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A Year Ago Today........ ***UPDATE***

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:41 AM
  • 35 Replies

At about 10pm tonight it will be a year since I got the call. The call no daughter wants to get. "Get here quick, Dad collapsed and was unresponsive. EMS is working on him to try and bring him back". Right before I got there, they had just pronounced him. The worked for 45 minutes to bring him back. They shocked him once. They didn't want to do anymore than that cause this was a small town hospital and they were all too familiar with my dad. My dads body was a road map of scars. Heart surgeries, gallbladder, shoulder and the list goes on for what was wrong with him. He died from heart failure.  My dad had told me he was ready to go home, he was tired of the constant pain. He told me this a year before he passed. Its still hard. He passed a couple weeks before mine and my sons birthdays. Knowing he would not be calling and singing happy birthday is hard. Even on oxygen, he called me and my kids every year, every birthday. I cannot believe the man who taught me to drive, shoot, screened my boyfriends and gave me away at my wedding to my ex is gone. I cant snap out of it. I just want to hear his voice, know he is ok. My older sister and myself have seemed to take it the hardest. My mom was married to him for 30 years and she is already dating. She started a few months after he passed. I tried to hide what today meant to me from the kids but my son knew. He heard a song that reminded him of my dad and he just lost it. I am going to get some memorial ink done today. I have been planning this for a while. I dunno what the point of this post was, I just have to get it out. I also lost my grandma 3 1/2 years ago. Basically in 3 years I lost the 2 most important people in my life. The 2 that raised me. Its a shame my kids may never have the relationship with them that I did. My mom is nothing like them, she is not a nurturing person. Never has been.


Share your stories if you have any, of loved ones lost.


Mom and Dad 1999. He wasnt one for pictures LOL

Grandma

Me and my dad (1982) I was a year old.


Just wanted to update with a pic of the tattoo I got in his mnemory today.

ETA: If you dont the tat just keep your lips shut please. I designed it. If the lines arent perfect I am GOOD with that. My dad never liked things that were manufactured. A perfectly done tat would not have represented him. You dont know the whole story behind the way it was done. I am going to have a little fill in work and darken the outline a bit, its not completely done but it was done like this for a reason. You would have to know the man behind the tat ok.


by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
pinkfairy0206
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:43 AM

wow,that brought me to tears...no matter how much time goes by it doesn't heal the pain. some days it is just as raw as it was the 1st.

mrsringling
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:48 AM

I'm so very sorry for you loss.  I am missing my grandma, she died 2 years ago but had strokes before that so it really seems like I had to lose her twice because she wasn't the same person after that.  It's just overwhelming when I think that she's never met my son and won't get to see any other babies that I may have.  I hope that your day is filled with wonderful memories of your daddy, he is looking down on you and smiling. 

pretzelsmom
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:50 AM

Thinking of you...what wonderful memories you hold in your heart!

"Nobody promised you tomorrow, so what will you do with your today?"


Proud mom to Cory, Taylor, & Presley


I-35 Bridge Collapse Survivor   Minneapolis, MN


Never Forgotten 8/1/07--Always in our Hearts

madukes01562
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:56 AM

I am so sorry you are hurting. My husband killed himself 6 1/2 yrs ago and I still cry almost everyday. Grab your kids hug them and share some of your wonderful memories of him with them. It may bring a smile to everyones day. As for your mom just let it be because it is what it is for her.

jessicaroberts3
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:59 AM

my hubby is trying to figure out why I am crying.  I know it must be tough and I am sorry.

amayabrianna
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:08 AM

 AWW I am so sorry that you are still feeling the pain from this!! I was told last night that my favorite uncle strangled his fiance then shot himself. No one can make me believe that he would ever harm anyone even himself. The lady's exDH was there the whole time and is trying to get everyone to believe that he had nothing to do with it. It just makes no sense!! My Uncle would NEVER do this....I am so lost and I know that no words can really help mama, but stay strong, know that they both loved you and are watching over you now.

sharivegas0614
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:19 AM

At 15 and 16 I lost my grandmother(mom's mom) and my grandfather(dad's dad).Then at 17 I lost one of my good friends,he was shot point blank in the back of the head by some punk 20 year old.My friend was only 15.I miss them terribly but I try to think more of them before my grandparents got sick and when my friend and I went to school.

Mel30248
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:23 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss....

The most recent death for me was my Nana who died Dec 28, 2009. I am having a hard time with her being gone she died of cancer & was 86 years old. She lived a long life but I only knew her for two years (complicated), I feel like I didnt get enough time.

 

debbie26
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:25 AM

 Aww im so sorry to hear that May he R.I.P

fwkitten1981
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:27 AM

I am sorry for everyones losses. I kinda feel cheatd since my dad was only 51 and my grandma was 61 (mom's mom). Grandma passed of lung cancer complicated by a stroke. My dad died of just plain heart failure but he was diabetic, had asthma, neuropathy and more. He had a smoke 10 minutes before he died. Makes me angry that my mom still smokes.

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