Does your DH constantly "sit" on your tail while you are on the computer? Does he watch your every move and constantly question you about what you are doing on the computer? Who you are talking to? Who so and so is?
From the time i wake up until the time I go to bed my DH is constantly asking me about the computer. Or making "jokes" about me having a boyfriend on the computer. For one I do not or rarely talk to guys on the computer. I play facebook games and just chat with family or female friends and here and there I will talk to a guy who is generally under 18 and lives hundreds of miles away and I have known for a LONG time.
I do not know how to convince my DH to stop. It is driving me nuts and causing problems. I do not question him about the woman he talks to at work or about anything. He use to be way worse. He knows nothing about computers or how to use them.
His exes cheated on him and talked to guys sexually on the computer, but Im not them and I do not do that. I hold to my vows and my marriage Im at my wits end and do not know what to do. Im am honestly thinking about getting my internet shut of so he will stop, but i use my internet for many things. To keep in contact with family and right now I am looking for an online college to attend.
How do i convince him that not all women or people in general use the computer for cheating purposes?
I hope this makes sense, if not just ask and I will try to clarify stuff. Thanks
That is why i don't/can't work. He would constantly question me if I was a few minutes late. So i decided that he can work and if need be he can get two jobs if we need it. I wasn't gonna go through that hell anymore. I don't understand men.
Quoting kaitlynsmom1230:
I feel the same way sometimes, but not w/ the internet. He thinks I'm going to meet someone at work like his ex did. He just doesn't understand that HE is the one that just does it for me.
Oy! What fun that is. I'm sorry you have to deal with the problem and I really can not offer advice. My husband doesn't hoover when I am on the computer. He knows what I am doing he has sat next to me and asked who I was talking to before and I simply showed him what I was doing- he is also welcome to go through the history if he feels the urge to check up on me. But, then again, he is secure enough in our marriage to know he has me completely. I guess just let him see what you do and if he still isnt satisfied, let him browse your history too- good luck with it. Sounds like maybe you need to spend some time with him and not on the computer so much- and no, that isn't a bash.
Good luck convincing him. I am on a lot of forums, and I telk to some of these people on AIM instead of in forum, my husband is always asking me who I am talking to, are they a girl or a guy, what are we talking about, etc. It is super annoying. I have told him sooooo many times that it is just friendly banter, but he swears up and down that it is something more. Now he is all upset when I get texts now. I have a male friend I have known for years, he texts me once in a while, and hubby goes nuts even if he reads the texts and sees it is usually video game talk.
No, my dh doesn't shadow me and my computer use. Of course, he doesn't have a history of anybody cheating on him via computer...so I'm sure that's the difference. Not sure what you should do, other than what you've probably already done....assure him....be open with your use. Tell him what you told us...how crazy it makes you. Hope you get the situation resolved, b/c I know I'd go nuts if it were me.
I don't have this problem. He has a laptop, I have a laptop and we have a house computer. If it wasn't for this I would never get time on the computer.
I just recently got a laptop, so now I sit right next to my husband on the couch while I'm on the computer. He barely even looks over at what I'm doing, lol.
I would say that your husband has valid insecurities. He's been hurt by the "computer" in the past and so you're sort of taking the fall for that.
When he does this, do you tell him to go away or do you let him see what you're doing?
I have numerous times shown him what I am doing, explained to him how to do what i am doing. Told him that if he ever felt the need to see what i was doing he can go through my stuff, he can go my mom and ask her to show him my emails, facebook, myspace anything he wants to see. I never tell him to go away, for that would make things worse. I have even mentioned to him about going to counseling to get over his feelings about what his exes did. I hide nothing from him at all.
Brat111507- I am only on the computer while he is at work or on the weekends i will check my stuff. We spend most nights and weekends snuggled with our 15 month old watching movies or cleaning.
Right now I am also in the process in securing something out here for my sister so she can move closer to my family. She is 24 and mentally ill and i use the computer to look up my information.
Thank you ladies for your replies.
same here...i will admit that i hate when he decides that he is going to play video games all night but it is just an annoyance...he does his thing and i do mine and we dont bother eachother.....good luck mama
Quoting Brat111507:Oy! What fun that is. I'm sorry you have to deal with the problem and I really can not offer advice. My husband doesn't hoover when I am on the computer. He knows what I am doing he has sat next to me and asked who I was talking to before and I simply showed him what I was doing- he is also welcome to go through the history if he feels the urge to check up on me. But, then again, he is secure enough in our marriage to know he has me completely. I guess just let him see what you do and if he still isnt satisfied, let him browse your history too- good luck with it. Sounds like maybe you need to spend some time with him and not on the computer so much- and no, that isn't a bash.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- babybratnc
on Mar. 15, 2010 at 8:25 AM