship guide, written by a relationship counselor. I'm trying to get an understanding of things and fix them before I decide to give up hope on SO. I'm just in the background information part right now.

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