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Don't know what I am supposed to think about this?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:59 PM
  • 32 Replies

I've posted before about my mom's attachment to my children. They are the first and only grandchildren in my family. My mom was begging me for kids before I even met my husband, I was 20 the first time she asked me when I would give her grandkids. She used to watch my kids but for many, many reasons I did not want her to. I was afraid of how she would take the news when I put my kids in daycare because honestly, she doesn't have much else in her life that brings her joy except my kids.

I have always felt like my mom strongly favored my daughter over my son. I told myself it was just because she's a girl, because she was the first grandchild. When my son was 4 months old, i asked my mom if she loved him as much as she loves my daughter. She said no, but that she will learn to. I never asked her that again because it hurt me so bad but she does dote on him more now than she did back then.

Anyway, the kids have been in daycare for a few weeks now. My mom has handled it surprisingly well, she has only called me crying once. Well, the weekend before last, I took the kids to visit her but after about two hours, I started feeling ill and the kids were acting up so I told her I wanted to go home. She did not want us to leave but when she saw that I really was leaving, she asked if my daughter could spend the night.

I thought it was odd that she only wanted my daughter to spend the night and not my son but feeling so ill, I agreed to it. I brushed it off as maybe she just didn't have the energy to take care of two kids, even though my daughter is MUCH more of a handful than my son (he is such an easy baby, always has been).

Well, I went to visit them again today....and she did the same thing. She wanted Libby to spend the night, did not ask about Sebastian.

This time I decided to say something, so I said, "What about Seabass, are you just too tired?" She looked at me with the most innocent look on her face and said n"N, I just miss my grandaughter! What's wrong with that?"


So....I don't really understand that at all. My son is a wonderful baby. He is sweet, he hardly cries, he laughs all the time and he's a riot. Why does she only miss her grandaughter and not her grandson?

I said no, by the way, mainly because this is my weekend, they are in daycare all week long and I miss them and I want them both here with me but also because it really hurt my feelings that she only wants to spend time with her grandaughter.

So, what do you think? Am I just being sensitive?



*edit my daughter is three and my son is 16 months.

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kk_bella
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 7:59 PM

I didn't realize that was so long, sorry, I'm long winded.

roxy85
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:01 PM

Do you have brothers? Male cousins? Maybe she just finds it hard to bond with a boy or she wants that special bond with her granddaughter that she has with you...

Nicole88
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:01 PM

 weird ...i'd be so upset that she was favoring one over the other. That'll really hurt your son as he gets older and sees it :( I'm sorry!

kk_bella
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:02 PM


Quoting roxy85:

Do you have brothers? Male cousins? Maybe she just finds it hard to bond with a boy or she wants that special bond with her granddaughter that she has with you...

I have a brother and tons of male cousins. But maybe?? I don't know, she has always favored my brother over me....

SarahMcG1981
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:02 PM

That's kinda messed up IMO.... She should love BOTH of her grandkids equally.... 

At least she's honest about it... I guess... 

Sorry that's happening though...  


Ryan_n_me_plus3
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:03 PM

 my mom plays total favorites. it seems to me that the 1st grandchild is almost always the favorite..not saying its right, just saying...

SuzyQ007
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:03 PM

 If your daughter is older maybe it's because she can do more with her??

 


Be True To Yourself

jas_momof2
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:03 PM

I think you are being sensitive.  I think 1 - your mother has a stronger bond with her grandaughter (which is expected, she was first) and 2 - since she's older, they can do stuff together.

Plus-size-mommy
by StarBaby on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:03 PM

No, I too would be wondering why not your son? I mean, I get that she is the girl, but that's not fair to your little man. If she misses "her grandaughter" what about "her grandson"?

slm047
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:04 PM

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I don't think you're being sensitive because clearly, she favors your daughter. I don't have any advise though, my mother isn't involved in my child's life nor will be involved with this one, once he or she is out my belly. Goodluck though, bump.

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