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MOMs that USE their KIDS as a WEAPON against the DAD

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:01 AM
  • 62 Replies

 

Poll

Question: I agree to many mothers abuse their position as custodial parent and use it to torment the bio-dad..

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Total Votes: 119

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  I see posts all the time explaining how awful the ex-husband is or the babies Dad , I have even heard this same thing from some real life people that I know. While I'm certain that in some situations denying visitation is warranted. I think in many of these cases the mother is abusing her position as a custodial parent. I have read about how the child isn't in danger "but" , it seems there is always some sort of a but and then often a story about how his sporadic visits would be so much worse for the kid then just cutting him out altogether or his new wife sucks , or he has to prove to me _______ before I will let him take his  kid/s. Well maybe some Moms don't realize how important this relationship is to her kid. Every time I hear sperm donor I just cringe ! I can't stand to think of what that does to a childs self esteem or view of themselves to think half of their genetic material is from someone their Mom now hates and the kids do know when mom despises dad . So I don't know if your ex sucks or not but I do know that most of the time the childs better off having some relationship with their father then having none at all and Moms should keep their negative remarks to themselves and not share all that with their kids.

 

Encouraging children to maintain relationships with both parents makes sense, according to the American Psychological Association. Children in joint custody arrangements have fewer behavior issues, do better in school and have higher self esteem, according to a 2002 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology.- http://www.parentdish.com/2009/10/01/judge-tells-mom-punish-kids-for-skipping-visits-with-dad/

 

http://www.thebrooklyndivorcelawyers.com/publications/Father%20What%20Father%20-%20NYSBA%20FLR%20(Part%20I).pdf

“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
– Douglas Adams


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by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LilahandElliot
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:06 AM

clappingyou rock

I'm Aubree (or Bree), I'm a 21 year old, formula feeding, non-circumcising,  non-vaccinating, occasionally co-sleeping, disposable diapering, spanking when needed, forward faced at 1, brutally honest, thinks children can call their step-parent "mommy" or "daddy" if that's what they choose, wife to Andy since 04/07, mommy to Delilah Renee since 12/07, Mommy to Elliot Jay since 08/09, and step-mommy to Brookelyn Lucille (born 09/05).



mobilemom0608
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:07 AM

totally agree

Tatum2U
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:08 AM

thanks

earthgoddess669
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:08 AM

 Agree!

MsDean
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:09 AM

 I totally agree! It seems like it is all about control sometime with some moms.

randysmommy88
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:11 AM

My son is the result of a rape.  My son is better off without a man who could brutally rape and beat a woman. My fiance is a wonderful man, and an amazing father to Randy.  He doesn't need to be with his spermdonor, who really is a threat to his safety. 

LilahandElliot
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:12 AM

This is the one that annoys me the absolute most on here: "or he has to prove to me _______ before I will let him take his kid/s." Women seriously need to consider the fact that it isn't just their kid. Obviously whoever the man is, he is responsible enough to want to see the child alone... that should be all he has to prove. That's his kid too.

You'll see the stories on here with all the excuses, and then in another post they are the "sperm donor" or a "dead beat" when in all actuality the mother is the one that has caused it... the mother is the one that has pushed him away or put so many contingincies on seeing their child that they don't even want to anymore. Not always... but I've seen this a lot in the 3 years I've been on cafemom.

I'm Aubree (or Bree), I'm a 21 year old, formula feeding, non-circumcising,  non-vaccinating, occasionally co-sleeping, disposable diapering, spanking when needed, forward faced at 1, brutally honest, thinks children can call their step-parent "mommy" or "daddy" if that's what they choose, wife to Andy since 04/07, mommy to Delilah Renee since 12/07, Mommy to Elliot Jay since 08/09, and step-mommy to Brookelyn Lucille (born 09/05).



krystlzd3
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:13 AM

This is why SO and I have already agreed that if things just do not work out, we will always live within a 1 hour drive of each other. That way the boys will know both parents.

LilahandElliot
by on Mar. 7, 2010 at 1:15 AM

I think everyone would agree with you. This post isn't about the moms who have reasons like yours.

Quoting randysmommy88:

My son is the result of a rape.  My son is better off without a man who could brutally rape and beat a woman. My fiance is a wonderful man, and an amazing father to Randy.  He doesn't need to be with his spermdonor, who really is a threat to his safety. 


I'm Aubree (or Bree), I'm a 21 year old, formula feeding, non-circumcising,  non-vaccinating, occasionally co-sleeping, disposable diapering, spanking when needed, forward faced at 1, brutally honest, thinks children can call their step-parent "mommy" or "daddy" if that's what they choose, wife to Andy since 04/07, mommy to Delilah Renee since 12/07, Mommy to Elliot Jay since 08/09, and step-mommy to Brookelyn Lucille (born 09/05).



Tatum2U
by Platinum Member on Mar. 7, 2010 at 10:50 AM

I'm sorry about the circumstances but the OP wasn't about that I even said in the OP that I know sometimes it is better that the kids don't have contact but that's rare , your situation is one of them.

But to many women under play what it means to a kid to have BOTH parents and they hurt their kids. I hate it when I see moms that are saying stuff like this guys has to show me he can be responsible first and stuff like that , he is not like  BABYSISTER WHO MIGHT HAVE TO PROVE SOMETHING IN ORDER TO BE ALLOWED AROUND THE KIDS HE'S THEIR (oops cap lock sorry) Dad and has parental rights the same as the mom.

Quoting randysmommy88:

My son is the result of a rape.  My son is better off without a man who could brutally rape and beat a woman. My fiance is a wonderful man, and an amazing father to Randy.  He doesn't need to be with his spermdonor, who really is a threat to his safety. 


“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
– Douglas Adams


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