Spinoff of the other teen pregnancy post today Hypothetical question

[Mommyof6_]

I was raped at 14. I got pregnant. Everyone kept saying it'd be best to get an abortion. Even my parents told me I should get an abortion.I knew I'd feel worse aborting. After the first trimester everyone said to give her up for adoption. I knew I wouldn't be able to do either. I loved her from the first time I felt her move. She's an amazing blessing. After her birth, no one even considered adoption. My family felt the same love I did from the first time I felt her. If your daughter was in this situation, would you force adoption/abortion/keeping it? Would you urge her towards an option?

[Kaibutsu]

If my poor baby was raped I would most definitely let her make whatever choice she thought would help her heal.

[lyranightshade]

I would carefully explain ALL options, but urge abortion at first, simply for health reasons. At 14, your body just isn't made for labor and nine months of very, very hard work of pregnancy. After she decided on something, I would be there for her and support her, but I would make sure she knew the pros and cons of EVERY solution. If she chose to keep it, I would be EXTREMELY clear that I would NOT be the child's main caretaker. She would be getting up with the baby, feeding the baby, changing the diapers, raising the baby. Any care of the baby on my part would be purely voluntary. I would not be a built in babysitter. If she chose for me to be her babysitter, she'd have to have to pay me (like, a buck an hour or something, but still..and of course, I'd help out more, but I'd want to brace her for the worst possible case.) I'd insist she visit an adoption agency and talk to them, learn first hand and speak to someone who'd given their baby up for adoption, if she was completely opposed to abortion. I believe in education, for every route. But, ultimately, it would be her decision.

[SugarGuru]

her baby/body her choice...to urge her towards abortion/adoption is not my job...my job is to make her get off her ass and get one...and get money saved to afford daycare and such...as in she hands her paychecks over to me to deposit into a bank account she cannot touch without my permission....and that's because trust went out the window...if she needs money out for the baby, i will withdraw it for her...but keep the balance of said account available to her

[ZelisMommy]

I dont like these questions (but I did vote her choice).

Its one of those questions you really cant answer unless you've been there, KWIM? Its easy to say "id do this" or "id do that" but you dont really know or cant really say until you're there.

[SugarGuru]

oh crap! i didn't read your post, so sorry, thought it was just a S/O....obviousy she didn't mean to get impregnated...but it's still her body and choice...and i'd still make her get a job if she chose to keep it and still do the bank account thing....but not quite as harsh obviously

[Dzyre1115]

I would of course urge her to keep the child but urge would be the most I could do.

[lyranightshade]

I should also say that she'd be in counselling to help with the rape. Having been there, myself, I know first hand how terrifying and shaming it is. I was so sure I was pregnant afterward.. the stress made me two months late. Thankfully, I was not. I would be supportive of my daughter, and not unsympathetic to her special circumstances. But I would want her to be SURE of what she's getting into.

[ShadowLark]

Quoting SugarGuru:

her baby/body her choice...to urge her towards abortion/adoption is not my job...my job is to make her get off her ass and get one...and get money saved to afford daycare and such...as in she hands her paychecks over to me to deposit into a bank account she cannot touch without my permission....and that's because trust went out the window...if she needs money out for the baby, i will withdraw it for her...but keep the balance of said account available to her

Why don't you trust her if she was RAPED?  Are you saying that was HER fault?  That's BS!

[CAarmywife]

i wouldnt force anything, i would just make sure she was giving information about all her choices and really talked it out. its her choice, i would just make sure she made an informed decision.

[ShadowLark]

Quoting SugarGuru:

oh crap! i didn't read your post, so sorry, thought it was just a S/O....obviousy she didn't mean to get impregnated...but it's still her body and choice...and i'd still make her get a job if she chose to keep it and still do the bank account thing....but not quite as harsh obviously

Oh good - that makes more sense.