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Calling all mommas of color.... my little girl needs your help.

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:00 PM
  • 14 Replies

I'm having a few issues with her. The first and most important one is dealing with the color of her skin. A few weeks ago another little girl told her white was so much prettier than brown, and since then she has made the comment, " I wish I had white skin like you or Juan. It's so much prettier." It's making me tear up because she is such a beautiful & intelligent little girl!!! I've taken her 3 times to see The Princess and the Frog (she loves Princesses) and I tell her every chance I get that she is the most beautiful Maria in the world (among other positive things about herself). What I want are suggestions on how to improve her self-esteem and self-worth, and some suggestions for good female role models of color. I already point out Mrs. Obama and the woman I see on magazines (Oprah especially since she's not stick thin....).

My second problem is issues with very dry skin. I was already told by a dermatologist it's not excema. She has just been blessed with my extremely dry skin, expecially in the winter months. I'm already rubbing here down with Curell for very dry skin twice a day, plus eucerine on the elbows & knees at night, and giving her a warm bath every other day and using Dove soap. Do you have suggestions for better/ more appropriate skin care?

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Beth5289
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:03 PM

The biggest thing I did for my DD (she's bi-racial) was buy her dolls of other ethnicities.  I realized when she was about 2 that she only had white dolls (oops on my part).  I try to talk to her about all the differences in people and how it makes us all unique. 

I think little girls just naturally have low self esteem.  It's going to be a fight for us all.

Good luck mama!

Beth

MalreeRose1208
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:03 PM

i cont help, but here is a bump!

Gecko85
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:03 PM

I am not a woman of color, but I am so sorry your baby is going through this. Just point out all the beautiful black women you see and keep telling her that she is beautiful. Also, soap and hot water strips the skin of natural oils, contributing to dryness so be ccareful with how hot the water is and how much she washes. Maybe you could try baby oil.


pregnancy


Just_Bethy
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:07 PM


Quoting Beth5289:

The biggest thing I did for my DD (she's bi-racial) was buy her dolls of other ethnicities.  I realized when she was about 2 that she only had white dolls (oops on my part).  I try to talk to her about all the differences in people and how it makes us all unique. 

I think little girls just naturally have low self esteem.  It's going to be a fight for us all.

Good luck mama!

I agree...My daughters were always..."I wish I was skinny like ___" Or "I wish I had clear skin I hate my acne"  It just kids and you do the best you can...I would probably let her know how beautiful her skin is and how a lot of white chicks crisp themselves in the sun to have beautiful brown skin....I am probably out of someones order by saying that ...but I meant no offense to any one of any colour but this IS cafemom after all..LOL....





Drillers Wife, Toughest Job In The Oil Field.

tfro
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:10 PM

i am half armenian so two of my sisters are dark and two are light, i know just what she is going through...only in my case i always wanted to have the golden brown skin and dark eyes instead of freckles and blond hair!  it is natural for kids to question things and as long as you show her lots of love then it will be okay.  as far as dry skin my sister's dermatologist recommends a hypoallergenic skin cream for people with severee dry skin called VANICREAM and you can get it over the counter from walgreens for 14 bucks.  the cream you are using now is just going to make it worse!!!  i also have a friend growing up who was half black/half white and he used pine tar soap which he swore by to keep his dry skin at bay!

mrsjones2207
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:11 PM

Try using bodywash and a loofa(sp) sponge to help exfoliate the dry skin. As for role models ust keep doing  what your doing and ecourageing her as you have been. I went thru the same thing...I wanted to be white so bad but i just grew out of It and liked being me. Its hard to watch your baby got thru that but she will get thru it. Take her to the library and teach her about her history and all the things that us brown people have invented and such. Does she have any friends of color and do you? 

Mylesbaby boyMykailahbaby girlMykahbaby boy


Distributor of Young Living Essential Oils and Supplements

racang
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:11 PM

I am no help, my dd doesn't have problems yet with skin color, she isn't brown but she isn't white either but she told us one day that she is not Mexican even though she is half Mexican, other than that we haven't had any problems so here is a bump hopefully someone can help you.

Pregnancy ticker

americanpeso
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:15 PM

For dry skin, I use Cetaphil Cream twice a day. I have the same problem, especially in winter, and so do my sons. This stuff is great!

babygirl4326
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:17 PM

bump

A_Renee
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 8:26 PM

There are so many images of beautiful black women that you could show her.  Tyra Banks, Iman, Michelle Obama, hell even Beyonce.  She should always know that Black is Beautiful.  That is what I tell my girls.  Surround her with positive images.  Buy AA dolls and children's books.

Kids notice skin color, that is not uncommon.  My oldest DD notices, but she does see any differences outside of that.

As for skin care, I use unrefined shea butter on my girls.  You can get it at a local beauty supply or from coastalscents.com.  Regular ol' cocoa butter works well also and you can get that at Wal-Mart.  I use other lotions as well,. Not all AA skin is dry, for example, mine isn't and the baby's is and my DH's isn't.

 

Just out of curiousity...How do you style her hair? 

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