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I feel like a failure as a mom...

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:19 PM
  • 12 Replies


Ok, So I took Shawn to his appointment today, and I have been in tears since. He is loosing weight, he is down more than a pound from his birthweight. He is 7lbs 3oz, so my hopes of completely breastfeeding is gone. He is doing better and getting better sleep on the formula but it still breaks my heart. I tried so hard. But, he is also Jaundiced. His billieruben? Is up and the more he eats and gains weight the better that will be. I am just, I feel lost. The good news, I talked with Kevin, and things have been alot better today, he missed being able to bound with his son. With Maggie he also got to share in the joy of feeding and holding and bonding with her, but he hasnt, (till today) been able to do that with Shawn.  So now I get to sleep tonight and he is gonna feed and deal with Shawn... I like this. Things are better. I am happy. Well happier, thankfully.
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by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:20 PM

You should not feel like a failure.  You gave it your best try! And you have to do what is best for your little one! I hope you feel better!

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by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:22 PM

hugs    You're never a failure as a mother for doing what's best for your baby!  Many women (myself included) aren't able breastfeed exclusively for a variety of reasons and it has nothing whatsoever to do with  mothering ability.  Keeping your kiddo healthy and developing well are what's most important.   

by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:22 PM

It is completey normal and typical for babies too lose weight in the first month (roughly). Up to a pound is normal. I dont know how old he is but if I were you I would find more info. before making any bf'ing choices if you do not want to stop.  Unless of course the doc said otherwise.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:25 PM

It's ok, you're not a failure. My first son stopped gaining weight while I was breastfeeding him. The Dr had me start giving him high calorie formula. Then pediasure after he was 1 yo. You're doing your best. No need to feel bad about that.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:28 PM

You shouldn't feel like a failure..When my youngest was a little over a week old I had to stop breastfeeding because my milk dried up when I got sick because I didn't eat or drink anything at all for 3 days...

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:14 PM

Thanks. I just tried so hard, and managed to do it for six days... but now he is down from 8.4 to 7.3 in six whole days... So if I kept just formula feeding it would not be good. But now his jaundice and my stress level are better. But I am still hormonal and sad.  

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by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 3:31 AM

so youre doing breastmilk and formula?  He seems to young for the moment, but at 6 months, you can add cereal tot he bottle to help with his weight gain if he is still having issues.

by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 3:39 AM

Please dont think of yourself as a failure.the same thing happend to me.I was breastfeeding trying to do the right thing and 3 days later she lost 2 pounds and then at her 10 day appt she lost 2 more.I felt HORRIBLE.I thought omg I was starving my baby and didnt even know it because she seemed full.I had to put her on formula and I felt like a failure too.It made me cry so hard when she would get diareaha(sp)because she was getting formula now.i cried everytime I had to do it.I know now it was for the best not everyone can produce enough.I tried teas,a 1500 dollar breast pump,lotions well everything and it just wouldnt come out enough.YOu are a good mother for giving the baby what he needs.Everything will be ok I promise

by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 4:32 AM

Don't worry about it, alot of moms including myself have that happen sometimes. As long as your baby is getting nutrition and is getting fed thats all that matters, right? 

by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 4:43 AM

I'm going to try and breast feed. If I'm unable so be it. 

My mom was unable... After 4 weeks I was on a bottle because I wasnt gaining weight... 

My friend went 2 weeks before her milk dried up... 

My aunt went 3 whole months before hers left her... 

It happens... 

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