when did i become such a shallow, selfish, jealous b***?? (long vent)

[momma_gig]

i don't know if it's because i've been hurt so badly in the past, or if my hormones haven't settled down yet from having 2 kids so close together, but i don't like who i am anymore! i was NEVER the jealous type before i got pregnant with dd. then it seemed i turned into the jealous gf that always lets her jealousy get in the way. and when the hell did i become so selfish? did that sneek in with the jealousy?

ok, let me backtrack here and explain what i'm talking about.... ever since my 1st pregnancy i have become the jealous gf. i HATE when my bf talks to other girls, even though he's been friends with them since hs. i get territorial when we're out somewhere and a girl we used to go to hs with is there. but WHY? he's never cheated on me. i know he would never cheat on me. but since having the 2 kids i've put on a few (ok, MORE than a few) extra pounds, and these chicks we went to hs with stayed their same, skinny selves. so it worries me that he might find them more attractive than me.

also, i've noticed lately that i have become downright selfish! my cousin is having a baby in june. a couple months before getting pregnant she had a pregnancy scare. she was downright terrified because she was only 16 (turned 17 a few days after finding out she was pregnant) and knew she couldn't handle a baby. so you think she would get smarter about using protection. nope. now her and her stoner bf are living in a tiny apartment and she pretty much has nothing. she found out she's having a boy and her sister (who i am best friends with) asked if i had old baby boy clothes that my ds has outgrown. of course i do-- he's only 5 months old. but i was planning on selling them and making money for myself. i'm a sahm so anything [decent] i can do to earn some extra cash is nice. but since it would be totally bitchtastick of me to NOT give her clothes, i'm going to give her the clothes. is it so wrong that this totally pisses me off? i mean, yes i have more than her, and yes i have a better situation than her... but maybe if she would've stopped smoking weed ALL THE TIME she could've thought more clearly and made better decisions!

DISCLAIMER: i am in NO WAY bashing teen moms. i was a teen mom. i'm just upset with the fact that she had a pregnancy scare 2 MONTHS before actually getting pregnant and didn't learn her lesson. she was a stoner and made horrible decisions. especially because now she isn't even sure she really likes this guy anymore!

thank you to all you ladies that actually read this. i hope you don't think any worse of me

[Jammie696]

I think your just having "one of those days"...and if you don't want to give her all of your stuff don't. Keep some of it to sell.

[smurfbitebug]

 aw honey those are the hormones. i was never jealous of my husband either, but now that i'm pregnant, i find myself scared that something will happen and our family will no longer be a family...so what do i do? i get in my own way and bug my husband to death about other girls! i feel ridiculous about it as well...but i can't stop myself. well, we talked about it, and we've reached a pretty good compromise. while i'm pregnant and all hormonal and weird, i can ask questions, but i can't make assumptions- and he will be completely honest and answer them all and be patient. it's working so far...there's this one girl at his work i have a problem with because she blatantly flirts with him in front of me and gives me dirty looks. he told me that every time i come to his work he'll order a part until she delivers it, and then i can confront her for closure. which is cool, i'm never scared to learn the truth or embarassed if i'm wrong. my husband is great and really trying to not stress me out about it...anyone else would've told me to get over it.

[oporb]

part of it is also that you are so much more dependant on him -- I mean if he WERE to go get with another female you and your kids would be in a terribel situation.... so I think once we have kids, especially little kids we get much more clingy - not becasue of anything the guy has done - its just our instinct to keep the family together for teh sake of the kids -- does that make sence???

As far as the clothes -- yeah - I'd feel teh same way -- just pick out the best/nicest stuff and sell that - give her the stained onsies!!!

[momma_gig]

that's so awsome of your hubby :D

Quoting smurfbitebug:

 aw honey those are the hormones. i was never jealous of my husband either, but now that i'm pregnant, i find myself scared that something will happen and our family will no longer be a family...so what do i do? i get in my own way and bug my husband to death about other girls! i feel ridiculous about it as well...but i can't stop myself. well, we talked about it, and we've reached a pretty good compromise. while i'm pregnant and all hormonal and weird, i can ask questions, but i can't make assumptions- and he will be completely honest and answer them all and be patient. it's working so far...there's this one girl at his work i have a problem with because she blatantly flirts with him in front of me and gives me dirty looks. he told me that every time i come to his work he'll order a part until she delivers it, and then i can confront her for closure. which is cool, i'm never scared to learn the truth or embarassed if i'm wrong. my husband is great and really trying to not stress me out about it...anyone else would've told me to get over it.

[momma_gig]

that makes total sense. that's how i feel!

and i literally LOL'd at the 2nd part. but i might just pick out the best clothes, give her half and then sell the rest. i have a ton of small diapers i'mgoing to give her so that should make up for it :P

Quoting oporb:

part of it is also that you are so much more dependant on him -- I mean if he WERE to go get with another female you and your kids would be in a terribel situation.... so I think once we have kids, especially little kids we get much more clingy - not becasue of anything the guy has done - its just our instinct to keep the family together for teh sake of the kids -- does that make sence???

As far as the clothes -- yeah - I'd feel teh same way -- just pick out the best/nicest stuff and sell that - give her the stained onsies!!!

[StephanAndCoral]

just a note: glad I'm not the only one. Thank you

 

[sexy_momma2885]

i think alot of your self esteem has to do with this... trust me i know i felt the same way when i was pregnant bc i have been the skinny girl always and now i am not... yah know? but maybe its a mild case of depression i mean ur baby boy is only 5 months old. thats why u might be so angry and feelin jealous and bad about yourself... u should talk to your doc...

[MizusT]

Hey, you are entitled to feel whatever you feel...especially about the irresonsible pot smoking cousin.  I wouldn't want to help her out either.  She should learn what it is like to struggle because it seems that is what she is going to do for at least the start of this baby's life.  But the one you DON'T want having to struggle is the baby.  I know...you gotta help her to help him....

As for the jealousy thing...it's your own insecurity making your brain go there.  You need to find a way to deal with your own issues surrounding that..whatever they may be.  He is with YOU...right?  Comes home to YOU?  Sleeps with YOU?  Has kids with YOU?  See where I'm going here?....  GL...these feelings are never fun.  And you're not bad...just normal.

[MommaClark3]

First of all if you were with a guy who is basing his relationship with on your looks... he's not worth being with! At all...

As for the baby clothes thing and the stoner chick who can't remember the fear of possibly being pregnant??? I cannot answer that one honestly... I keep haning on to my baby clothes because I keep hoping by some miracle I MIGHT have one last baby... I can't give mine up for some reason and I don't understand why!

[momma_gig]

you're welcome :)

Quoting StephanAndCoral:

just a note: glad I'm not the only one. Thank you