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please help need some major advice.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:07 PM
  • 9 Replies

ok so  my dds sperm donor messaged me and i havent hearf from him in a year. i invited him to her party last year and havent heard from him since. hes saying (again) hes changed and wants to see her. i dont want to let him any where near her but idk what to do.

 

what would you ladies do.

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:07 PM
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Replies (1-9):
MommyToEthan
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:10 PM

i am all for parental rights.     unless you have a court order stating otherwise, you need to let him see her.      if he doesn't show up, that's another story.

do you guys have any visitation set up?   if not, that's something you should look into. 

Do you have a BOY??   If so, come join us at RAISING BOYS!  It's a great group for mothers of boys of any age!  Hope to see you there!!   http://www.cafemom.com/group/336/

bearsbabies
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:10 PM

your the one who chose to have a kid with him. you should make him seeing your daughter as comfortable as possible for him and everyone involved. She should have the opportunity to know who her father is, if you wish he was a better father then maybe you should have had a baby with a better guy.

geminishadow79
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:11 PM

ingore him for a while.  If hes persistant maybe he really has changed and really does want to see her, if he gives up, then he probly didn't really care in the first place. 

brittany89
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:11 PM

no theres no court orders he dont pay child support and hes only seen her 5 times her entire life because he sees her and then disapears again.

MommyToEthan
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:13 PM

she should be able to see her father and get to know him....   if he's a deadbeat, then she will realize that as she gets older...... trust me - i'm speaking from experience.

Quoting brittany89:

no theres no court orders he dont pay child support and hes only seen her 5 times her entire life because he sees her and then disapears again.


brittany89
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:15 PM

i dnt want him popping in and out of her life. we live 3 hours away from each other and only wants to see her if i bring her to him.

carygrantfan
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:20 PM

tell him if he wants to be a part of her life, then he has to be a full part of her life, which means paying child support and regular visitations that will be enforced.  not just when he feels like it and makes you do the transporting. 

phoeber
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:20 PM

Before you allow him to see her get a court order first to protect yourself and your child. In some states if there is not a custody agreement then whatever parent has the child does not have to allow the other parent to be around the child or in your case if he takes her with your permission he does not have to return her. I went through the same thing. Decide what is BEST for your daughter. If he is not a good parent and is only hurting her then do not allow him around. My father was the same way as well and it really messed me up. My daugters father is also the same way and she is really having a hard time because she does not understand why her daddy does not want to be around her. I have to take my 5 year old to therapy due to the damage he has caused. Be safe and careful. It is very hard I know if you need to talk let me know. I can tell you more of what happened with my daughter.

Quoting brittany89:

no theres no court orders he dont pay child support and hes only seen her 5 times her entire life because he sees her and then disapears again.


yummy_mommy89
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:21 PM

if u didnt hear from him for a YEAR than thats considered abandonment, id tell him to fuck himself.


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