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Can I tell a Bride I don't want to be a bridesmaid anymore?

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:02 PM
  • 94 Replies

I was asked to be a bridesmaid a few weeks ago for a wedding of a girl that I am not very close with, but we get along great... I said yes, but now I am thinking that I didnt know what I was getting into....

1st-- I am a stay at home mom/full time student. I live on a budget as is

2nd-- I have size DD breasts

So my problem is- I am being asked to buy and wear a strapless dress. This is a problem for me because I know that my breasts are not going to stay in a strapless dress (which I told the Bride and she has ignored) and I also know that I am going to have to alter the dress and buy a special strapless bra.
The dress alone is 120 and after the alterations and new bra I'm sure I will  be spending 200 for it. Then shoes...........
ALSO-- She wants us to get professional fake nails, I've had them once and I HATED them, they ruined my natural nails....
Then she wants us to get professional hair and makeup as well.... that will be at the very least another 100 dollars......
So I'm looking at around $400 to be in her wedding....

I don't know what to do. I really don't want to be an annoying bridesmaid, but I also don't want to go broke to stand around uncomfortable all day...

HELP!!!

by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
maybaby08
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:04 PM

When is the wedding? If she just asked you I assume it's awhile away. I think it's okay to say I'm sorry I cannot be in your wedding if there is suitable time for them to find another person to replace you.

abbysmommy429
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:04 PM

 This is funny b/c I was wondering the same thing! I said that I would and now I regret it... we aren't close and I just don't feel like dealing w/ it, but I don't have the heart to tell her that I changed my mind.

momma_bear1
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:04 PM

I would sit down and talk to her about it. Just explain why you don't feel you are the right person to be in the wedding. If she is a true friend, she will understand that you don't have that money to spend and let you out no problems.

marshsmom
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:04 PM

Screw etiquette, I'd just tell her I couldn't do it.  I've never been in a wedding where the bride was inconsiderate of every one's budget and comfort level.

mykidsrock234
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:05 PM

Just be honest.. tell her you're uncomfortable and really don't have extra money. My best friend is getting married in May and wanted me to be a bridesmaid.. I backed out. She was okay with it.

nurbabe82
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:06 PM

 Tell her you had a change of heart and that after looking at the total cost of everything you are not going to be able to participate in the wedding.

Johns_Mommy_03
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:07 PM

I would tell her that you just can'tfit it in to your budget and you thik it woul be in her best interest to find another bridesmaid

Megpie8116
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:07 PM

The Wedding is in August...

When I tried to tell her about the strapless dress being an issue she got really upset...

AND--- My fiance is in the wedding as well....

LoriLou75
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:09 PM

Unless the wedding is more then a year away, it would be (IMO) wrong to back out. You should have thought about all this before accepting. None of it is any different from what most bridesmaids are excpected to do.

StephG718
by on Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:10 PM

 IMO if a bride has so many demands then she should have to pay for them. I have never heard (until recently) of bridesmaids having to pay for their own dresses. I could see maybe the hair and nails being paid for by the bridesmaid but the dress should be left up to the bride. To me, thats like asking people to help pay for your wedding (that isn't the parents) KWIM?

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