Would you be a rat? update in red

[Dingleberries]

 Odd question... Awhile back I witnessed my friend cheating on her DH with someone I knew. I swore to myself I wasn't going to say anything because I'm not the type to ruin marriages. She also swore she would never do it again if I promised not to say anything. But guess what? She is still fucking the guy and I know he has herpes. Her DH is military and from what I know, they can't have any STD's. I'm very tempted to tell her DH because she's recently just started back up with him and I know he just contracted the std (long story how I know about it but he told me when I took him to the dr appt).

SOOOO should i say something to her DH? He's definatly at risk and I don't want him to be kicked from the military knowing his job is their only source of income.

Thanks

Also don't bash me, I'm not the one who did it to them - I just need to know if where my morals stand should be said to others.

**UPDATE**

Thanks for all the replies. I weighed my options and went over there when he got home. He was still in uniform and by the time I got to him, he had this look on his face... i can't explain it. Anyhow, I said I needed to talk to him and apparently he knew something was up but the fact I knew about it first bothered him. I told him his wife slept with my neighbor and he recently found out he has herpes. I can't explain the look of horror on his face but now my friend completely hates me saying I've ruined her marriage. I don't know whats going to happen next.

Thanks for the help ladies, I'll keep you posted.

[stevi3905]

 I'll give you a bump because I have no idea what I would do or what is the right thing to do. I do think he has a right to know, but I don't know if I would want to be the one to tell him.

[Dingleberries]

 i know, thats my other dilemma. I hate being the "bad guy" but I would feel even worse if my lack of saying something ruined his life... kwim?

Quoting stevi3905:

 I'll give you a bump because I have no idea what I would do or what is the right thing to do. I do think he has a right to know, but I don't know if I would want to be the one to tell him.

 

[ballerina18]

This is a difficult situation, but I think the husband has the right to know. Your friend said she wouldn't continue on with the other gentleman if you didn't tell, but she if she is with the other man then I think you are under no obligation to not tell her DH.

I know it's hard, but he should be informed. I think if it were me I would tell my friend that if she didn't tell her DH I would. I think it would be better if he heard it from his wife.

[Dingleberries]

 she knows if she doesn't, i threatened to. But she said its none of my business which she's right but she's also wrong too in other ways

Quoting ballerina18:

This is a difficult situation, but I think the husband has the right to know. Your friend said she wouldn't continue on with the other gentleman if you didn't tell, but she if she is with the other man then I think you are under no obligation to not tell her DH.

I know it's hard, but he should be informed. I think if it were me I would tell my friend that if she didn't tell her DH I would. I think it would be better if he heard it from his wife.

 

[stevi3905]

 Oh I hear you. Its a hard choice.

Quoting Dingleberries:

 i know, thats my other dilemma. I hate being the "bad guy" but I would feel even worse if my lack of saying something ruined his life... kwim?

Quoting stevi3905:

 I'll give you a bump because I have no idea what I would do or what is the right thing to do. I do think he has a right to know, but I don't know if I would want to be the one to tell him.

 

 

[allyson2212]

 If you were the one getting cheated on and being put at risk to get an STD that doesnt have a cure, would YOU want to be told??? TELL HIM TONIGHT before its too late!

[-xoxo-]

Doesn't he already know? Not trying to be snippy or anything, I just know that if I got herpes after sleeping with my wife, I'd know. 

[allyson2212]

 

Quoting -xoxo-:

Doesn't he already know? Not trying to be snippy or anything, I just know that if I got herpes after sleeping with my wife, I'd know. 

 Isnt it the boyfriend that has herpes, or is it the husband? If its the boyfriend, sometimes there isnt any symptoms for awhile, like any STD.

[ballerina18]

I was thinking about this too. Herpes is a sexually transmitted disease. So, if he went to the doctors and found out he has herpes...wouldn't it be logical to automatically conclude that your wife is sleeping around? Maybe he is in denial. Or..maybe he is sleeping around too? *shrug*

Quoting -xoxo-:

Doesn't he already know? Not trying to be snippy or anything, I just know that if I got herpes after sleeping with my wife, I'd know. 

[-xoxo-]

Oh yeah, maybe the husband doesn't know he has it yet. 

Quoting allyson2212:

 

Quoting -xoxo-:

Doesn't he already know? Not trying to be snippy or anything, I just know that if I got herpes after sleeping with my wife, I'd know. 

 Isnt it the boyfriend that has herpes, or is it the husband? If its the boyfriend, sometimes there isnt any symptoms for awhile, like any STD.