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The technique we use - need opinions

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:40 PM
  • 9 Replies

I've actually posted about our system, but when I went to update it, I clicked "delete" instead,

Alright, here I go.

We use the pebble system for my s-kids (6 and 7). They haven't had the most stable life, so they have had behavioral problems. So, MIL thought of the "pebble system".

What it is is, the kids have their own jar and their own colored pebbles. When they are behaving well, they will get a pebble (there isn't a specific amount of pebbles they can get at one time, just whatever we feel they deserve). And when they are misbehaving, they have to pull out from their jar (again, no specific number of pebbles, just whatever we feel is necessary). When their jar is completely full, they get to pick a prize out of grandmas treasure chest (a big box full of goodies for them). 

Well, the problem is this - it is taking quite a long time for their jar to be filled. Not only is the jar fairly big (it takes about 220 pebbles for their jar to be filled completely), but sometimes, we forget to give them their pebbles they've deserve (and sometimes forget to actually have them pull out from their jar when they are misbehaving). So, we have basically called it a lost cause.

Well, I was on the phone w/ my mom the other day and she felt that this system would be very affective if it was thought out the right way. And thinking about it, I think she is 100% right.

So, how do you think this system should be constructed?

Sorry for the people that did reply to my old post, I didn't even get a chance to read through every reply.... but if you reply again it will be appreciated.

Thanks.


by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:40 PM
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Replies (1-9):
ff-princess
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:44 PM

you need to make it have more short-term rewards.  either use bigger beans or whatever, or make the container snaller.  you probably don't want it to hold much more than a handful. that;s the advice I got that worked best with my ADD son. 

mamivon2
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:45 PM

Maybe you can draw lines on the jar. Like 1/4, 1/2 etc. And if 1/2 is full they get a small price etc. And when the jar is full they get the BIG prize

I am swiss mom raising my kids in the usa bilingual
SteelerMom728
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:46 PM

maybe a star chart with stickers? like 10 stars gets a small prize and keep building on it, if they're good for a longer period of time, they get bigger and bigger prizes

Lilypie First Birthday tickers
SnoBuny
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:50 PM

I think it is a good concept it just needs to be a quicker turn around for the rewards(positives).

We do daily and weekly. If they do their chores, their homework and have good attitudes they earn time on the computer, t.v., x.box etc. If they do extras they get extra time. One stipulation is that they have outside time and of course their activities/sports.
Weekly is a treat like a movie rental, dinner of their choice, desert, etc.

jenny198356
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:52 PM


Quoting americaztopmami:

I've actually posted about our system, but when I went to update it, I clicked "delete" instead,

Alright, here I go.

We use the pebble system for my s-kids (6 and 7). They haven't had the most stable life, so they have had behavioral problems. So, MIL thought of the "pebble system".

What it is is, the kids have their own jar and their own colored pebbles. When they are behaving well, they will get a pebble (there isn't a specific amount of pebbles they can get at one time, just whatever we feel they deserve). And when they are misbehaving, they have to pull out from their jar (again, no specific number of pebbles, just whatever we feel is necessary). When their jar is completely full, they get to pick a prize out of grandmas treasure chest (a big box full of goodies for them). 

Well, the problem is this - it is taking quite a long time for their jar to be filled. Not only is the jar fairly big (it takes about 220 pebbles for their jar to be filled completely), but sometimes, we forget to give them their pebbles they've deserve (and sometimes forget to actually have them pull out from their jar when they are misbehaving). So, we have basically called it a lost cause.

Well, I was on the phone w/ my mom the other day and she felt that this system would be very affective if it was thought out the right way. And thinking about it, I think she is 100% right.

So, how do you think this system should be constructed?

Sorry for the people that did reply to my old post, I didn't even get a chance to read through every reply.... but if you reply again it will be appreciated.

Thanks.

 

Instead of filling the jar make it a certain amount. If they end the day with say 15 then they can pick something within that range. Put a list of bad things and good things...next to the good things put how many marbles they get, same with the bad. so say they hit...take away 5 marbles. They put away dishes they get 6 marbles.

For the prizes do it the same way. If they have 5 marbles then they are able to choose new pencils, or stickers...If they have all 15 then they get a bigger prize.

The main thing is being CONSISTENT!!...without it this will never work.

gypsymama532
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:52 PM

we used to do golden gate tickets (little square of colored paper with the words golden gate written on them) in my house, same sort of concept as your pebbles, we got them for good behavior, chores, ect.  and they were taken away for misbehaving.  The difference was that we traded our tickets for all sorts of things, there was a list and the "price" on our fridge.  So, for example, staying up an extra 15-30 minutes was 2 tickets, having a sleepover was 5, an extra 30 minutes of tv was 2, a movie was 7, candy at the store was 4, a special treat or toy was 15, ect.  So basically they worked like currency, you might get 1 for doing all your chores that day, 2 if you went above and beyond, you might get 1 or 2 taken away if you were rude or mean, anyways you get the idea. It might work better then the pebble system because there are rewards that aren't so far off, or so hard to attain, and it also helps the kid learn to save and budget. Hope this helps

damira
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:53 PM

magnets on a board

larger pebbles/smaller jar

they get to place the reward on the chart, they won't miss if they know there's a goal.

MixedCooke
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 3:21 AM

use a smaller jar and use marbles instead

rjpetty605
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 6:22 AM

Get smaller jars I guess... 

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