Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Issues with Step-Daughter

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:43 PM
  • 13 Replies

Okay, I have a question.  I have an 18 year old SD with 4 1/2 months of her senior year left.  My question is can we legally kick her out and tell her she can go back to her Mom?  We are having lots of problems and the whole family is being affected.  I hate that we have this rift but we have tried everything.

by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:43 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
dreamerinluv
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:49 PM

Well I think it all comes down to who has custody......does your DH have cistody?  I ask beciz according to my hubby's court order he is legally bound to his DD till shes 18 OR out of school, wich ever comes first....so read your court paperwork mama  =) 

 







We are Lover's & best-friends & February 14th will mark the 11th yr Anniversay of our relationship.....~~German & Maria~~




 




 




 




 

futureshock
by Emerald Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:51 PM

What is she doing wrong?

Come on over and read my abortion rights blog:

http://wingnutwatch.typepad.com/wingnutwatch/

happytobehome
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:52 PM

No her Mom has legal custody.  She has been with us for 4 years because they were not getting along.  Her Mom started paying us child support for 2 years then stoppped when she turned 18, even though she is not out of school.  That is not the reason though that we think it is time for her to move.

Jennifer63080
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 10:55 PM

Everyone is going to ask you why you want her out, and then bash you for it.   The evil step-parent stereotype is never going to go away.

I don't know about the legalities of it. Since her mom has custody I would just call her up and ask her if she will take her back 


Supervane
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:03 PM

I don't see what so wrong with telling her hey kiddo you are 18 now time for you to be on your own!

Short_N_Sassy
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:10 PM

Your Step-Daughter is 18 yrs old.  What kind of problems is she causing to make ya'll want to send her back to mom's?  It has to be something drastic.  What does SD say about it? What does bio-mom say about it? I have a SD also and she is only 16 yrs old and has been in and out of trouble with the law for 2 yrs now.  But we can't just throw her away.  Sounds to me like that is what you are wanting to do.  She is not a ping pong ball.  She was having trouble with her mom and she went to live with ya'll, now ya'll are having problems and ya'll are wanting to send her back to her mom's.  That's not the way to solve any problems.  She only has 4 1/2 months left till she graduates.  After that....send her on her way.  She will either sink or swim.  If she sinks...you as parents are supposed to be there to lift her back up.  Sounds like to me she is lacking something from all of ya'll.....and that is love and understanding.  But without knowing what the situation is....it's going to be hard for anyone to help you out and give you some suggestions. 

happytobehome
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:40 PM

I understand I will be bashed.  I have been the one who has pushed for her to stay here but now I have had enough.  She has said she is going to be a bitch until it is time to move out.  She can't wait to go back with her Mom.  It was my SD's idea to move here and we were glad.  One simple thing is we are boring because we don't take her out to dinner all the time.  We can't afford it on a family of 5 to go out 4 times a week.  So she says her Mom takes her out all the time and I tell her that is because it is just the two of them.  She gets mad if we make her clean her foom and do her chores and if it is the weekend, she will call and have her Mom pick her up so she can go to her house and sit around instead.  She said we need to buy her a new car, I told her if she saves up money (she would have to get a job and doesn't want to work), we would give her half for a used car, but of course not good enough.  Now she ignores her borthers who are 6 and 4 and they cry.  They love her so much but she doesn't care.  If they come near her to hug her, she will push them away and yell at them.  The only time she lets them in her room is to help her clean, because she has to find something in her room.  She has pushed them and knocked them to the ground.  She doesn't say she is sorry and she keeps walking. 

darcyk10
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:44 PM


Quoting happytobehome:

I understand I will be bashed.  I have been the one who has pushed for her to stay here but now I have had enough.  She has said she is going to be a bitch until it is time to move out.  She can't wait to go back with her Mom.  It was my SD's idea to move here and we were glad.  One simple thing is we are boring because we don't take her out to dinner all the time.  We can't afford it on a family of 5 to go out 4 times a week.  So she says her Mom takes her out all the time and I tell her that is because it is just the two of them.  She gets mad if we make her clean her foom and do her chores and if it is the weekend, she will call and have her Mom pick her up so she can go to her house and sit around instead.  She said we need to buy her a new car, I told her if she saves up money (she would have to get a job and doesn't want to work), we would give her half for a used car, but of course not good enough.  Now she ignores her borthers who are 6 and 4 and they cry.  They love her so much but she doesn't care.  If they come near her to hug her, she will push them away and yell at them.  The only time she lets them in her room is to help her clean, because she has to find something in her room.  She has pushed them and knocked them to the ground.  She doesn't say she is sorry and she keeps walking. 

whatever you do make sure her father is the one to tell her the desicions or it will land on you BIG time. I have a step mom and if she told me she was kicking me out I would have thought immidiately that she forced my father to agree etc. So you husband needs to man up and let her know she has to straighten up or get out.

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

emt088
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:45 PM

 I wont bash you! but then, im a step mom myself lol, so i guess i dont count.

I think it really depends on the state.. here in ohio, once youre 18, still in school or not, you can be kicked out and are free to live on your own. Both my best friend in high school and I did this. I just kept my address the same so my school wouldnt give me any trouble. Its perfectly legal though. Also, why would you question the legality of sending her back to her BMs? That has nothing to do with her being an adult legally..

happytobehome
by on Jan. 18, 2010 at 11:47 PM

He has talked to her numerous times.  I have tried staying out of it and I have also tried to smooth things over but it hasn't helped.  Her and I have always had a great relationship until this past year.  Her Mom and her are close again and she says she can't wait to go be home and get spoiled. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)