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So chatting with the Husband last night...

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:45 PM
  • 7 Replies

and we were talking about values, personal values. We both came to the conclusion that we have values but to put them into words is difficult. I mean we both hold the obvious- honesty, trust, support, and respect, but to verbalize anything further we got stuck. 

What are your values? And to further the conversation, if you had people in your life that did not fall into place with them would you let the relationship go? Does it matter if they are friend or family?  

We're Pregnant.
Due 6.14.2010.

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 8:45 PM
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Replies (1-7):
BeckieLea
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:03 PM

Bump!

MaeHamMomma
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:08 PM

My values are hard to put into words as well. I consider them to be old fashioned family values, if that helps.

Yes, I have friends and family who do not share the same values or beliefs as us. We love them and care deeply for them.

However, Bad company ruins good character. So we do limit our time around them and we do not allow our children around them unsupervised.

mrsjones2207
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:10 PM

 yes we have values and yes they are hard to put into words. Not every person we come into contact has nor will have the absolute same values we do and we deal with that situation how we see fit at the time.

BaisMom
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:27 PM

I've never thought of my values as being hard to express. It's as simple as doing your very best to do well by others and yourself. It all comes down to integrity really. The choices I would make when nobody is there to judge me. If I choose to do right without eyes on me, I am good to go.

As far as people who don't hold themselves to the same values; unless they posed any actual threat to me or mine, I would not eliminate them from my life. Part of having a clear conscience is sharing that with others. How could I ever expect someone to follow a similar path if I turn my back on them?


Young and single. Call me a statistic if you'd like, it doesn't change the fact that I am a smart, strong, and confident mother. There are also a number of other things that you might not like about me: I breastfed AND formula fed. My daughter is on a delayed vax'ing schedule. I had a c-section. Organic food is nasty. I don't spank, but I do whoop ass. I let my daughter get hurt and make mistakes, I want her to learn through experience, it's the best way. I am an Atheist, my daughter has never been to church nor read the bible. I don't believe that I need to look to a "god" to have morals. I believe in reason, science, the Earth, and I believe in PEOPLE. Despite my heathen ways, I have a pure heart <3 and my daughter is healthy, smart, happy, beautiful, and loving; and she knows she's loved.

MsDean
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:31 PM

We are very traditional. Me and dh prior to gettign married discussed our values and goals. We both believe in family first. We value honesty, communication, and trust. Also if people are in our lives that do not understand that our kids come first, whether they be family or friends, then they are in our lives after that. A good example of that is my friend who got married. She called a week or so before to tell me she wanted me to go to Las Vegas with her to be there at her wedding. I kindly explained that we were flying in MIL and also that we had already planned to take the kids to a special event, which she knew about prior. Anyways she was very upset with me and I realized that I cannot have soemone who does not understand that my kids come first in my life. I have not spoken to her since.

BeckieLea
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 9:32 PM

I understand where you ladies are coming from. I guess with other people, I was not really talking about if they shared the exact same values but more could not respect your values and would not even try to see them, what would you do? I kinda ask because my mother is doing this. I am pregnant with my first and my husband and I have had to make choices for the safety of our child. For example, my mother has told me that her favorite thing to do is to smoke pot and drive. Well I told her that there are absolutely NO circumstances in which my child would ever be in her vehicle and she got mad because she felt I was throwing the pot smoking in her face. I really dont care she is grown and can be DUMB if she damn well pleases but she will not have the opportunity to hurt my baby. There are alot of other things that go into this. I just feel like she is not a healthy person for my child to be around because I dont feel I can trust her, whether I am there or not.  

MsDean
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 10:52 PM

Oh I see. You know this is going to sound bad but I will give you the same advice I gave my friend. Also I hope this does not offend the grandmas on here but....A lot has changed since the older generation has had kids. My firend was going to have grandma watch her daughter while she worked. So i told her to make sure grand,a knows of all things that have to dow ith safety even if she has raised X amount of kids. Back in the day moms smoked while pregnant among many other things. Anyways your mom is probobly upset about the pot smoking thing but just try to sit down and say it is unsafe to smoke anything around a child and you do not want to risk her getting in an accident, etc. She might not realize ity is such a big deal nowadays kwim. Anyways just tell her how you feel and if she continues being the way she is being then just avoid the drama of confrontation with her and make sure you never leave your child unattended with her. By the way my friend who i gave advice to busted grandma giving the baby solids way too early and the grandma also continued giving the baby bottles even after my friend had told her she was only giving her sippy cups.

Quoting BeckieLea:

I understand where you ladies are coming from. I guess with other people, I was not really talking about if they shared the exact same values but more could not respect your values and would not even try to see them, what would you do? I kinda ask because my mother is doing this. I am pregnant with my first and my husband and I have had to make choices for the safety of our child. For example, my mother has told me that her favorite thing to do is to smoke pot and drive. Well I told her that there are absolutely NO circumstances in which my child would ever be in her vehicle and she got mad because she felt I was throwing the pot smoking in her face. I really dont care she is grown and can be DUMB if she damn well pleases but she will not have the opportunity to hurt my baby. There are alot of other things that go into this. I just feel like she is not a healthy person for my child to be around because I dont feel I can trust her, whether I am there or not.  


Me in a nutshell: *Married* *love reading* *hate going to theaters* *wine drinker* *SAHM*  *sometimes call my kids by the wrong name* *mom of 3 brats*

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