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Eloping when you have kids.

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:19 PM
  • 8 Replies

I just got engaged to my SO and it is the 3rd marriage for both of us.. we both have kids.. he has 3 I have 1 the ages are his 21, 19, 17 and mine 14. 

Now here is are question.. we want to Elope and have an intimate ceremony on the beach of puerto rico.. really have it be just the 2 of us..

the question is how do we handle not bringing the kids and is that even right?  I know that my 14 year old and possible his 17 year old would be upset... but if we have the ceremony here my mom would get involved and take over and it would turn into a full blown wedding both my past weddings have resulted in being "her" wedding.. cause she is good at guilting me into feeling bad for not inviting this person or that person.. so..

any thoughts.. do I just cave and have a ceremony at home.. or do we do it like we both want?

 

 

by on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:19 PM
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Replies (1-8):
momiofcristina
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:23 PM

why cant you elope with the kids? tell them its a secret  ceremony and dont tell anyone else? 

ktwister
by Gold Member on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:24 PM

I would involve the kids, I think they are old enough to ask if they want to be there, if they do, then I would have them involved.  Instead of a  true elopement, how about a destination wedding with just you, your future husband and children. 


Wendy_June
by on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:25 PM

 

Quoting momiofcristina:

why cant you elope with the kids? tell them its a secret  ceremony and dont tell anyone else? 

Yes! Tell them you're going a a surprise vacation and surprise them while you're there.

AllAboutYou1223
by on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:25 PM

There you go. Turn it into a little family vacation. Then get married on the beach!

Quoting momiofcristina:

why cant you elope with the kids? tell them its a secret  ceremony and dont tell anyone else? 

BaisMom
by on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:31 PM

Just say you and him want to go on a little vacation alone. Leave the kids with grandma.

chais_wifey
by on Feb. 17, 2010 at 3:33 PM


Quoting ktwister:

I would involve the kids, I think they are old enough to ask if they want to be there, if they do, then I would have them involved.  Instead of a  true elopement, how about a destination wedding with just you, your future husband and children. 



Stilettoteez
by on Feb. 18, 2010 at 12:20 PM

Thanks all for the replies, I guess we will have to play it by ear and see if they want to be a part of it or not..

 

thanks again

pkwright
by on Jan. 4, 2012 at 1:24 PM

Great! This has really been on my mind......I have a suggestion and please tell me what you think!!

Getting married in Mexico requires a lot of work......lots of steps and "hoops" to jump through...but if you just do the ceremony there and not the legal stuff.....its painless...so, that brings on the idea to do the legal stuff here, and then elope for the actual ceremony.....

but I have kids....until this point I really thought they could not care less about it...but I asked my little girl (age 9) last night if she would like to be there and her face LIT UP!!!

that changes everything!!!! so.....what about getting married...ceremony only in Mexico, and then doing the "paper stuff" when we get back at a nice reception???

putting the "ceremony" before the "paperwork" leaves the excitement in the ceremony for me....after all, once i vow....i am married in my heart...which is the point???? right??? and the weekend we get home, do the signing........and the kids can be a part of the whole thing....

it just feels right....its the best of both worlds!!!! 

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