When I was single, I had a rule that I did not become seriously involved with men who had children. Guys I would go on dates with, find out they had kids and then nicely refuse a relationship with would act like I was a horrible person. Friends who knew about my rule said I was cruel. However, I honestly felt like I wanted to eventually have my own family and I did not want the emotional complications of stepchildren, baby's momma's etc. Not to mention all the money issues involved with a man that already had children. I honestly did not feel I was being mean or whatever...it was just the way I felt and what I was comfortable with in my own life. So, what do you think of the rule many single women and men have about not dating those with children?
And, before someones asks, now that I have children, if I suddenly found myself single, my rules would of course change as of course my situation is much, much different now.
well....i was a single mom. and if a man didn;t love me enough to be willing to take the baggage that i came with..then he wasnt worth my time either. fortunately i found a man who didn;t care that i had babies and now loves and them and cares for them and considers them practically his own
I tried dating a guy with kids and I ended up running, fast. His kids were 7 and 5, neither of them were potty trained, yet he made them wear big kid underwear. I cleaned up so much shit in the time we were together, I just wasn't about to deal with that a second longer. Props to the women that can deal with that, I can't.
And to your last paragraph I say, lol. : ) I never had that rule. I actually married a man who had 3 beautiful boys already. Yes, there have been many complications (just check my previous posts), and the bm does more than enough to try and wreck our marriage, but we stay strong, and I don't regret any of it. Those children are the best! And I am the best mom they have ever known (no bashing, it's the truth, bm has no clue how to deal with kids). I still feel that way even now that I have my own.
It's totally understandable. I married a man with two children. We are separated and his "baggage" is a part of the reason for that. And I'm not calling the innocent children baggage, but the whole difficult situation, the ex that won't let go, etc.
BTW, I had that same rule too.
I married a man with two children, before having my own. At the time i didnt care, but looking back i think it wasnt the right choice for me, however ...i wouldnt have my child now if i hadn't have married him. I found a man that loves my daughter as his own, and i am forever grateful for it.
Quoting mommy0815:haha sounds to me like what goes around comes around. you wouldnt date someone who has kids but now your in that situation that the men are in and some men feel the way you did. I think its crazy to feel that way...but thats just my opinion
I know, it is hypocritical, isn't it? I wouldn't deny that for a second.
If you honestly don't want to deal with someone else's kids, it's better to bow out before even attempting.
Ashley's Husband Made it Home From a Deployment in Iraq - And Then Tragedy Struck
- Amom4BabyDude
on Mar. 19, 2010 at 5:40 PM