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The mother's dictionary

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:02 PM
  • 7 Replies

Mother's Dictionary - What mothers know best


Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.


Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.


Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.


Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.


Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster


Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.


Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.


Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.


Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.


Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.


Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.


Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.


Prepared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.


Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.


Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.


Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.


Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.


Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.


Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.


Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.


Verbal: Able to whine in words


Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.


Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."


Start Date: November 3rd, 2009

Updated: February 6th, 2010


by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:02 PM
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Replies (1-7):
corbenleesmama
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:05 PM

So true!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

bergmom
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:05 PM

LMAO

roxy85
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:08 PM

Dumbwaiter made me LOL!! I was at the bank attempting to deposit a check while my two children decided they needed to throw tandem tantrums. As I'm finishing up the teller ask "Would they like a lollipop?" I told her that I was going to pretend like she didn't just ask that after watching their behavior and walked away...

isolde_8
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:10 PM

bouncing

SurvivingMommy
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:11 PM

OMG we go to this little family style restruant once a week for lunch and this waitress had the nerve to offer my son a dumdum sucker after she watched himthrow his chocolate milk on the floor hope she had as much fun cleaning it up as I had dealing with the tantrumwhen Isaid no

Quoting roxy85:

Dumbwaiter made me LOL!! I was at the bank attempting to deposit a check while my two children decided they needed to throw tandem tantrums. As I'm finishing up the teller ask "Would they like a lollipop?" I told her that I was going to pretend like she didn't just ask that after watching their behavior and walked away...



Start Date: November 3rd, 2009

Updated: February 6th, 2010


krystlzd3
by Platinum Member on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:18 PM

I e-mailed this to my parents, lol

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lovinmy3babs
by on Feb. 20, 2010 at 11:27 PM


Quoting isolde_8:

bouncing


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