ADOPTION- is not thee answer to Abortion (PIOG)

[Mackenzie40]

 Adoption is not the end all be all answer to abortion. I am soooo damn sick of Pro Life people saying that a women with an unintended or unwanted pregnancy should just choose adoption. It's another one of the things that PL people say that makes me think "Fetus fetishist" , how can any person who looks at all aspects of adoption really believe [ without batting an eyelash ] that adoption is THEE answer to abortion? I get it  YOU hate abortion , but that doesn't mean adoption is THEE answer. Like abortion , adoption also has a down side. One being that there are often consequences for the child that they will carry into adulthood. The other problems is the effect on the birth mother , never-mind that there currently are over 111,000 children available for adoption.

What I am NOT saying is that adoption is not a good choice FOR SOME women. It certainly may be a great option for SOME , but it will never be THEE ONE answer for all women anymore then abortion will be or parenting will be. To look at adoption and NOT see the down side says to me that the only thing that person is concerned with is quantity of fetuses making it out of the womb with NO regard for the quality of that life or the lives of the thousands of children already being warehoused in Foster care system.

Adoption , Abortion and parenting are ALL legal choices and all have an up and down side to them. If adoption was THEE answer then we wouldn't still be discussing abortion since adoption has been around since the earliest recorded history and (yup ) we still are talking about unplanned pregnancies and what a women's choices are.

Women should be given ALL information regarding ALL choices in as unbiased a way as possible so she can determine for herself what the right thing is for her and her circumstances.

                                           ************

 

 Adoption triggers seven lifelong or core issues for all triad members, regardless of the circumstances of the adoption or the characteristics of the participants:

1. Loss

2. Rejection

3. Guilt and Shame

4. Grief

5. Identity

6. Intimacy

7. Mastery/control

(Silverstein and Kaplan 1982).

Also -

CONCLUSIONS: The relinquishing mother is at risk for long-term physical, psychologic, and social repercussions. Although interventions have been proposed, little is known about their effectiveness in preventing or alleviating these repercussions." Journal of Obstetric, Gynecological and Neonatal Nursing, 1999 Jul-Aug. pp.395-400.

Also -

Adopted children are over-represented in mental health and correctional facilities,

compared to other groups. What I always find surprising is the lack of attention paid to the role

adoption might have had in leading to the emotional or behavioral disturbance.

Lastly -

What were the case goals of the children in foster care?

Reunify with Parent(s) or Principal Caretaker(s)	49%	226,867
Live with Other Relative(s)	4%	16,922
Adoption	24%	111,225

[CTRedSoxMom]

There is no cure all to an unwanted pregnancy. Sadly some people just cant accept that.

[Heartlight617]

I hear you. My son is adopted from DSS after a failed relationship between my son and a girl he was dating. The child was not his, but we all knew that from the get go. He has had alot of guilt, rejection issues, etc. He is the star of our lives,and loved by all, but still has feelings of rejection. Women who have unintended pregnancies should not be brood mares for the wealthy or infertile.

[JakeandEmmasMom]

I agree with you.  It really annoys me when they say, "Just give it up for adoption," with such a flippant tone.  It's as though they think the baby is an unwanted puppy that can just be left at the pound.  It is usually said in such a way that makes it clear that the person really hasn't thought the whole process of adoption through at all.

[mrsjones2207]

The only cure is to not have sex untill you are READY to become a parent. Mothers who have abortions also have feelings of guilt, depression, anxiety, the actual loss and wondering "what If". There are down sides to both.

[CTRedSoxMom]

OR people can simply make choices for themselves...

Quoting mrsjones2207:

The only cure is to not have sex untill you are READY to become a parent. Mothers who have abortions also have feelings of guilt, depression, anxiety, the actual loss and wondering "what If". There are down sides to both.

[yesitsme311]

I agree with 1 million%! I cannot stand self-rightious pro-lifers claiming adoption is some miracle solution to abortion. Maybe some of them should stop wasting their time protesting at abortion clinics and use their time more wisely at foster care centers and help the kids that are already here. They really piss me off. I am pro-life, not because I love abortion but because we should all have the choice.

[littleluvkitty]

in my op adoption is better then abortion. im not saying its for everyone, but i would never abort if i had a choice. just my op

[allyson2212]

thee?

[yesitsme311]

I don't have any of those feelings. What I did was right for me and I really do not ever think about it until I see a post like this on CM.

Quoting mrsjones2207:

The only cure is to not have sex untill you are READY to become a parent. Mothers who have abortions also have feelings of guilt, depression, anxiety, the actual loss and wondering "what If". There are down sides to both.

[mrsjones2207]

Quoting CTRedSoxMom:

OR people can simply make choices for themselves...

Quoting mrsjones2207:

The only cure is to not have sex untill you are READY to become a parent. Mothers who have abortions also have feelings of guilt, depression, anxiety, the actual loss and wondering "what If". There are down sides to both.

Never said they couldnt. My point is thats the only CURE for an unwanted pregnancy and there are down sides to both...thats all that was said.