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PMS Day

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 2:55 PM
  • 5 Replies

This is one of my reposts in honor of DaisyAg2003 that I posted a while back!

A letter on one of those days:

Dear Mr. Thatcher (of Proctor and Gamble),

I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 10 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuardCore(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills".

Isn't the human body amazing? :)

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo ". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough
time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps? Crazy, I know...!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you f**king kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle- manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

 

So week before last, I was PMSing real bad. I called my mom and who knew, she was PMSing too, and so were my little sisters. So I went to the grocery store and got the supplies to save the day. The next day, we reconvened and did it all over again. My cousin Mikki stopped by to enjoy the "restoral of peace".Here are some of the pics!

(NOTE: this soooo screwed up my diet plan!!!)

~Tierra~

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 2:55 PM
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Replies (1-5):
NadiasMommy427
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:00 PM

GIMME ALL YOUR SWEETS OR BE SHOT!!!!!!!! LOL

I'M PMSing today and my husband is about to be my first victim if he doesn't shut the F*ck up and get out my face. My head hurt, it feels like someone is shoving a hot poker up my ass, my clothes don't fit, I'm broke and I'm having a REALLY BAD DAY!!!

Love the post!!!! Thanks :)

 

DaisyAg2003
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:03 PM

I LOVE this!  It always makes me laugh!  It just goes to show that men truly are clueless!  LOL

 

ikesmommy
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:20 PM
Glad you enjoyed, ladies!

~Tierra~

DaisyAg2003
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:24 PM

That is what I need right now!  ICE CREAM SUNDAES!!!!  I might have to get my husband to go to the store when he gets home from hunting!

He and my son are screwed!  There will be 4 girls PMSing when puberty hits our house!

 

MommiE8983
by McLovin on Jan. 25, 2010 at 6:20 PM
Thanks for this post! I've been pmsing for two days now and OMFG I am about to snap! I need a shot and some chocolate!
 

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

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