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I can't believe MIL said that to me!!! Do I tell DH???

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:08 PM
  • 44 Replies

So, DH and I really do not know what is going to happen with our marriage when our son's passport comes in, but I am for sure going home.

Well, our families don't know that and we really don't want to involve them if we don't have to.

I was talking to MIL on the phone tonight. She and I get along pretty well. She sometimes says things I don't agree with, but I pick my battles and don't really say anything to her.

Well, she and DH have talked and he said that when we come home (he is most likely taking leave around the same time Ds's passport comes in so that he can go home and visit family as well), that I will be staying most likely because he will only have a year left here and this way DS can be around family.

MIL has expressed her disagreement with this. She says that DS will change so much in that amount of time and he wont know who "Daddy" is when DH does get to see him again. I agree with the first part about him changing so much, but I do not agree with the fact that he wont know who daddy is.

Well, tonight I was on the phone with MIL (like I said above) and she said something about how she wishes that she could be here (Germany) so that she could see DS and hold him.

I told her again about coming home in a few months. She then brought up about how DH wants me to stay home instead of coming back to Germany (which that is the plan right now unless something drastic happens).

She said "Don't let him talk you into staying back here when you guys come home."

and I told her that nothing was set in stone yet.

then she says (and this is what shocks me), "Well, you know his sex drive is high and he will probably sleep around if you stay home and he's back in Germany alone."

and I said, "I doubt it"

she says, "Well, he might have a few one night stands."

I said, "I really don't think he would."

and then she kept at it for a minute or so more and then I finally changed the subject.

When I was pregnant and we were fighting, his friend tried to take him to a whore house and he wouldn't go.

Before I got here, a guy in his unit took him to a whore house (he had just got here and didn't know where they were at first...and then he figured it out after a second of them showing up there) and he made the guy give him cab faire to go back on post even after the guy offered to pay for him to get a BJ....

We may have our issues, but he would never cheat...he would cut things off with me if he thought that he wanted to do something with another woman...which he doesn't....

So, DH is gone until Thursday doing training...do I bring this up to him when he gets back or not?

Army wife to Chad (12/28/2007) army

Mommy to Jeffrey (10/14/2009) baby boy

Military Moms
Join us on The Military Moms Group - -Military Moms Group Mod

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KimberlyDoll
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:12 PM

I probably would tell him. I think he should know what his own mother is saying. I don't keep anything from my husband though, so whatever my MIL tells me it will go back to him.

lcappytan05
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:14 PM

That's what I thought...just wanted some prospective from you ladies...

Quoting KimberlyDoll:

I probably would tell him. I think he should know what his own mother is saying. I don't keep anything from my husband though, so whatever my MIL tells me it will go back to him.


Army wife to Chad (12/28/2007) army

Mommy to Jeffrey (10/14/2009) baby boy

Military Moms
Join us on The Military Moms Group - -Military Moms Group Mod

lcappytan05
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:20 PM

anyone else have any thoughts?

Army wife to Chad (12/28/2007) army

Mommy to Jeffrey (10/14/2009) baby boy

Military Moms
Join us on The Military Moms Group - -Military Moms Group Mod

SnoBuny
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:25 PM

I think that maybe she said those things because she is trying to convince/scare you into staying with him....kind of nice in a wacky way lol!
I dont think I would say anything to him. I guess it depends on what you want to get out of telling him. If it is to get his opinion than tell him but if it is just to let him know that his mother is saying those things it may be best not to mention it.

r05373af
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:25 PM

i would tell him.  no secrets.  if he found out through someone eles what she said he would be angry, not just that, his own mother direspected his wife and that is not ok.  he needs to know!

ForeverMeme
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:26 PM

 I agree with this.

I probably would tell him. I think he should know what his own mother is saying. I don't keep anything from my husband though, so whatever my MIL tells me it will go back to him.

 

lcappytan05
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:27 PM

she also told me awhile back that I need to stay with him no matter what so that Jeffrey has both his parents around...because she got divorced when her boys were young and had to work a few jobs....

she said to stay married to him so that I wont have it hard....

I'm like, "what about abuse" and she said, "no matter what"

pfft, yeah right...

Quoting SnoBuny:

I think that maybe she said those things because she is trying to convince/scare you into staying with him....kind of nice in a wacky way lol!
I dont think I would say anything to him. I guess it depends on what you want to get out of telling him. If it is to get his opinion than tell him but if it is just to let him know that his mother is saying those things it may be best not to mention it.


Army wife to Chad (12/28/2007) army

Mommy to Jeffrey (10/14/2009) baby boy

Military Moms
Join us on The Military Moms Group - -Military Moms Group Mod

Nicsone
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:28 PM

I would tell him and I would have told her to butt out when she started.

RmeWifey01
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:33 PM

Wat is it with mothers saying that to thei dd's or dil's??? My 1st MIL said that to me too. My own mother says it now. WTH?? If my current dh abuses me -like HELL I'm staying w/him!!! Just sayin'.

Quoting lcappytan05:

she also told me awhile back that I need to stay with him no matter what so that Jeffrey has both his parents around...because she got divorced when her boys were young and had to work a few jobs....

she said to stay married to him so that I wont have it hard....

I'm like, "what about abuse" and she said, "no matter what"

pfft, yeah right...

Quoting SnoBuny:

I think that maybe she said those things because she is trying to convince/scare you into staying with him....kind of nice in a wacky way lol!
I dont think I would say anything to him. I guess it depends on what you want to get out of telling him. If it is to get his opinion than tell him but if it is just to let him know that his mother is saying those things it may be best not to mention it.



PatriciaofMN
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 2:36 PM

 I agree w/the others, you need to tell him and it bothers me that she would even talk about your sex life openly like that.  And just an fyi, my dh and I were separated for 4 months and when we moved back into our house, our dd remembered him as it was like we never left.  Good luck and you know in your own heart what you should do.  Hugs!

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