Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

How many of you are disappointed with how life turned out?

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 12:44 AM
  • 40 Replies

Maybe I'm on a depressive kick (I'm new to the group, btw, so HI!-but not new to CM), but I am just so disappointed and disgusted with myself for how my life has turned out.  To make a long story short, I dropped out of a college where I had a full scholarship and had every single thing paid for to get married.  My husband was a Wal-Mart manager, so we moved around a lot, which prevented me from going back to school, until I tried to go online.  I went for 2 semesters before he got a raise and my financial aid got cut out, and we couldn't afford it anymore.  Anyway, I've worked at odd jobs off and on..Wal-Mart, call centers, freelance photography.  My husband was a controlling, emotionally abusive jerk who really never acted like he even cared about our son until after we split up.  I guess it's true that some people don't know what they have until it's gone.  I left him last August.  It took me until October to find a job, and then the project (call center) ended in January, and I've applied for job after job with no luck so far.  I have an interview in the morning, so my fingers are crossed, but it's still just a crap data entry/mail room type job.  My new boyfriend says that I should let things get to me so much and be so negative, that something will turn around eventually if I keep a positive attitude.  I love him to death, but that just makes me want to look at him and say, "What the hell are you, a fortune cookie?"  I had such high hopes for myself...like I said, I had a full scholarship to the University of Kentucky, I was 5th in my class in high school, and I had a 3.8gpa in college.  Now I look at myself, and I don't even have a job, much less a career, I'm struggling to even pay bills and have bill collectors calling daily (which makes me rethink leaving my ex, even though I know in my heart that it was the right decision and I'm normally much happier now), and I eat like a cow because I'm stressed, which means I can't lose weight no matter how much I exercise.    My mom suggested signing up on welfare and trying to go back to school instead of working, but I just cannot swallow my pride and make myself walk into a welfare office..it's against everything I believe in (no offense to anyone who's on it).  I applied for a job online and failed the exam Monday, so that flew out the window, which is what really started this depressive attitude.  I've never failed anything in my life, so of course I broke down and was miserable and felt worthless all day, and ever since.  Ugh.  Sorry this was so long, but sometimes I just wonder if I'm the only person that feels this way.

by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 12:44 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Just_Bethy
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 12:50 AM

 My life is ..good....I am just living it in the wrong country....


Drillers Wife, Toughest Job In The Oil Field.

new_mommy333
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 12:52 AM

is your life over or something???

im23vaughn
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 12:53 AM

It could be better but I am fairly happy with how life turns out.

Kristanene
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 12:59 AM

Well, no, but I can't see it changing anytime soon, so it sort of feels like it.  Because the ex refused to let me work unless I practically begged on my knees (I got to work a year out of 6 that we were married) I didn't get to contribute to the income, so I didn't get a say in how bills were paid.  I WANT to go back to school, but my student loans are in default because he wouldn't pay them while we were married..it wasn't a priority.  I contacted them, but I don't have the money to pay them right now without a job, and when I do it will still take 9 mos of payments before they'll give me some sort of letter that will allow me to go back to school and be eligible for financial aid.  I'm looking into medical transcription, but don't have the money to pay for any of the programs I've seen online right now.  And with a full-time crap job like data entry, where it's inevitable that I'm going to have a crap schedule, I don't see how I'm going to ever go back to school and still have any time for my son..and he's the most important thing to me, so of course I'd choose him if a choice was going to be made.  My boyfriend is great, and we've been friends for 9 years anyway, so we know each other very well, and are talking getting more serious (moving in, marriage, all that fun stuff, which I'm still a little wary of because of my track record with it, but he's a far better man), but it isn't his place to help me out now, even though he offers..it's not his responsibility.  I guess I just feel like I'm getting to old to turn anything around now...and I can't see how/when I'll ever be able to.

blessedmama518
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 1:00 AM

Its normal to feel that way but seriously, you need to realize how blessed you are. You had a healthy son, and a new man who adore you. Most women dont even have that. And FYI, having a degree doesnt mean shit. I wish I would have just joined the military straight out of high school instead of spending 50k+ on this Bachelors degree that hasnt found me the career of my choice yet!

I know its hard, but be thankful for what you do have. Because in all honesty, it could be much less. Life is hard and we always think about what we should have/could have done differently. You'll make it through mama! Surround yourself with POSITIVE people and POSITIVE energy will come to you. I know this may sound corny, but check out a movie called The Secret. They also have a book out. Trust me, if you watch it, it will give you a different perspective on life!

Kristanene
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 1:01 AM

And for the people who are happy with how things are going for you, I'm so happy for you! 

goodson_2008
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 1:01 AM

The only thing I am disappointed about is not being able to get pregnant :(

Kristanene
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 1:07 AM

Thank you...that helps.  I'm assuming my bf was trying to say something like this, but he's a man, and doesn't communicate things like that well.  I do try my best to stop and think of what I DO have when I'm feeling like this..and I have a lot compared to a lot of people, I know.  I just start wondering if I'm the only one who gets in these moods..even logically knowing that I'm not.  You know, so many people have told me that a degree didn't get them anything..my ex husband and my current bf are prime examples of it too, along with a very good friend of mine as well.  They all have bachelor's degrees and they're all scraping by..my bf now at least has a steady, reliable job with decent benefits and retirement.  I will definitely check out the book..I've seen it at the book store fairly recently, but didn't pick it up.  I'll see if they have it at the library tomorrow.

Quoting blessedmama518:

Its normal to feel that way but seriously, you need to realize how blessed you are. You had a healthy son, and a new man who adore you. Most women dont even have that. And FYI, having a degree doesnt mean shit. I wish I would have just joined the military straight out of high school instead of spending 50k+ on this Bachelors degree that hasnt found me the career of my choice yet!

I know its hard, but be thankful for what you do have. Because in all honesty, it could be much less. Life is hard and we always think about what we should have/could have done differently. You'll make it through mama! Surround yourself with POSITIVE people and POSITIVE energy will come to you. I know this may sound corny, but check out a movie called The Secret. They also have a book out. Trust me, if you watch it, it will give you a different perspective on life!


Kristanene
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 1:09 AM

Aw, I'm sorry!  I wish you all the luck in the world with getting pregnant!  I'll probably need the favor returned someday, since my current bf has this problem that I'd never heard of before, where he, uh, well..nothing comes out..if you know what I mean. :-)

Quoting goodson_2008:

The only thing I am disappointed about is not being able to get pregnant :(


duganhorse
by on Feb. 19, 2010 at 1:10 AM

God knows I have had a rough life, but it is all how you react to the events that happen.  i spent most of my 20's pretty down about how things were going.  I finally snapped out of it and realized that there is always a way out of an unhappy situation.  You need to focus on what you really want and not worry about how you will get there.  I know how dificult it is.  I have been there too but now my life is going great and keeps getting better.  Check out the book "The Secret".  It was life changing for me.  Here is the link to the website.  http://www.thesecret.tv/ It has a lot of free information to help you start thinking more possitive.  I know things can get better for you, you just have to believe in yourself.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)