Am I wrong for feeling this way?? *kinda long* *questions in pink*
So, i'm insecure.. I know I shouldn't be but I am.. My boyfriend has (had) a female best friend (thats not what bothers me) They have this close bond that i feel me and him don't have.. They would call each other names like "love" "sweetie" etc.. That bothered me, It made me feel very uncomfortable.. So I told him that it bothered me, and he kept asking why, and I would tell him why.. He still didn't get it.. I asked him to please stop calling her pet names, and he did it a couple more times, before he stopped.. He would get very defensive when I would bring up how uncomfortable it would make me feel.. He swears up and down that they never had anything besides friendship.. It's hard to believe since he would get so defensive.. He would run to her with his problems instead of talking to me about them.. So recently he said "well i'm not going to have any friends" I was shocked and really upset that he would act that way, so immature.. There was 1 person that made me feel like I was second best in his life, and he took it to the extreme and decides to delete all his friends numbers on his phone.. He then tell me he doesn't want me talking to my friend (a female, and shes not my bff). Mind you, i've known her for almost 14 years and he has known his "BFF" for 2 years..
In my eyes my boyfriend is MY best friend, but to him that girl is his best friend.. It would hurt me so much when he would say "well I dont have a best friend anymore because you dont let me talk to her" I not once ever said "dont talk to her", I just would tell him how I felt.. Am I wrong for feeling this way?? I know deep down inside I dont want him to talk to her because it makes me really insecure, but I didn't tell him to stop talking to her.. I've even tried to hang out with her and try to like her, but I just couldn't do it.. What should I do..?? I am so confused and hurt it's driving me nuts.. =(
I guess what i'm asking is, should I let him just stop talking to her?? Am I wrong for feeling the way I do?? Is it wrong that i'm kinda glad he won't talk to her anymore??
I would feel the same way. If you are going to be in a commited relationship then you need to make that person your number one priority IMO. It doesnt mean that you have to lose your friends, but it does mean that they dont come first anymore. You should be closer to him that any of his friends, male or female. Im not sure what you should do, but wanted you to know that your not alone in feeling like that. That would make me feel insecure too.
I don't think you were wrong to ask him to stop the pet names. The way he reacted proves you were right to feel uncomfortable.
I guess he figured he was doing what you wanted. ( in his own way) I think you need to pick your battles. People call my husband little pet names. Doesnt bother me. People call me little pet names too. I dont understand what the big deal is. But I think you need to talk to him and tell him that you didnt say he had to end his relationship with her, that the names just bothered you.
Communication is key in any relationship. GL.
I would feel the same way..... If my boyfriend called any girl a pet name I'd flip a lid... That would not go well with me. He should have been more understanding.....and more flexible with your feelings.
You are his gf and your feelings should be his priority in all this. Plus, if she was really that good of a friend, she would understand and back off as well. I understand how you feel. I am not insecure, but I do think there is a level of respect that she is not giving your relationship with your bf.
Me and SO mainly hang out with other couples to avoid things like this. Does she have a bf herself?
Help Save little Sassy www.giveforward.org/sassy
I'm a 26 year old fun loving girl. I laugh all the time - sometimes hysterically. I'm Cuban and so is the object of my affection. I can dance salsa like a pro and I also love to sing. I'm in love with the sexiest man alive and a dedicated stepmom to his 3 little kiddos.... 
... you don't like me? that's ok! i like me enough for the both of us.. Have a nice day :)
I tried that.. He finally did stop the pet names, but when they talked on the phone one time she called him "love" and he said "i cant call you that anymore" she asked "why not" he said "i dont know, my girlfriend doesnt like it".. the thing that irked me is he knew EXACTLY why it botherd me, and he didnt tell her that..
Quoting KellyOh72:I guess he figured he was doing what you wanted. ( in his own way) I think you need to pick your battles. People call my husband little pet names. Doesnt bother me. People call me little pet names too. I dont understand what the big deal is. But I think you need to talk to him and tell him that you didnt say he had to end his relationship with her, that the names just bothered you.
Communication is key in any relationship. GL.
Check out some of the top posts today in Groups:
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- LoVeBuG813
on Feb. 9, 2010 at 4:41 PM