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Hitting...

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:47 PM
  • 6 Replies

So my daughters been hitting lately. Out of Anger and sometimes just plain defiance. For example, Today, she tried to unravel all the toilet paper when we we're in the bathroom trying to go potty. I said "only a little, Delilah. Like this..." she flipped out and swung at me. So I looked her in the eyes and in a stern voice I said "It's not nice to hit, Delilah. Don't hit. Use your words". So then she hits herself, and then the wall, and then the air. You can see it in her eyes that she went from angry to defiant.

She was in daycare for one month and finished this past Friday (it just didn't work out), so i'm sure that's where she picked it up. I'm just not sure if i'm handling it the right way. How would you handle defiant behavior? I don't spank because I find it more difficult to explain why it's ok that I hit her but it's not ok that she hits me. Especially with her main issue being defiance. I just prefer not to do it.

By the way, she is 22 months old.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:47 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Just_Bethy
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:50 PM

She is a baby still...I ...when mine were small....would quickly grab their hands and hold them in mine get down eye level and say quite firmly NO! and look like you mean it....Say it loud enough to get her attention..but I didn't yell and scare them...it worked for us...but took a few times...lol 





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prego7386
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:52 PM

i would tell her "you dont hurt mommy" and put her in timeout for a minute...remember minutes are equal to age so for her it really would be just a minute. use the word HURT though instead of hit.

Kris_PBG
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:55 PM

Hitting is developmentally normal at this age (not a behavior we want to see, but normal). 

I would not be so quick to blame daycare.

Calm, stern re-direction along with teaching coping skills (we taught my older son how to do deep breaths at that age) as well as anticipating with re-direction are all helpful. 

Quoting jessicer421:

So my daughters been hitting lately. Out of Anger and sometimes just plain defiance. For example, Today, she tried to unravel all the toilet paper when we we're in the bathroom trying to go potty. I said "only a little, Delilah. Like this..." she flipped out and swung at me. So I looked her in the eyes and in a stern voice I said "It's not nice to hit, Delilah. Don't hit. Use your words". So then she hits herself, and then the wall, and then the air. You can see it in her eyes that she went from angry to defiant.

She was in daycare for one month and finished this past Friday (it just didn't work out), so i'm sure that's where she picked it up. I'm just not sure if i'm handling it the right way. How would you handle defiant behavior? I don't spank because I find it more difficult to explain why it's ok that I hit her but it's not ok that she hits me. Especially with her main issue being defiance. I just prefer not to do it.

By the way, she is 22 months old.


jessicer421
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 8:56 PM

Oh yeah. I forgot about the No! We currently have that issue too. She walks around stomping her foot and saying "I said no!".

She's also hyper. I know all 2 yr olds are, but she's not even 2 yet and she's much more hyper than the other children.

Quoting Just_Bethy:

She is a baby still...I ...when mine were small....would quickly grab their hands and hold them in mine get down eye level and say quite firmly NO! and look like you mean it....Say it loud enough to get her attention..but I didn't yell and scare them...it worked for us...but took a few times...lol 


jessicer421
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:03 PM

I just meant that children tend to act the way other's do. For instance, when I would drop her off  in the morning, we'd walk in and another child would be crying so she, in return, would start crying. She also picked up whining there. She never used to wine and one day when I went to pick her up another boy was walking around whining (from his teeth) and Delilah started mocking him. I just kept on her about it, and she hasn't done it in a while.

Thanks for the advice though. Glad to hear it's normal.

Quoting Kris_PBG:

Hitting is developmentally normal at this age (not a behavior we want to see, but normal). 

I would not be so quick to blame daycare.

Calm, stern re-direction along with teaching coping skills (we taught my older son how to do deep breaths at that age) as well as anticipating with re-direction are all helpful. 

Quoting jessicer421:

So my daughters been hitting lately. Out of Anger and sometimes just plain defiance. For example, Today, she tried to unravel all the toilet paper when we we're in the bathroom trying to go potty. I said "only a little, Delilah. Like this..." she flipped out and swung at me. So I looked her in the eyes and in a stern voice I said "It's not nice to hit, Delilah. Don't hit. Use your words". So then she hits herself, and then the wall, and then the air. You can see it in her eyes that she went from angry to defiant.

She was in daycare for one month and finished this past Friday (it just didn't work out), so i'm sure that's where she picked it up. I'm just not sure if i'm handling it the right way. How would you handle defiant behavior? I don't spank because I find it more difficult to explain why it's ok that I hit her but it's not ok that she hits me. Especially with her main issue being defiance. I just prefer not to do it.

By the way, she is 22 months old.



Kris_PBG
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 9:06 PM

Good luck - hopefully it will be a quick phase for you!  :)

Both my boys went out of it as quickly as they went into it!  :)

Quoting jessicer421:

I just meant that children tend to act the way other's do. For instance, when I would drop her off  in the morning, we'd walk in and another child would be crying so she, in return, would start crying. She also picked up whining there. She never used to wine and one day when I went to pick her up another boy was walking around whining (from his teeth) and Delilah started mocking him. I just kept on her about it, and she hasn't done it in a while.

Thanks for the advice though. Glad to hear it's normal.

Quoting Kris_PBG:

Hitting is developmentally normal at this age (not a behavior we want to see, but normal). 

I would not be so quick to blame daycare.

Calm, stern re-direction along with teaching coping skills (we taught my older son how to do deep breaths at that age) as well as anticipating with re-direction are all helpful. 

Quoting jessicer421:

So my daughters been hitting lately. Out of Anger and sometimes just plain defiance. For example, Today, she tried to unravel all the toilet paper when we we're in the bathroom trying to go potty. I said "only a little, Delilah. Like this..." she flipped out and swung at me. So I looked her in the eyes and in a stern voice I said "It's not nice to hit, Delilah. Don't hit. Use your words". So then she hits herself, and then the wall, and then the air. You can see it in her eyes that she went from angry to defiant.

She was in daycare for one month and finished this past Friday (it just didn't work out), so i'm sure that's where she picked it up. I'm just not sure if i'm handling it the right way. How would you handle defiant behavior? I don't spank because I find it more difficult to explain why it's ok that I hit her but it's not ok that she hits me. Especially with her main issue being defiance. I just prefer not to do it.

By the way, she is 22 months old.




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