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Would you read your daughter's diary?

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:48 PM
  • 112 Replies

I have two friends who both read their daughter's diaries when their girls were both about 14..... and both of my friends found out some stuff that was "scary" in their daughter's lives.  They had to confess to reading the diaries, but were able to help their daughters deal with some very adult issues.  There was a lot of "hatred" from their daughters for awhile, but they got over it. 

I have two boys and they don't have diaries....lol.  My oldest son is 13 and I have access to his facebook account.  He gave me his password when he opened his FB account.  It is all innocent stuff right now.  I do believe in giving kids a certain amount of freedom, but I also think parents have a right to monitor, especially when they are still so young. 

by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
twocutetwins09
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:49 PM

Absolutely.

southernjess3
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:50 PM
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i had a parent figure read my diary when i was younger. I have never felt so much intrusion and untrust....it broke me bad...i felt.....like i wasnt myself anymore..

samthecat001
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:51 PM

nope.  not secretly.
if i was thinking she was really up to no good then i would get it and wait for her and read it WITH her.
monitoring is great.  just not secretively.  i have on occasion over the years had my daughter (she's almost 17 now) dump her bag out so i can peek when i was suspicious.  luckily i was happy with the outcome. lol.  but i dont do that stuff without having her there while i do it.

lesliemck86
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:52 PM

I am not sure I do not have a daughter. If I felt a disconnect and that something might be bothering him, I might look into a journal or whatever....I think all parents should have access to their child's facebook accounts until they are at least 16 years old or very social and hanging out with friends a lot....I wish my mom would have snooped onto my computer activities at 14 honestly.

randi1978
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Absolutely NOT.  A diary is a very private thing and regardless of how old the girl is, the parent has NO RIGHT to pry into it.

imthatgirl728
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:53 PM
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There are no secrets in this house, and my kids are well aware of that. Anything in MY house is just as much mine as theres and I have the right to it. They can have their privacy as long as I feel they have earned it and deserve it. If I don't feel that way I will do whatever I think I need to do to see whats going on in their lives.

Thats my job...and I take this job VERY seriously.

Today I can say I am PROUD to be from Massachusetts!!

Hey Mr. President....Can. You. Hear. Us. NOW!!!!!

sati769leigh
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:53 PM
1 mom liked this

i never forgave my parents for reading my diary. it was a HUGE betrayal of trust. it severaly damaged my relationship with them for the rest of the time i lived at home. i would never turn aruond and do it to my own child.

MikeysMom51108
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this

As far as computer programs, sites, etc...I will have no problem snooping and looking around. But, when it comes to a diary, I think that is very personal. I feel that's one place a girl should feel safe with her innermost thoughts and feelings. I wouldn't look at my daughter's unless I was truly scared for her over something serious. Just to be nosey--no, I wouldn't do it.

I didn't really keep a diary growing up, but my sister did. She had a lot of anger and depressing thoughts for some reason, and her diary was her place to let it all out. My dad got a hold of it one time, and even though my stepmom pleaded with him not to read it--he did. It changed the relationship he and my sister had--and it didn't change for the better. He read things my sister had written about him (basically that she hated him and things along that line), and he took it very, very personally--even though she didn't really mean it, and it was just venting out of anger. They will never be as close as they once were, and that's sad.


soon2bemomof307
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Hell yes I would. I think I have a right to know everything about my child as long as they live in my home. If it's going to save my child (son or daughter) from making a life destructing decision or something worse I don't want to find out too late. I hope that I have a trusting relationship with my children that they can tell me anything but if I felt the need to snoop a little I would.











 




sassy_sparklers
by on Mar. 6, 2010 at 9:56 PM

I have a son and I doubt he'd ever have a diary, but if he does or if I have a daughter and she does, I won't need to stoop to the level where I would have to read their diary-- I will keep an open connection with my kids where no matter WHAT is going on in their lives they can talk to me about it, no matter how much "trouble" they think they will get in.

**edit** Also my parents read my diary when I was thirteen and it damaged my relationship with them to an extent. That's a personal, private sanctuary for my kids unlike something such as Facebook or MySpace where it is revealed to pretty much anyone. I'm not a "snooper" and I don't really like prying myself into other peoples' personal information.

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